I have a great dog. She's half Labrador, half Pit-bull. A good combination. Sure, she might bite off my leg, but she'll bring it...
propus de: Ovidiu pe data: 18 Mai 2012
An English professor wrote the words :
"A woman without her man is nothing"
on the chalkboard and asked his
students to punctuate it correctly.
All of the males in the class
wrote:
"A woman, without her man,
is nothing."
All the
females in the class wrote:
"A
woman: without her, man is nothing."
Punctuation is powerful
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004
"In Italy for thirty years under the
Borgias they had warfare, terror,
murder, bloodshed; they produced
Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the
Renaissance.
In Switzerland they had
brotherly love, five hundred years of
democracy and peace, and what did they
produce? The cuckoo clock!"
Orson
Welles
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 16 Mai 2005
As the holidays approach, my heartfelt
appreciation goes out to all of you who
have taken the time and trouble to send
me forwards over the past 12 months.
Thank you for making me feel safe,
secure, blessed, and wealthy.
Extra thanks to whoever sent me the
one about rat crap in the glue on
envelopes 'cause I now have to go get a
wet towel every time I need to seal an
envelope.
Also, I scrub
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 19 Decembrie 2005
A wife asked her husband: "What do you
like most in me, my pretty face or my
sexy body?"
He looked at her from
head to toes and replied after a pause:
"I like your sense of humor!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 10 Ianuarie 2005
I am passing this on to you because it
definitely worked for me and we all
could use more calm in our lives. By
following the simple advice I heard on a
Dr. Phil show, I have finally found
inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed, "The
way to achieve inner peace is to finish
all the things you've started." So I
looked around my house to see all the
things I started and hadn't
finished, and before
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 30 Mai 2005
There is an old story about a mother who
walks in on her six-year-old son and
finds him sobbing. "What's the matter?"
she asks.
"I've just figured out how
to tie my shoes."
"Well, honey,
that's wonderful." Being a wise mother,
she recognizes his victory in the
Eriksonian struggle of autonomy versus
doubt: "You're growing up, but why are
you crying?"
"Because," he says,
"now I'll have to do it
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 20 Aprilie 2007
A US Navy Admiral was attending a naval
conference that included 20 Admirals
from the US, English, Canadian,
Australian and French Navies.
At a
reception, he found himself standing
with a huge group of officers that
included personnel from most of the
countries.
Everyone was chatting
away in English as they sipped their
drinks, but a French admiral suddenly
complained that, whereas Europeans
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 4 Iulie 2007
An old mafia Don is dying and he calls
his grandson to the bed.
- You
lissin-a me. I wanna for you to taka my
chrome plated 38 revolver so you will
always remember me.
- But grandpa,
I really don't like guns. Howzabout you
leava me your rolex watch instead?
-
Shuddup and lissin. Somma day you gonna
runna da business, you gonna have a
beautifulla wife, lotsa money, a biga
home and maybe a
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 17 Octombrie 2005
Hung Chow calls work and says:
-
Hey, boss I no come work today, I really
sick. I got headache, stomach ache and
my legs hurt, I no come work.
The
boss says:
- You know Hung Chow, I
really need you today. When I feel like
that I go to my wife and tell her to
sing for me. That makes everything
better and I go work. You try that.
Two hours later Hung Chow calls
again:
- Boss, I do what you say
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 16 Martie 2005
One night while I was cat-sitting my
daughter's indoor feline, it escaped
outside. When it failed to return the
following morning, I found the beast
clinging to a branch about 30 feet up in
a spindly tree. Unable to lure it down,
I called the fire department.
"We
don't do that anymore," the woman
dispatcher said. When I persisted, she
was polite but firm. "The cat will come
down when it gets
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 30 Ianuarie 2007
The man told his doctor that he wasn't
able to do all the things around the
house that he used to do. When the
examination was complete, he said:
-
Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in
plain English what is wrong with me.
- Well, in plain English, the doctor
replied, you're just lazy.
- Okay,
said the man. Now give me the medical
term so I can tell my wife.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Iunie 2011
George Bush is visiting the Queen of
England. He asks her, "Your Majesty, how
do you run such an efficient government?
Are there any tips you can give me?"
"Well," says the Queen, "the
most important thing is to surround
yourself with intelligent people.
"Bush frowns. "But how do I know the
people around me are really
intelligent?"
The Queen takes a
sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy. You just
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 14 Iulie 2006
A soldier stationed in Iraq recently
received a "Dear John" letter from his
girlfriend back home. It read as
follows:
Dear Ricky,
I can
no longer continue our relationship. The
distance between us is just too great. I
must admit that I have cheated on you
twice, since you've been gone, and
it's not fair to either of us.
I'm sorry.
Please return the
picture of me that I sent to
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 10 Iunie 2005
WORDS
A husband read an article to
his wife about how many words women use
a day: 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The
wife replied, 'The reason has to be
because we have to repeat everything to
men...
The husband then turned to
his wife and asked, 'What?'
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 30 Mai 2010