What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? Answer: It's Christmas, Eve!
propus: 14 Nov 2011
A Polish man moved to the USA and
married an American girl. Although his
English was far from perfect, they got
along very well until one day he rushed
into a lawyer's office and asked him if
he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a
divorce would depend on the
circumstances, and asked him the
following questions:
- Have you any
grounds?
- Yes, an acre and half and
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 16 Ianuarie 2007
WORDS
A husband read an article to
his wife about how many words women use
a day: 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The
wife replied, 'The reason has to be
because we have to repeat everything to
men...
The husband then turned to
his wife and asked, 'What?'
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 30 Mai 2010
An engineer was crossing a road one-day
when a frog called out to him and said:
- If you kiss me, I'll turn into
a beautiful princess.
He bent over,
picked up the frog and put it in his
pocket.
The frog spoke up again and
said:
- If you kiss me and turn me
back into a beautiful princess, I will
stay with you for one week.
The
engineer took the frog out of his
pocket, smiled at it and
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005
I went to the cinema the other day and
in the front row was an old man and with
him was his dog. It was a sad funny kind
of film, you know the type. In the sad
part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in
the funny part, the dog laughed its head
off. This happened all the way through
the film. After the film had ended, I
decided to go and speak to the man:
- That's the most amazing thing I've
seen,
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 14 Noiembrie 2011
A woman goes into a department store and
tells the salesman she wants a pair of
pink curtains. He assures her they have
a good selection of pink curtains. He
shows her many kinds and different
fabrics of curtains she finally picks
out a pink floral pattern.
The
salesman asks, "What size do you need?"
She says, "15 inch."
He
exclaims, "15 INCHES! What room are they
for?"
She says, "It's not
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 24 Noiembrie 2005
All the scientists die and go to heaven.
They decide to play hide-n-seek.
Unfortunately Einstein is the one who
has the den. He is supposed to count up
to 100 and then start searching.
Everyone starts hiding except Newton.
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter
and stands in it right in front of
Einstein. Einstein's counting:
1,2,3..97,98,99,100.
He opens his
eyes and finds Newton standing in
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Septembrie 2005
Students at a school were asked to write
about the harmful effects of oil on
fish.
One 11-year-old wrote, "When
my mom opened a tin of sardines last
night, it was full of oil and all the
sardines were dead."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 4 Mai 2007
A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow
of silence: he is allowed to say two
words every seven years.
After the
first seven years, the elders bring him
in and ask for his two words. "Cold
floors," he says. They nod and send him
away.
Seven more years pass. They
bring him back in and ask for his two
words. He clears his throats and says,
"Bad food." They nod and send him away.
Seven more years
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006
I was out walking with my 4 year old
daughter. She picked up something off
the ground and started to put it in her
mouth. I took the item away from her and
I asked her not to do that. "Why?" my
daughter asked. "Because it's been on
the ground, you don't know where it's
been, it'sdirty and probably has germs"
I replied. At this point, my daughter
looked at me with total admiration and
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 22 Martie 2007
A man walks along a lonely beach.
Suddenly he hears a deep voice: DIG!
He looks around; nobody's there. "I
am having hallucinations," he thinks.
Then he hears the voice again: I SAID,
DIG!
So he starts to dig in the sand
with his bare hands, and after a bit, he
finds a small chest with a rusty lock.
The deep voice says: OPEN!
OK,
the man thinks, let's open the thing. He
finds a rock with
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 18 Aprilie 2008
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence
starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say,
'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am
the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 26 Noiembrie 2008
An eighteen-year-old girl tells her Mom
that she has missed her period for two
months. Very worried, the mother goes to
the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit.
The test result shows that the girl is
pregnant.
Shouting, crying, the
mother says, "Who did this to you? I
want to know!"
The girl picks up the
phone and makes a call. Half an hour
later a Ferrari stops in front of their
house; a mature
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004
On the first day of school, the teacher
asked a student:
- What are your
parents' names?
The student replied:
- My father's name is Laughing and
my mother's name is Smiling.
The
teacher said:
- Are you kidding?
The student said:
- No, Kidding
is my brother. I am Joking.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 19 Martie 2015