An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have...
Banc din categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
propus: 19 Nov 2013
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
banc precedent Why did the woman cross the Road? Never mind that - what I would like to know is what she was doing out of the kitchen, in the first place!
banc urmator
- Comenteaza
- 8.3 din 6 note
Two cows are conversing in a field. The first one says to the other, "Have you heard about this 'mad cow disease' that is going around?"
The second cow responds, "Yeah, but I'm not worried about it; I'm an airplane!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 23 Iulie 2008
- 25th Wedding Anniversary -
At the banquet of Tom and Susan's 25th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration.
- Tell us, Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?
Tom responded:
- Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 21 Iunie 2007
A linguistics professor was lecturing his class one day.
- In English, he said, a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Romanian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.
A loud voice from the back of the room piped up:
- Yeah, right. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 Iunie 2011
If Adam and Eve were Chinese we would still be in paradise because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 24 Februarie 2005
On a sunny morning, William's mother came into her son's room and said, "William, it's Sunday. Time to get up! Time to get up and go to church! Get up!"
From under the covers came mumbles, "I don't want to go!"
"What do you mean?" she said. "That's silly! Now get up and get dressed and go to church!"
"No!" he shot back. "I'll give you two reasons. I don't like them and they don't like ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sambata, 14 Iulie 2007
Explicatii de dat atunci cand nu va merg aplicatiile si programele.
COUNT DOWN......
20. "That's weird..."
19. "It's never done that before."
18. "It worked yesterday."
17. "How is that possible?"
16. "It must be a hardware problem."
15. "What did you type in wrong to get it to crash?"
14. "There is something funky in your data."
13. "I haven't touched that module in weeks!"
12. ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 28 Noiembrie 2006
Thoughts from USA...
(1) Zero Gravity
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside-down, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 10 Martie 2006
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said:
- Where did you get such a great bike?
The second engineer replied:
- Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly:
- Good choice; the ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005
Woman = Time * Money Time = Money
Woman = Money * Money
Money = root of all problems
Woman = Problems. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sambata, 14 Iulie 2007
Hung Chow calls work and says:
- Hey, boss I no come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt, I no come work.
The boss says:
- You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like that I go to my wife and tell her to sing for me. That makes everything better and I go work. You try that.
Two hours later Hung Chow calls again:
- Boss, I do what you say ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 16 Martie 2005
I have a great dog. She's half Labrador, half Pit-bull. A good combination. Sure, she might bite off my leg, but she'll bring it back to me. Jimi Celeste ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 18 Mai 2012
There were these three nuns that were killed in a traffic accident, and immediately sent to the Pearly Gates.
As St. Peter was looking over their files, he said, "You ladies have been very good, but before I can let you in, you have to answer a question." So he asks the first nun,
- "What was the name of the first man that God created?"
- "Adam," she replied. The lights started flashing, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Iunie 2006
Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes
1) That’s not right = Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harbouring a fugitive = Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP = Kum Hia
4) Stupid Man = Dum Fuk
5) Small Horse = Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach = Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped the coffee table = Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift = Chin Tu Fat
9) It’s Very dark in here = Wai So Dim
10) ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 28 Noiembrie 2006
A baby polar bear comes up to his mother and asks, "Momma, am I a polar bear?"
"Why, yes, son, of course you are a polar bear," she replies, sending him out to play.
Several minutes later, he returns. "Momma, are you absolutely sure I am a polar bear?"
"Yes, son, absolutely sure. Now go and play."
Several minutes later, he returns asking, "Momma, you're sure I'm 100% polar bear?"
"Yes, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 13 August 2008
Error messages:
1. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
2. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
3. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
4. This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?
5. Windows message: "Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)"
6. To "shut down" your system, type "WIN"
7. BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 10 Noiembrie 2004