A dog walks into an employment agency and says: - I'd like to get a job please. The guy at the employment agency says: - Wow,...
propus de: florin pe data: 19 Nov 2013
A new young bride calls her mother in
doesn't appreciate what I do for
- Now, now,. ..her mother
comforted, I am sure it was all just a
- No, mother, you
don't understand. I bought a frozen
turkey roll and he yelled and screamed
at me about the price!
- Well, the
nerve of that lousy cheapskate! says her
mom. Those turkey rolls are only ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 12 Aprilie 2005
A father was trying to teach his young
son the evils of alcohol.
put one worm in a glass of water and
another worm in a glass of
The worm in the water lived, while the
one in the whiskey
curled up and
"All right, son," asked
the father, "what does that show you?"
"Well, Dad, it shows that if
you drink alcohol, you will not have
worms." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 August 2008
I am not sure exactly how this works,
but this is amazingly accurate.
picture below has two identical dolphins
in it. It was used in a case study on
stress levels at the Mayo Clinic and
later at Fletcher Medical Center in
Look at both dolphins
jumping out of the water. The dolphins
are identical. A closely monitored,
scientific study revealed that, in spite
of the fact that ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 25 Martie 2008
Jack Benny is walking down the street,
when a stick-up man pulls out a gun and
says: Your money or your life!
extremely long silence follows. Your
money or your life!, the thug repeats.
Finally Benny says: I am thinking! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006
At a U2 concert in Ireland, Bono (the
lead singer) asks the audience for some
quiet. Then he starts to slowly clap his
hands. Holding the audience in total
silence, he says into the microphone...
"I want you to think about
something. Every time I clap my hands, a
child in Africa dies."
A voice from
the front of the audience yells out...
"Then ****** stop clapping, ya
********!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 19 Iunie 2007
I'm sorry that you haven't
gotten much email from me lately.
It's because I'm tired. For a
couple years I've been blaming it on
iron poor blood, lack of vitamins,
dieting and a dozen other maladies. But
now I found out the real reason. I'm
tired because I'm overworked.
The population of this country is
237 million. 104 million are retired.
That leaves 133 million to ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004
Dr. Marc Faber, investment guru,
concluded his monthly bulletin (June
2008) with the following comments:
"The federal government is sending
each of us a $600 rebate. If we spend
that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes
to China. If we spend it on gasoline it
goes to the Arabs. If we buy a computer,
it will go to India. If we purchase
fruits and vegetables it will go to
Mexico, Honduras and ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 3 Aprilie 2009
After school one day, a young
first-grade boy was sitting at the
kitchen table, eating his afternoon
snack, when he blurted out, "Mom, the
teacher was asking me today if I have
any brothers or sisters who will be
coming to school."
The boy's mother
replied, "That's nice of her to take
such an interest, dear. What did she say
when you told her you are an only
She just said, "Thank ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 10 Martie 2008
Jack and Max are walking from religious
service. Jack wonders whether it would
be all right to smoke while praying. Max
replies, "Why don't you ask the
Priest?" So Jack goes up to the Priest
and asks, "Priest, may I smoke while I
But the Priest says,
"No, my son, you may not. That's
utter disrespect to our religion."
Jack goes back to his friend and
tells him what the good ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 1 Septembrie 2004
Heaven is where the police are British,
the chefs Italian, the mechanics German,
the lovers French and it is all
organized by the Swiss.
where police are German, the chefs
British, the mechanics French, the
lovers Swiss and it is all organized by
the Italians. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 29 Noiembrie 2005
An engineer was crossing a road one-day
when a frog called out to him and said:
- If you kiss me, I'll turn into
a beautiful princess.
He bent over,
picked up the frog and put it in his
The frog spoke up again and
- If you kiss me and turn me
back into a beautiful princess, I will
stay with you for one week.
engineer took the frog out of his
pocket, smiled at it and ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005
Before I lay me down
I pray for a man,
who's not a creep,
handsome, smart and strong
loves to listen long,
One who thinks
before he speaks,
call, not wait for weeks.
he's gainfully employed,
spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my
Massages me back and begs to
do ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 23 August 2005