WIFE VS. HUSBAND A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an...
propus: 30 Mai 2010
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down
a country road for several miles, not
saying a word.
An earlier discussion
had led to an argument and neither of
them wanted to concede their position..
As they passed a barnyard of mules,
goats, and pigs, the husband asked
sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box [...]
banc precedent WORDS A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day: 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything [...]
banc următor
My wife's family and I were at a Harding
University football game. Every time
someone carried the ball or made a
tackle, the announcer would broadcast
who had made the play.
Near the beginning of the third quarter
after the announcer called a play, my
niece, Madison, looked up at my wife and
innocently asked, "Is that God talking?"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 22 Noiembrie 2006
If you love something, set it free. If
it comes back, itwill always be yours.
If it doesn't come back, it was never
yours to begin with. But, if it just
sits in your living room, messes up your
stuff, eats your food, uses your
telephone, takes your money, and doesn't
appear to realize that you had set it
free... You either married it or gave
birth to it
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 9 August 2007
Students at a school were asked to write
about the harmful effects of oil on
fish.
One 11-year-old wrote, "When my mom
opened a tin of sardines last night, it
was full of oil and all the sardines
were dead."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 4 Mai 2007
A new young bride calls her mother in
tears.
She sobs:
- Robert doesn't appreciate what I
do for him.
- Now, now,. ..her mother comforted, I
am sure it was all just a
misunderstanding.
- No, mother, you don't understand.
I bought a frozen turkey roll and he
yelled and screamed at me about the
price!
- Well, the nerve of that lousy
cheapskate! says her mom. Those turkey
rolls are only a
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 12 Aprilie 2005
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN
DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY
WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Tran substantiate
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO
SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. No thanks, I'm married.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you're not really
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 22 Mai 2008
A simple friend, when visiting, acts
like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator
and helps himself.
A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from
your tears.
A simple friend doesn't know your
parents'
first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in
his address book.
A simple friend brings a bottle of wine
to your party.
A real friend comes
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 5 Mai 2005
There are 2 people always next to you:
The Manager, smiling pleasantly to hide
evil intentions!
The Team Leader, busy figuring out what
work to dump on you next...
And, there's YOU, who struggles with it
all!
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminică, 22 Iunie 2008
- Pythagorean theorem: 24 words.
- The Lord's Prayer: 66 words.
- Archimedes' Principle: 67 words.
- The 10 Commandments: 179 words.
- The Gettysburg address: 286 words.
- The Declaration of Independence: 1,300
words.
- - - The US Government regulations on
the sale of cabbage: 26,911 words!!! - -
-
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 10 Aprilie 2007
A baby polar bear comes up to his mother
and asks, "Momma, am I a polar bear?"
"Why, yes, son, of course you are a
polar bear," she replies, sending him
out to play.
Several minutes later, he returns.
"Momma, are you absolutely sure I am a
polar bear?"
"Yes, son, absolutely sure. Now go and
play."
Several minutes later, he returns
asking, "Momma, you're sure I'm 100%
polar bear?"
"Yes, son,
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 13 August 2008