WIFE VS. HUSBAND A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an...
propus: 30 Mai 2010
WIFE VS. HUSBAND CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box [...]
A couple drove down
a country road for several miles, not
saying a word.
An earlier discussion
had led to an argument and neither of
them wanted to concede their position..
As they passed a barnyard of mules,
goats, and pigs, the husband asked
sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'
banc precedent WORDS A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day: 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything [...]
One sunny day in 2005 an old man
approached the White House from across
Pennsylvania Ave, where he'd been
sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the
US Marine standing guard and said, "I
would like to go in and meet with
The Marine looked
at the man and said, "Sir, Mr. Bush is
no longer president and no longer
resides here." The old man said, "Okay"
and walked away.
The following ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 24 Noiembrie 2005
Before I lay me down
I pray for a man,
who's not a creep,
handsome, smart and strong
loves to listen long,
One who thinks
before he speaks,
call, not wait for weeks.
he's gainfully employed,
spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my
Massages me back and begs to
do ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 23 August 2005
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S
I know I'm not going to
understand how you can take boiling hot
wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip
the hair out by the root, and still be
afraid of a spider. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 13 Mai 2010
I am not sure exactly how this works,
but this is amazingly accurate.
picture below has two identical dolphins
in it. It was used in a case study on
stress levels at the Mayo Clinic and
later at Fletcher Medical Center in
Look at both dolphins
jumping out of the water. The dolphins
are identical. A closely monitored,
scientific study revealed that, in spite
of the fact that ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 25 Martie 2008
A mother and a daughter are shopping in
the mall, when the mother eyes an
expensive fur coat.
"This year," she
says, "I think that I will buy my
present instead of making you and Dad
shop for me." The daughter nods in
agreement. "And I think this fur coat
would be perfect too."
protests, "But Mom, some helpless, poor
creature has to suffer so that you can
"Don't worry, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 7 Februarie 2008
Amazingly simple home remedies:
Avoid cutting yourself when slicing
vegetables by getting someone else to
hold the vegetables while you chop.
2. Avoid arguments with the females
about lifting the toilet seat by using
3. For high blood pressure
sufferers: Simply cut yourself and bleed
for a few minutes, thus reducing the
pressure on your veins. Remember to use
4. A mouse ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 9 Noiembrie 2008
A cowboy went to an insurance agency to
buy a policy. The agent asked, "Have you
ever had an accident?"
replied the cowboy. "Last summer, a
bronc kicked in two of my ribs, and a
couple of years ago, a rattlesnake bit
me on the ankle."
"Wouldn't you call
those accidents?" quizzed the puzzled
"Naw," the cowboy replied.
"They did it on purpose!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 15 Noiembrie 2006
A US Navy Admiral was attending a naval
conference that included 20 Admirals
from the US, English, Canadian,
Australian and French Navies.
reception, he found himself standing
with a huge group of officers that
included personnel from most of the
Everyone was chatting
away in English as they sipped their
drinks, but a French admiral suddenly
complained that, whereas Europeans ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 4 Iulie 2007
When the new patient was settled
comfortably on the couch, the
psychiatrist began his therapy session.
"I'm not aware of your problem," the
doctor said. "So perhaps, you should
start at the very beginning."
course," replied the patient. "In the
beginning, I created the heavens and the
earth..." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 19 Iulie 2007
I went to the cinema the other day and
in the front row was an old man and with
him was his dog. It was a sad funny kind
of film, you know the type. In the sad
part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in
the funny part, the dog laughed its head
off. This happened all the way through
the film. After the film had ended, I
decided to go and speak to the man:
- That's the most amazing thing I've
seen, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 14 Noiembrie 2011
A man walks along a lonely beach.
Suddenly he hears a deep voice: DIG!
He looks around; nobody's there. "I
am having hallucinations," he thinks.
Then he hears the voice again: I SAID,
So he starts to dig in the sand
with his bare hands, and after a bit, he
finds a small chest with a rusty lock.
The deep voice says: OPEN!
the man thinks, let's open the thing. He
finds a rock with ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 18 Aprilie 2008
Explicatii de dat atunci cand nu va merg
aplicatiile si programele.
19. "It's never
done that before."
18. "It worked
17. "How is that
16. "It must be a
15. "What did you
type in wrong to get it to crash?"
14. "There is something funky in
13. "I haven't touched
that module in weeks!"
12. ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 28 Noiembrie 2006
A wife asked her husband: "What do you
like most in me, my pretty face or my
He looked at her from
head to toes and replied after a pause:
"I like your sense of humor!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 10 Ianuarie 2005
A husband and his wife had a bitter
quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding
The husband yells,
"When you die, I'm getting you a
headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My
Wife - Cold As Ever'."
she replies, "When you die, I'm
getting you a headstone that reads:
'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At
Last.'" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 9 Iunie 2005
Subject: Geography lesson for the Day
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
Between 18 and 20 a woman is
like Africa, half discovered, half wild,
naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.
Between 21 and 30 a woman is
like America, well-developed and open to
trade, especially for someone with cash.
Between 31 and 35 she is like
India, very hot, relaxed and
convinced of her own beauty.
Between ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 10 Noiembrie 2004