People who do lots of work... make lots of mistakes. People who do less work... make less mistakes. People who do no work......
propus: 10 Ian 2005
You are driving along in your car on a
wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus
stop, and you see three people waiting
for the bus:
1. An old lady who
looks as if she is about to die.
2.
An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect man (or) woman you
have been dreaming about.
Which one
would you choose to offer a ride to,
knowing that there could only be one
passenger in your car.
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 16 Mai 2005
A real estate agent had just closed his
first deal, only to discover that the
piece of land he had sold was completely
under water.
"That customer's
going to come back here pretty mad," he
said to his boss. "Should I give him his
money back?"
"Money back?"
roared the boss. "What kind of salesman
are you? Get out there and sell him a
houseboat!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Noiembrie 2006
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of
your emergency?
Caller: My wife is
pregnant and her contractions are only
two minutes apart!
Dispatcher: Is
this her first child?
Caller: This
is her husband!
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 12 Aprilie 2007
There is more money being spent on
breast implants and Viagra today than on
Alzheimer's research. This means that by
2040, there should be a large elderly
population with perky boobs and huge
erections and absolutely no recollection
of what to do with them.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 23 Februarie 2007
A soldier stationed in Iraq recently
received a "Dear John" letter from his
girlfriend back home. It read as
follows:
Dear Ricky,
I can
no longer continue our relationship. The
distance between us is just too great. I
must admit that I have cheated on you
twice, since you've been gone, and
it's not fair to either of us.
I'm sorry.
Please return the
picture of me that I sent to
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 10 Iunie 2005
Three kids come down to the kitchen and
sit around the breakfast table. The
mother asks the oldest boy what he would
like to eat.
- I would have some
****** French toast, he says.
The
mother is outraged at his language, hits
him, and sends him upstairs. She asks
the middle child what he wants.
-
Well, I guess that leaves more *******
French toast for me, he says.
She is
livid, smacks him, and
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006
A new store named Husband-Mart opened.
Husband-Mart is a store where women can
go and choose a husband from among many
men. The store is composed of six
floors, and the men increase in positive
attributes as the shopper ascends the
flight of stairs. There is, however, a
catch. AS you open the door to any floor
you may choose a man from that floor,
but if you go up a floor, you cannot go
back down
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 30 Noiembrie 2004
A Chinese couple got married. When a
baby girl was born, her eyes were big
and blue, hair was curly and blonde,
skin was brown. Finally, the father
named the baby SUM TING RONG."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 11 Septembrie 2006
My grandmother is a computer geek. She
also has trouble remembering quickly
sometimes. One day she couldn't think of
what she wanted to tell us.
Mom
explained, "Your grandma is trying to
retrieve the information, but it is
taking awhile. Evidently she hasn't
defragmented her hard drive lately."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 8 Octombrie 2007
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of
your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying
to reach nine eleven but my phone
doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I though you just said it
was nine-one-one.
Dispatcher: Yes,
ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are
the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may
be old, but I'm not stupid.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 12 Aprilie 2007
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were
waiting one morning for a particularly
slow group of golfers. The engineer
fumed:
- What's with these guys?
We must have been waiting for 15
minutes!
The doctor chimed in:
-
I don't know, but I've never
seen such ineptitude!
The pastor
said:
- Hey, here comes the greens
keeper. Let's have a word with
him.... Hi George! Say, what's
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005
A dog looks at its owner and thinks:
"You feed me, care for me, and love
me...you must be a god!"
A cat looks
at its owner and thinks: "You feed me,
care for me, and love me...I must be a
god!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 17 August 2005
Who's your best friend? Just try this
experiment... Put your dog and your wife
in the trunk of the car for an hour.
When you open the trunk, who is really
happy to see you?
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 12 Martie 2008