A man follows a woman out of a movie theatre. She has a dog on a leash. He stops her and says, I'm sorry to bother you, but I...
Banc din categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
propus: 18 Oct 2004
A man follows a woman out of a movie theatre. She has a dog on a leash. He stops her and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I couldn't help but notice that your dog was really into the movie. He cried at the right spots, he moved nervously in his seat at the boring parts, but most of all, he laughed like crazy at the funny parts. Did you find that unusual?"
banc precedent A man called home to his wife and said, Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to [...]
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Our pastor, an avid golfer, was once
taking part in a local tournament. As he
was preparing to tee off, the organizer
of the tournament approached him and
pointed to the dark, threatening storm
clouds that were gathering.
"Preacher," the organizer said, "I trust
you'll see to it that the weather won't
turn bad on us."
Our pastor shook his head. "Sorry," he
replied. "I'm sales, not management!" ... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 29 Octombrie 2008
You Know You Have a Bad Computer When... 10. The lower corner of screen has the words "Etch A Sketch" on it. 9. When you insert a disk, it spits out a pack of cigarettes. 8. You have to pedal it. 7. The manual contains one sentence: "Good luck!" 6. The only chip inside came from a bag of Doritos. 5. When you turn it on, the dogs in the neighborhood start howling. 4. You catch a virus from it. 3. ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 20 August 2007
An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas. Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?" Margaret looked him over.. "Nope." Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 27 Ianuarie 2009
There is an old story about a mother who walks in on her six-year-old son and finds him sobbing. "What's the matter?" she asks. "I've just figured out how to tie my shoes." "Well, honey, that's wonderful." Being a wise mother, she recognizes his victory in the Eriksonian struggle of autonomy versus doubt: "You're growing up, but why are you crying?" "Because," he says, "now I'll have to do it ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 20 Aprilie 2007
- Are you sure this is british beef? - Of horse it is! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 18 Aprilie 2013
A cowboy went to an insurance agency to buy a policy. The agent asked, "Have you ever had an accident?" "Nope," replied the cowboy. "Last summer, a bronc kicked in two of my ribs, and a couple of years ago, a rattlesnake bit me on the ankle." "Wouldn't you call those accidents?" quizzed the puzzled agent. "Naw," the cowboy replied. "They did it on purpose!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 15 Noiembrie 2006
Q: How can you tell an extroverted mathematician? A: He stares at YOUR shoes while talking to you. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 30 Aprilie 2008
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 6 Octombrie 2006
FINAL EXAM The student reports for his university final examination that consists of yes/no type questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit of inspiration, takes out a coin and starts tossing it, marking the answer sheet: Yes, for Heads, and! No, for Tails. Within half an hour he is all done, whereas the rest of the ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 31 August 2004
Two lawyers arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat. Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, 'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!' The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 Iunie 2011
A man called home to his wife and said, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box? We're leaving from the office & I will swing by the house to pick my ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aodccrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dnsoe't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 10 Noiembrie 2004
The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, his bony arm across the back of my seat. I hadn't considered the drive across town. At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became obvious, and I looked across and explained, "I'm delivering him to my ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 31 Octombrie 2006
A dog walks into an employment agency and says: - I'd like to get a job please. The guy at the employment agency says: - Wow, you could easily get a job at the circus, with your talents! The dog replys: - What would the circus want with a plumber? ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 19 Noiembrie 2013
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said: - Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again. To which the gentleman ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 19 Noiembrie 2013