WIFE VS. HUSBAND A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an...

A man is walking along a cliff and all of a sudden loses his balance, slips, and falls off. Fortunately, he has the presence of mind to grab on to the edge, and he's hanging there for dear life. He hangs and hangs an finally yells out: "Is there anybody up there who can help me?"
There's no answer.
He keeps calling and calling. "Is there anybody up there who can help me?".
Finally this big ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 20 August 2007

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: This is her husband! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 12 Aprilie 2007

In order to assure the highest level of quality work and productivity from employees it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T) ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 19 Iulie 2007

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant.
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant.
Panic is when both are pregnant. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 1 Martie 2005

My grandmother is a computer geek. She also has trouble remembering quickly sometimes. One day she couldn't think of what she wanted to tell us.
Mom explained, "Your grandma is trying to retrieve the information, but it is taking awhile. Evidently she hasn't defragmented her hard drive lately." ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 8 Octombrie 2007

A clergyman, walking down a country lane, saw a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off.
- You look tired, my son, said the cleric. Why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand.
- No thanks, said the young man. My father wouldn't approve.
- Don't be silly, the minister said. Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water.
Again ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 3 Mai 2007

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why? ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 12 Aprilie 2007

Why did the woman cross the Road?

Never mind that - what I would like to know is what she was doing out of the kitchen, in the first place! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 19 Noiembrie 2013

3 Little Pigs - The Untold Story

This is classic - a true story, proving how fascinating is the mind of a six year old. They think so logically.

A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home. She read, "...and so the pig went up to the man with the ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004

An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas.
Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.
Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"
Margaret looked him over.. "Nope."
Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 27 Ianuarie 2009

A guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one spend eternity in.
In the first room, people are standing in shit up to their necks. The guy says "no, let me see the next room."
In the second room, people are standing with shit up to their noses. Guy says no again.
Finally, Satan opens the door to the third room. People are standing ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006

To do is to be. Socrate
To be is to do. Aristotel
Do be do be do. Sinatra ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 19 Decembrie 2005

Queen Elizabeth II, George W Bush & Traian Basescu died & went straight to hell.

Queen Elizabeth II said "I miss Britain, I want to call Britain and see how everybody is doing there. She called and talked for about 5 minutes, then her Majesty asked "Well, Devil how much do I owe you? The devil replied "Five million dollars" She wrote him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair.

George ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 27 Octombrie 2006

Statement: Senior Citizens Are Valuable!
We are more valuable than any of the younger generations:
- We have silver in our hair.
- We have gold in our teeth.
- We have stones in our kidneys.
- We have lead in our feet and.
- We are loaded with natural gas ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 26 Februarie 2008

Man: God?
God: Yes!?
Man: Can I ask you something?
God: Yes.
Man: What is for you a million of years?
God: A second.
Man: And a million of dollars?
God: A penny.
Man: God, Can you give me a penny?
God: Wait a second! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 27 Octombrie 2005