Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, It was a...

Joke from category: Bancuri in Engleza (English)

proposed: 31 Mar 2005

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer." Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last one said, "Actually it must have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

The graduate with a Science degree asks, Why does it work? The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, How does it work? The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, How much will it [...]
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Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
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An old mafia Don is dying and he calls his grandson to the bed.
- You lissin-a me. I wanna for you to taka my chrome plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me.
- But grandpa, I really don't like guns. Howzabout you leava me your rolex watch instead?
- Shuddup and lissin. Somma day you gonna runna da business, you gonna have a beautifulla wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 17 October 2005


Worst Things To Say On A First Date:
- I used to have a real bad bedwetting problem... but the last couple of weeks I've gotten it under control.
- I know we just met and this might seem a little sudden. .. but could I borrow five hundred dollars?
- Go ahead and Super Size - I found spare change in the sofa today.
- Something tells me that you're very special... but with medication I can ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 14 February 2007


These individual quotes were reportedly taken from actual employee performance evaluations throughout the U.S. Hopefully, none of us will be seeing similar ones on ours.
- Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
- His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.
- I would not allow this employee to breed.
- This employee is really not ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 22 September 2006


A new store named Husband-Mart opened. Husband-Mart is a store where women can go and choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of six floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flight of stairs. There is, however, a catch. AS you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 30 November 2004


A truck driver had to deliver five hundred penguins to the state zoo. As he was driving his truck through the desert, the truck broke down.

After waiting by the side of the road for about three hours, he waved another truck down and offered the driver $500 to take the penguins to the state zoo for him.

The next day, the first truck driver arrived in town and saw the second truck driver ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 3 December 2007


News from Apple

Apple Computers announced today that is has developed a computer chip that can store and play music in women's breast implants.

The iBoob will cost between $499 and $599.

This is considered to be a major breakthrough, because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

Thank to Apple, everyone is now happy. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 28 November 2007


A dog walks into an employment agency and says:
- I'd like to get a job please.
The guy at the employment agency says:
- Wow, you could easily get a job at the circus, with your talents!
The dog replys:
- What would the circus want with a plumber? ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 19 November 2013


A real estate agent had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water.

"That customer's going to come back here pretty mad," he said to his boss. "Should I give him his money back?"

"Money back?" roared the boss. "What kind of salesman are you? Get out there and sell him a houseboat!" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 2 November 2006


With a couple celebrating their 50th anniversary at the church's marriage marathon, the minister asked Brother Ralph to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he managed to live with the same woman all these years.

The husband replied to the audience, "Well, I treated her with respect, spent money on her, but mostly I took her traveling on special occasions."

The minister ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 5 February 2007


I've sure gotten old. I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, and new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, and take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 11 December 2006


Subject on a math test... <br>Solve the
problem: find x on the triangle.
<br>Answer: see for yourself!!Subject on a math test...
Solve the problem: find x on the triangle.
Answer: see for yourself!! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 3 October 2005


3 Little Pigs - The Untold Story

This is classic - a true story, proving how fascinating is the mind of a six year old. They think so logically.

A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home. She read, "...and so the pig went up to the man with the ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 31 August 2004


The Pentagon announced TODAY the
formation of a new 500-man elite
fighting unit called the United States
Redneck Special Forces (USRSF).
<br>These boys will be dropped off in
Iraq and have been given ...The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF).
These boys will be dropped off in Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:
1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5. They are ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 13 March 2008


A man is walking along a cliff and all of a sudden loses his balance, slips, and falls off. Fortunately, he has the presence of mind to grab on to the edge, and he's hanging there for dear life. He hangs and hangs an finally yells out: "Is there anybody up there who can help me?"
There's no answer.
He keeps calling and calling. "Is there anybody up there who can help me?".
Finally this big ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 20 August 2007


- Bless me Father, for I have sinned with a woman.
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Johnny Parisi?"
- Yes, Father, it is.
- And who was the woman you were with?
- I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation.
- Well, Johnny, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?
- I cannot say.
- Was it Teresa Volpe?
- ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 6 October 2006