I am rejecting your rejection Dear Sir / Madam Thank you for your letter of 4 September 2003. After careful consideration I...

Joke from category: Bancuri in Engleza (English)

proposed: 8 Mar 2005

I am rejecting your rejection

Dear Sir / Madam
Thank you for your letter of 4 September 2003. After careful consideration I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment with your company. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates it is impossible for me to accept all refusals. Despite your company's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore I will start work with your company on Monday 22 September at 8.30 am. I look forward to seeing you then.

Regards,

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol [...]
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Hung Chow calls work and says:
- Hey, boss I no come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt, I no come work.
The boss says:
- You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like that I go to my wife and tell her to sing for me. That makes everything better and I go work. You try that.
Two hours later Hung Chow calls again:
- Boss, I do what you say ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 16 March 2005


Q: How can you tell an extroverted mathematician?
A: He stares at YOUR shoes while talking to you. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 30 April 2008


A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Cop. Being a typical lawyer, he thinks he is smarter than the Cop so he decides to have some fun at the Cop's expense.
Cop says:
- License and registration, please.
Lawyer says:
- What for?
Cop says:
- You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign.
Lawyer says:
- I slowed down, and no one was coming.
Cop says:
- Exactly! License ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 22 November 2005


As the holidays approach, my heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me forwards over the past 12 months. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.

Extra thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes 'cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to seal an envelope.
Also, I scrub ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 19 December 2005


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I though you just said it was nine-one-one.
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 12 April 2007


TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.' ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 26 November 2008


Depression in the age of global outsourcing: I was feeling depressed the other day, so I called LifeLine. They had recently outsourced, so I was put through to their new Call Center in Pakistan.
I explained that I was feeling suicidal. They were very excited to hear this and wanted to know if I could drive a truck or fly an airplane.... ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 12 November 2007


Dear God: My prayer for Next Year is for a fat bank account & a thin body.
Please don't mix these up like you did last year.
Thank you so much! Happy New Year! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 17 January 2011


Who's your best friend? Just try this experiment... Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour. When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you? ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 12 March 2008


Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man in a three-piece suit.
"This young lawyer agreed to marry my daughter," said one.
"No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other.
And so they haggled before the king until he called for silence.
"Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I shall hew the young attorney in half. Each of you shall receive a ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 17 October 2006


Concerned about fitness in my middle 40s, I enrolled in an aerobics class. To my dismay I walked into a room filled with much younger women and decided to combat my nervousness with humor.
"I'm here to do my postnatal exercises."
The instructor gave me an appraising look. "How old is your baby?"
"Twenty-six," I replied. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 13 February 2008


Two cows are conversing in a field. The first one says to the other, "Have you heard about this 'mad cow disease' that is going around?"
The second cow responds, "Yeah, but I'm not worried about it; I'm an airplane!" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 23 July 2008


Recently while going through an airport during one of his many trips, President Bush encountered a man with long hair, wearing a white robe, and sandals, holding a staff.

President Bush went up to the man and said, "Aren't you Moses?" The man never answered but just kept staring straight ahead. Again the President said, "Moses!" in a loud voice. The man just kept staring ahead, never ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 5 April 2005


Phrases For Your "Out-Of-The-Office" E-Mail Auto-Reply:

- I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

- I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.

- You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 18 October 2004


A man is dying of Cancer. His son asked him, "Dad, why do you keep telling people you're dying of AIDS?"
Answer: "So when I'm dead no one will dare touch your mom!" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 5 October 2006