Funny free Jokes: newest

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Vine Bula la scoala cu o buza umflata. Profesoara il intreaba:
- Ce-ai patit Bula?
- E, am fost cu tata la pescuit si mi s-a asezat o viespe pe buza.
- Vaaai, saracul de tine! Si te-a intepat?
- Nu, n-a apucat: a omorat-o tata cu vasla... : : deschide bancul

Category: Bancuri cu Bula
On site from date of: 4 December 2006
Score 7.9 of 12 votes


Doi se plimba prin parc.
Unul zice:
- Uite o pasare moarta...
Celalalt, uitandu-se pe cer:
- Unde? Unde? : : deschide bancul

Category: Bancuri cu Persoane Ingenue
On site from date of: 4 December 2006
Score 8.7 of 9 votes


In a class on abnormal psychology, the instructor was about to introduce the subject of manic depression.
The instructor asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth, screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"
A young man in the rear raised his hand and suggested earnestly, "A basketball coach?" : : deschide bancul

Category: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
On site from date of: 4 December 2006
Score 7.8 of 6 votes


- Poetul canta satul de care nu te mai poti desparti odata ce l-ai parasit.
- O padure virgina este o padure in care mana omului n-a pus niciodata piciorul. (cata profunzime...)
- Dupa moartea parintiilor sai, Creanga si-a trait viata in continuare pana in ultimii ani ai vietii lui.
- Toma Alimos se razbuna pe boierul Manea care l-a ranit mortal pe la spate cu ajutorul lasitatii..
- Caragiale este autorul schitelor si nuvelelor sale, ca sa nu mai vorbim de teatru.
- In poezia lui Toparceanu gazele, gandacii si insectele, cum e cotofana, stau de vorba: "Ce ne facem fetelor? " (asta-mi suna a banc sec...:))))
- Poema "Miorita" circula pe baza orala, adica nu a fost [...] read all

Category: Perle de la Scoala cu Elevi
On site from date of: 29 November 2006
Score 8.9 of 30 votes


Pasagerii din avion si-au ocupat locurile si asteapta echipajul pentru ca aeronava sa poata decola. Intr-un final pilotul si copilotul apar si incep sa mearga printre scaune catre cabina lor. Toate semnele arata ca cei doi sunt orbi. Pilotul poarta ochelari mari negri are baston alb cu care loveste stanga-dreapta ca sa-si gaseasca drumul. Copilotul are si el ochelari negri si este ghidat de un caine insotitor. La inceput pasagerii se foiesc nervosi gandindu-se ca e vorba de o gluma dar cand se pornesc motoarele si avionul incepe sa ruleze usor pe pista toata lumea se linisteste. Deodata avionul accelereaza puternic si panica se reinstaleaza. Unii pasageri incep sa se roage in timp ce altii [...] read all

Category: Bancuri cu Soferi Masini Motociclete
On site from date of: 29 November 2006
Score 8.6 of 8 votes


Concurs de tras cu arcul. Se aseaza tinta - un tip cu un mar pe cap - la 50 metri. Vine primul concurent. Ocheste trage despica marul. Urale.
Mindru, tipul se intoarce si zice:
- I'm Wilhelm Tell!
Runda a doua. Se departeaza tinta la 100 metri. Vine alt concurent ocheste si trage. Marul cade despicat. Ovatii. Se intoarce si asta si zice:
- I'm Robin Hood!
Runda a treia. Tinta se aseaza la 150 metri. Vine al treilea concurent, ocheste si trage. ...
Se intoarce tipul si zice:
- I'm sorry! : : deschide bancul

Category: Bancuri Extreme
On site from date of: 29 November 2006
Score 9.0 of 14 votes


All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. The guests in the front pews, and the minister, responded with ripples of laughter. As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride had given him back his credit card. : : deschide bancul

Category: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
On site from date of: 28 November 2006
Score 8.0 of 5 votes


Explicatii de dat atunci cand nu va merg aplicatiile si programele.

COUNT DOWN......

20. "That's weird..."
19. "It's never done that before."
18. "It worked yesterday."
17. "How is that possible?"
16. "It must be a hardware problem."
15. "What did you type in wrong to get it to crash?"
14. "There is something funky in your data."
13. "I haven't touched that module in weeks!"
12. "You must have the wrong version."
11. "It's just some unlucky coincidence."
10. "I can't test everything!"
9. "THIS can't be the source of THAT."
8. "It works, but it hasn't been tested."
7. "Somebody must have changed my code."
6. "Did you [...] read all

Category: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
On site from date of: 28 November 2006
Score 8.0 of 5 votes


The truth about working in the IT industry:

1. We work weird (night) shifts...
2. They pay you to make the client happy...
3. The client pays a lot of money, but your employer keeps almost every penny...
4. You are rewarded for fulfilling the client's dreams...
5. Your friends fall apart and you end up hanging out with people in the same profession as you...
6. When you have to meet the client you always have to be perfectly groomed...
7. But when you go back home it seems like you are coming back from hell...
8. The client always wants to pay less but expects incredible things from you...
9. When people ask you about your job, you have [...] read all

Category: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
On site from date of: 27 November 2006
Score 8.3 of 8 votes


Se opreste o ciocanitoare pe o creanga de cires si printre frunze vede niste ochi mari:
- Bufnita, tu esti?
- Nu, sunt vrabiuta!
- Da' de ce ai ochii asa mari???
- Am mancat cirese si dupa aia am uitat si am baut apa!!! : : deschide bancul

Category: Bancuri cu Animale, Pasari
On site from date of: 27 November 2006
Score 9.1 of 19 votes

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