What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? Answer: It's Christmas, Eve!
Banc din categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
propus: 14 Nov 2011
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
banc precedent See if you can do this. Read each line aloud. This is this cat This is is cat This is how cat This is to cat This is keep cat This is a cat This is dumbass cat [...]
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Despite the old saying, "Don't take your troubles to bed", many men still sleep with their wives! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004
A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.
A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.
A simple friend doesn't know your parents'
first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 5 Mai 2005
The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items.
I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, his bony arm across the back of my seat. I hadn't considered the drive across town. At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became obvious, and I looked across and explained, "I'm delivering him to my ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 Octombrie 2006
Woman = Time * Money Time = Money
Woman = Money * Money
Money = root of all problems
Woman = Problems. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sambata, 14 Iulie 2007
Robert went to his lawyer and said:
- I would like to make a will, but I don't know exactly how to go about it.
The lawyer smiled at Robert and replied:
- Not a problem, leave it all to me.
Robert looked somewhat upset and said:
- Well, I knew you were going to take a big portion, but I would like to leave a little to my family too! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 Iunie 2011
See if you can do this. Read each line aloud.
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now go back and read the THIRD word
in each line from the top.
Betcha you can't resist passing it on. LOL! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 21 Noiembrie 2011
A couple had only been married for two weeks and the husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.
So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."
"Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face," he answered. I'm going to have a beer."
The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 August 2007
On a sunny morning, William's mother came into her son's room and said, "William, it's Sunday. Time to get up! Time to get up and go to church! Get up!"
From under the covers came mumbles, "I don't want to go!"
"What do you mean?" she said. "That's silly! Now get up and get dressed and go to church!"
"No!" he shot back. "I'll give you two reasons. I don't like them and they don't like ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sambata, 14 Iulie 2007
Two lawyers arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat.
Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, 'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!'
The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 Iunie 2011
These individual quotes were reportedly taken from actual employee performance evaluations throughout the U.S. Hopefully, none of us will be seeing similar ones on ours.
- Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
- His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.
- I would not allow this employee to breed.
- This employee is really not ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 22 Septembrie 2006
This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas. They hired him because he was so funny.
- - - - - - - - - - -
NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Bastard)
SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 21 Noiembrie 2006
Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border.
The Italian Customs Officer stops them and tells them:
- It's a illegala to put a cinque people in a Quattro.
- Vot do you mean it's illegal? asks the German driver.
- Quattro meansa four, replies the Italian official.
- Quattro is just ze name of ze automobile!, the German says unbelievingly. Look at ze dam papers: ze car is ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 26 Ianuarie 2006
Subject on a math test... Solve the problem: find x on the triangle.
Answer: see for yourself!! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 3 Octombrie 2005
Man: God?
God: Yes!?
Man: Can I ask you something?
God: Yes.
Man: What is for you a million of years?
God: A second.
Man: And a million of dollars?
God: A penny.
Man: God, Can you give me a penny?
God: Wait a second! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 27 Octombrie 2005
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed, and left for dead. She described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the drama. Then she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 2 Mai 2007