An English professor wrote the words : A woman without her man is nothing on the chalkboard and asked his students to...
proposed: 31 Aug 2004
I am not sure exactly how this works,
but this is amazingly accurate.
The picture below has two identical
dolphins in it. It was used in a case
study on stress levels at the Mayo
Clinic and later at Fletcher Medical
Center in Burlington.
Look at both dolphins jumping out of the
water. The dolphins are identical. A
closely monitored, scientific study
revealed that, in spite of the fact that
the
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 25 March 2008
Due to increasing products liability
litigation, American liquor
manufacturers have accepted the
FDA's suggestion that the following
warning labels be placed immediately on
all varieties of alcohol containers:
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may
leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your bra and panties.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may
make you think you are whispering
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 7 March 2005
After school one day, a young
first-grade boy was sitting at the
kitchen table, eating his afternoon
snack, when he blurted out, "Mom, the
teacher was asking me today if I have
any brothers or sisters who will be
coming to school."
The boy's mother replied, "That's nice
of her to take such an interest, dear.
What did she say when you told her you
are an only child?"
She just said, "Thank
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 10 March 2008
A new young bride calls her mother in
tears.
She sobs:
- Robert doesn't appreciate what I
do for him.
- Now, now,. ..her mother comforted, I
am sure it was all just a
misunderstanding.
- No, mother, you don't understand.
I bought a frozen turkey roll and he
yelled and screamed at me about the
price!
- Well, the nerve of that lousy
cheapskate! says her mom. Those turkey
rolls are only a
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 12 April 2005
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid
Aodccrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it dnsoe't mttaer in
waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are,
the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the
frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit
pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and
you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 10 November 2004
Unexpected cold snaps had destroyed the
buds on my father's young peach tree for
two years in a row. This spring, Dad was
ready. He replanted the sapling in a
large box, mounted it on wheels, and put
the tree in the garage whenever the
temperature dropped.
One warm April day, Dad was wheeling the
tree out into the yard, and he stopped
to give our dog a drink from the garden
hose. A neighbor
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 14 June 2007
This year, taxpayers will receive an
Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a
very exciting new program that I will
explain using the Q and A
format:
"Q. What is an Economic Stimulus
Payment?
"A. It is money that the federal
government will send to taxpayers.
"Q. Where will the government get this
money?
"A. From taxpayers.
"Q. So the government is giving me back
my own money?
"A. No, they are
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 28 January 2009
I've sure gotten old. I've had two
bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, and
new knees. Fought prostate cancer and
diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear
anything quieter than a jet engine, and
take 40 different medications that make
me dizzy, winded, and subject to
blackouts. Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation; hardly feel my
hands and feet anymore. Can't remember
if I'm 85 or 92. Have
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 11 December 2006
Mr. Gable had a leak in the roof over
his dining room, so he called a
repairman to take a look at it. "When
did you first notice the leak?" the
repairman inquired.
Mr. Gable scowled. "Last night, when it
took me two hours to finish my soup!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 12 October 2006
- 25th Wedding Anniversary -
At the banquet of Tom and Susan's 25th
wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to
give his friends a brief account of the
benefits of a marriage of such long
duration.
- Tell us, Tom, just what is it you have
learned from all those wonderful years
with your wife?
Tom responded:
- Well, I've learned that marriage is
the best teacher of all. It teaches you
loyalty,
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 21 June 2007
A young husband comes home one night,
and his wife throws her arms around his
neck: "Darling, I have great news:
I'm a month overdue. I think
we're going to have a baby! The
doctor gave me a test today, but until
we find out for sure, we can't tell
anybody."
The next day, a guy from the electric
company rings the door-bell, because the
young couple hasn't paid their last
bill:
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 31 August 2004
Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the
river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his
clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan
asked "Why"?
A: The animals told him. Your tail is in
front".
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 5 February 2007
- Bless me Father, for I have sinned
with a woman.
The priest asks, "Is that you, little
Johnny Parisi?"
- Yes, Father, it is.
- And who was the woman you were with?
- I can't tell you, Father. I don't want
to ruin her reputation.
- Well, Johnny, I'm sure to find out her
name sooner or later, so you may as well
tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?
- I cannot say.
- Was it Teresa Volpe?
- I'll never
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 6 October 2006
Jack, who is a smart businessman, talks
to his son
Jack: I want you to marry a girl of my
choice
Son: "I will choose my own bride!"
Jack: "But the girl is Bill Gates's
daughter."
Son: "Well, in that case..."
Next Jack approaches Bill Gates.
Jack: "I have a husband for your
daughter."
Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too
young to marry!"
Jack: "But this young man is a
vice-president of
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 29 September 2005