WIFE VS. HUSBAND A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an...

News from Heaven: Due to the current financial crisis facing the world at the moment, the light at the end of the tunnel will be switched off to save on electricity costs, until further notice. Sincerely yours, God ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 21 Noiembrie 2008

Man: God? God: Yes!? Man: Can I ask you something? God: Yes. Man: What is for you a million of years? God: A second. Man: And a million of dollars? God: A penny. Man: God, Can you give me a penny? God: Wait a second! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 27 Octombrie 2005

- What is the longest word in the English language? - It is the word "smiles", because there is a mile between the first letter and the last! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminică, 20 Octombrie 2013

Little Logan and his family were having Thanksgiving dinner at his grandmother's house. Everyone was seated round the table as the food was being served. When little Logan received his plate, he started eating right away. - Logan, wait until we say our prayer, his mother reminded him. - I don't need to, the little boy replied. - Of course you do! his mother insisted, We say a prayer before eating ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 21 Noiembrie 2006

A young lady visited the government matchmaker for marriage and requested: "I'm looking for a spouse. Can you please help me to find a suitable one?" The marriage officer said: "Your requirements please." "Well, let me see. Needs to be good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 27 August 2007

Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan asked "Why"? A: The animals told him. Your tail is in front". ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Februarie 2007

A young husband comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "Darling, I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody." The next day, a guy from the electric company rings the door-bell, because the young couple hasn't paid their last bill: ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 31 August 2004

Three kids come down to the kitchen and sit around the breakfast table. The mother asks the oldest boy what he would like to eat. - I would have some ****** French toast, he says. The mother is outraged at his language and sends him upstairs. She asks the middle child what he wants. - Well, I guess that leaves more ******* French toast for me, he says. She is livid and sends him away. Finally she ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006

A clergyman, walking down a country lane, saw a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off. - You look tired, my son, said the cleric. Why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand. - No thanks, said the young man. My father wouldn't approve. - Don't be silly, the minister said. Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water. Again the ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 3 Mai 2007

A man called home to his wife and said, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box? We're leaving from the office & I will swing by the house to pick my ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004

Heaven is where the police are British, the chefs Italian, the mechanics German, the lovers French and it is all organized by the Swiss. Hell is where police are German, the chefs British, the mechanics French, the lovers Swiss and it is all organized by the Italians. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 29 Noiembrie 2005

Problem: Expand expression (a+b)n See for yourself what solution our student has found. ... Also our teacher's comment, written with red. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 17 August 2006

Robert went to his lawyer and said: - I would like to make a will, but I don't know exactly how to go about it. The lawyer smiled at Robert and replied: - Not a problem, leave it all to me. Robert looked somewhat upset and said: - Well, I knew you were going to take a big portion, but I would like to leave a little to my family too! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 Iunie 2011

"Our five senses are incomplete without the sixth: sense of humor." Anonymous ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 16 Mai 2005

A man called 911 and said, "Someone come quick! My wife fell asleep on the couch with her mouth open and a mouse ran down her throat!" The operator replied, "Calm down, sir. Wave a piece of cheese over her mouth and maybe the mouse will come out. An ambulance is on the way." When the ambulance arrived, the EMT found the man waving a fish over his wife's mouth. "What on earth are you doing?" ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 13 August 2008