A new store named Husband-Mart opened. Husband-Mart is a store where women can go and choose a husband from among many men. The...
propus: 30 Nov 2004
A new store named Husband-Mart opened.
Husband-Mart is a store where women can
go and choose a husband from among many
men. The store is composed of six
floors, and the men increase in positive
attributes as the shopper ascends the
flight of stairs. There is, however, a
catch. AS you open the door to any floor
you may choose a man from that floor,
but if you go up a floor, you cannot go
back down except to exit the building.
So, this woman goes to the
shopping center to find a husband. On
the first floor the sign on the door
reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The woman reads the sign and says to
herself, "Well, that is better than my
last boyfriend, but I wonder what is
further up?" So up she goes.
The second floor sign reads: Floor 2
- These men have jobs and love kids. The
woman remarks to herself, "That's great,
but I wonder what's further up?" And up
she goes.
The third floor sign
reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs,
love kids and are extremely good
looking. "Hmm, better," she says. "But I
wonder what's upstairs?" Up she goes.
The fourth floor sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love
kids, are extremely good looking and
help with the housework. "Wow!",
exclaims the woman, "very tempting. But,
there must be more further up!" And
again she heads up another flight.
The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5
- These men have jobs, love kids, are
extremely good looking, help with the
housework and have a strong romantic
streak. "Oh, mercy me! But just think...
what must be awaiting for me on the
sixth floor?" So up to the sixth floor
she goes.
The sixth floor sign
reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor
#1,459,789,015 to this floor. There are
no men on this floor. This floor exists
solely as proof that women are
impossible to please. Thank you for
shopping at Husband-Mart and have a nice
day!
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 3. The Chinese drink very [...]
banc precedent A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body? He looked at her from head to toes and replied after a pause: I like your sense of humor!
banc urmator
Worst Things To Say On A First Date:
- I used to have a real bad
bedwetting problem... but the last
couple of weeks I've gotten it under
control.
- I know we just met and
this might seem a little sudden. .. but
could I borrow five hundred dollars?
- Go ahead and Super Size - I found
spare change in the sofa today.
-
Something tells me that you're very
special... but with medication I can
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 14 Februarie 2007
A new store named Husband-Mart opened.
Husband-Mart is a store where women can
go and choose a husband from among many
men. The store is composed of six
floors, and the men increase in positive
attributes as the shopper ascends the
flight of stairs. There is, however, a
catch. AS you open the door to any floor
you may choose a man from that floor,
but if you go up a floor, you cannot go
back down
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 30 Noiembrie 2004
I've sure gotten old. I've had two
bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, and
new knees. Fought prostate cancer and
diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear
anything quieter than a jet engine, and
take 40 different medications that make
me dizzy, winded, and subject to
blackouts. Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation; hardly feel my
hands and feet anymore. Can't remember
if I'm 85 or 92. Have
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 11 Decembrie 2006
Mr. Gable had a leak in the roof over
his dining room, so he called a
repairman to take a look at it. "When
did you first notice the leak?" the
repairman inquired.
Mr. Gable
scowled. "Last night, when it took me
two hours to finish my soup!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 12 Octombrie 2006
A young man married a beautiful woman
who had previously divorced ten
husbands. She told her new husband,
"Please be gentle with me, as for me
it's the first time."
"What?" said
the puzzled groom. "How can that be if
you've been married ten times?"
"Well, husband #1 was a Sales
Representative; he kept telling me how
great it was going to be."
"Husband
#2 was in Software Services; he was
never
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 2 August 2006
One sunny day in 2005 an old man
approached the White House from across
Pennsylvania Ave, where he'd been
sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the
US Marine standing guard and said, "I
would like to go in and meet with
President Bush."
The Marine looked
at the man and said, "Sir, Mr. Bush is
no longer president and no longer
resides here." The old man said, "Okay"
and walked away.
The following
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 24 Noiembrie 2005
School: Define The Following Terms
Antibody: Against everyone.
Artery: The study of fine paintings.
Bacteria: Back door to a cafeteria.
Benign: What you've been after
eight.
Cardiology: Advance study of
poker playing.
Cat Scan: Searching
for lost kitty.
Chronic: Neck of a
crow.
Coma: Punctuation mark.
Cyst: Short of sister.
Diagnosis: Person with slanted nose.
Dislocation: In
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 2 Martie 2005
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence
starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say,
'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am
the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 26 Noiembrie 2008
A couple had only been married for two
weeks and the husband, although very
much in love, couldn't wait to go out on
the town and party with his old buddies.
So, he said to his new wife,
"Honey, I'll be right back."
"Where
are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the
wife.
"I'm going to the bar, Pretty
Face," he answered. I'm going to have a
beer."
The wife said, "You want a
beer, my love?" She
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 August 2007
The Liverpool manager flies to Baghdad
to watch a young iraqi play football and
is suitably impressed and arranges him
to come over to Anfield.
Two
weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down to
Man Utd with only 20 minutes left. The
manager gives the young Iraqi striker
the nod and on he goes.
The lad
is a sensation, scores 5 in 20 minutes
and wins the game for Liverpool.
The fans are delighted,
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 13 Februarie 2006
One spelling mistake can destroy your
life!
A husband wrote a message to
his wife on his business trip and forgot
to
add 'e' at the end of a word...
"I am having such a wonderful time!
I wish you were her..."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 7 Aprilie 2011
See if you can do this. Read each line
aloud.
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass
cat
This is busy cat
This is for
cat
This is forty cat
This is
seconds cat
Now go back and
read the THIRD word
in each line
from the top.
Betcha you can't
resist passing it on. LOL!
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 21 Noiembrie 2011
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down
a country road for several miles, not
saying a word.
An earlier discussion
had led to an argument and neither of
them wanted to concede their position..
As they passed a barnyard of mules,
goats, and pigs, the husband asked
sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 30 Mai 2010