FINAL EXAM The student reports for his university final examination that consists of yes/no type questions. He takes his seat...
proposed: 31 Aug 2004
FINAL EXAM
The student reports
for his university final examination
that consists of yes/no type questions.
He takes his seat in the examination
hall, stares at the question paper for
five minutes and then, in a fit of
inspiration, takes out a coin and starts
tossing it, marking the answer sheet:
Yes, for Heads, and! No, for Tails.
Within half an hour he is all done,
whereas the rest of the class is still
sweating it out.
During the
last few minutes he is seen desperately
throwing the coin, muttering and
sweating. The moderator, alarmed,
approaches him and asks what is going
on. "I finished the exam in half an
hour, but now I'm rechecking my
answers."
3 Little Pigs - The Untold Story This is classic - a true story, proving how fascinating is the mind of a six year old. They think so logically. A teacher was reading the story of [...]
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A cat died and went to Heaven. God met
her at the gates and said:
- You have been a good cat all these
years. Anything you want is yours for
the asking.
The cat thought for a minute and then
said:
- All my life I lived on a farm and
slept on hard wooden floors. I would
like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on.
God said:
- Say no more.
Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy
pillow.
A few days later,
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 30 March 2005
A man called home to his wife and said,
"Honey I have been asked to go fishing
up in Canada with my boss & several of
his friends. We'll be gone for a
week. This is a good opportunity for me
to get that promotion I've been
wanting so could you please pack enough
clothes for a week and set out my rod
and fishing box? We're leaving from
the office & I will swing by the house
to pick my
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 18 October 2004
A simple friend, when visiting, acts
like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator
and helps himself.
A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from
your tears.
A simple friend doesn't know your
parents'
first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in
his address book.
A simple friend brings a bottle of wine
to your party.
A real friend comes
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 5 May 2005
3 Little Pigs - The Untold Story
This is classic - a true story, proving
how fascinating is the mind of a six
year old. They think so logically.
A teacher was reading the story of the
Three Little Pigs to her class. She came
to the part of the story where the first
pig was trying to gather the building
materials for his home. She read,
"...and so the pig went up to the man
with the wheelbarrow
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 31 August 2004
I went to the cinema the other day and
in the front row was an old man and with
him was his dog. It was a sad funny kind
of film, you know the type. In the sad
part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in
the funny part, the dog laughed its head
off. This happened all the way through
the film. After the film had ended, I
decided to go and speak to the man:
- That's the most amazing thing I've
seen, I
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 14 November 2011
First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet
School were receiving theirfirst anatomy
class, with a real dead cow. They all
gathered around the surgery table with
the body covered with a white sheet. The
professor started the class by telling
them:
- In vet medicine it is necessary to
have two important qualities as a
doctor: the first is that you not be
disgusted by anything involving the
animal
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 2 May 2007
Jack Benny is walking down the street,
when a stick-up man pulls out a gun and
says: Your money or your life!
An extremely long silence follows. Your
money or your life!, the thug repeats.
Finally Benny says: I am thinking!
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 2 February 2006
A boy who was a witness to a crime was
called to testify in court. He was
approached by the defense attorney who
asked, "Did anyone tell you what to say
in court?"
"Yes, sir," answered the boy.
"I thought so," said the attorney. "Who
was it?"
"My father, sir."
"And what did he tell you?" the attorney
asked accusingly.
"He said that the lawyers would try to
get me all tangled up, but if I told the
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 13 November 2006
You are driving along in your car on a
wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus
stop, and you see three people waiting
for the bus:
1. An old lady who looks as if she is
about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your
life.
3. The perfect man (or) woman you have
been dreaming about.
Which one would you choose to offer a
ride to, knowing that there could only
be one passenger in your car.
Think
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 16 May 2005
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for
several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an
argument and neither of them wanted to
concede their position..
As they passed a barnyard of mules,
goats, and pigs, the husband asked
sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sunday, 30 May 2010
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets
pulled over by a Cop. He thinks he is
smarter than the Cop so he decides to
have some fun at the Cop's expense.
Cop says:
- License and registration, please.
Lawyer says:
- What for?
Cop says:
- You didn't come to a complete stop at
the stop sign.
Lawyer says:
- I slowed down, and no one was coming.
Cop says:
- Exactly! License and registration,
please.
Lawyer
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 22 November 2005
Late one night, a man walks into a
dentist's surgery and says, "Excuse me,
can you help me? I think I'm a moth."
Dentist: "You don't need a dentist. You
need a psychiatrist."
Man: "Yes, I know."
Dentist: "So why did you come in here?"
Man: "Well, the light was on."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 9 May 2007
Friends of women:
A wife was not at home for a whole
night. So she tells her husband, the
very next morning, that she stayed at
her girlfriend's apartment over
night. So the husband calls 10 of her
best girlfriends and none of them
confirm that.
Friends of men:
A husband was not at home for a whole
night. So he tells his wife the very
next morning, that he stayed at his
friend's
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 28 September 2004
A lady about eight months pregnant got
on a bus. She noticed the man opposite
her was smiling at her. So she
immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned to a grin, so
she moved again. The man seemed even
more amused. When, on the fourth move,
the man burst out laughing, she
complained to the driver and he had the
man arrested.
The case came up in court. The judge
asked the man
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 2 July 2007
A new missionary recruit went to
Venezuela for the first time. He was
struggling with the language and didn't
understand a whole lot of what was going
on. Intending to visit one of the local
churches, he got lost, but he eventually
got back on track and found the place.
Having arrived late, the church was
already packed. The only pew left was
the one on the front row.
So as not to make a fool of
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 21 February 2007