Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A: Breasts don't have eyes.......
propus: 18 Oct 2004
Phrases For Your "Out-Of-The-Office"
- I am
currently out at a job interview and
will reply to you if I fail to get the
position. Be prepared for my mood.
- I'm not really out of the
office. I'm just ignoring you.
- You are receiving this automatic
notification because I am out of the
office. If I was in, chances are you
wouldn't have received anything at ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004
How to avoid the flu
Make sure you get your daily dose of
fruits and veggies.
vitamins and bump up your vitamin C.
Get plenty of exercise because
exercise helps build your immune system.
Walk for at least hour a day, go for
a swim, take the stairs instead of the
Wash your hands
often. If you can't wash them, keep
a bottle of antibacterial stuff ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 21 Ianuarie 2005
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing
problems for a number of years. He went
to the doctor and the doctor was able to
have him fitted for a set of hearing
aids that allowed the gentleman to hear
The elderly gentleman
went back in a month to the doctor and
the doctor said:
- Your hearing is
perfect. Your family must be really
pleased that you can hear again.
To which the gentleman ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 19 Noiembrie 2013
1. Enter any
11-digit prime number to continue.
2. Press any key to continue or any
other key to quit.
3. Bad command or
file name! Go stand in the corner.
4. This will end your Windows
session. Do you want to play another
5. Windows message: "Error
saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)"
6. To "shut down" your system, type
7. BREAKFAST.SYS halted...
Cereal port ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 10 Noiembrie 2004
A Spanish teacher was explaining to her
class that in Spanish, unlike English,
nouns are designated as either masculine
"House" for instance,
is feminine: "la casa."
however, is masculine: "el lapiz."
student asked, "What gender is
Instead of giving the
answer, the teacher split the class into
two groups, male and female, and asked
them to decide for ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 5 Iunie 2007
All the scientists die and go to heaven.
They decide to play hide-n-seek.
Unfortunately Einstein is the one who
has the den. He is supposed to count up
to 100 and then start searching.
Everyone starts hiding except Newton.
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter
and stands in it right in front of
Einstein. Einstein's counting:
He opens his
eyes and finds Newton standing in ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Septembrie 2005
George B.: Condi! Nice to see you.
Sir, I have the report here about the
new leader of China.
Great. Lay it on me.
Hu is the new leader of China.
George B.: That's what I want to
Condoleeza R.: That's what I'm
George B.: That's what
I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of
Condoleeza R.: Yes.
George B.: I ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 12 Septembrie 2006
Manning the computer help desk for the
local school district was my first job.
And though I was just an intern, I took
the job very seriously. But not every
caller took me seriously.
- Can I
talk to a real person? a caller asked.
- I am real, I said.
- Oh, I'm
sorry, the caller said. That was rude of
me. What I meant to say was, could I
talk to someone who actually knows
something? ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 14 Martie 2008
Last night I went to a 24-hour grocery.
When I got there, the guy was locking
the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign
says you're open 24 hours." He goes:
"Not in a row!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006
Explicatii de dat atunci cand nu va merg
aplicatiile si programele.
19. "It's never
done that before."
18. "It worked
17. "How is that
16. "It must be a
15. "What did you
type in wrong to get it to crash?"
14. "There is something funky in
13. "I haven't touched
that module in weeks!"
12. ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 28 Noiembrie 2006
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence
starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say,
MILLIE: All right... 'I am
the ninth letter of the alphabet.' ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 26 Noiembrie 2008
A pickpocket was appearing in court for
a series of petty crimes. "Mr.
Brewster," the judge said, "you are
hereby found guilty and fined the sum of
After consulting with his
client, Mr. Brewster's lawyer stood up
and said, "Your Honor, my client is a
little short at this time. He has only
$125 in his pocket, but if you would
allow him a few minutes in the crowd..." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Martie 2007
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful
daughters but always talked about having
a son. They decided to try one last time
for the son they always wanted.
wife got pregnant and delivered a
healthy baby boy. The joyful father
rushed to the nursery to see his new
son. He was horrified at the ugliest
child he had ever seen.
He told his
'There's no way I can be the
father of this baby. ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 3 Iunie 2008
My wife's family and I were at a Harding
University football game. Every time
someone carried the ball or made a
tackle, the announcer would broadcast
who had made the play.
beginning of the third quarter after the
announcer called a play, my niece,
Madison, looked up at my wife and
innocently asked, "Is that God talking?" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 22 Noiembrie 2006