Woman's revenge... - Cash, check or charge? I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her...
propus: 7 Mai 2010
Two women came before wise King Solomon,
dragging between them a young man in a
"This young lawyer
agreed to marry my daughter," said one.
"No! He agreed to marry MY
daughter," said the other.
they haggled before the king until he
called for silence.
"Bring me my
biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I
shall hew the young attorney in half.
Each of you shall receive a ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 17 Octombrie 2006
The Pentagon announced TODAY the
formation of a new 500-man elite
fighting unit called the United States
Redneck Special Forces (USRSF).
These boys will be dropped off in
Iraq and have been given only the
following facts about terrorists:
The season opened today.
2. There is
3. They taste just like
4. They don't like beer,
pickups, country music or Jesus.
They are ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 13 Martie 2008
European Commission has just announced
an agreement whereby English will be the
official language of the European Union
rather than German, which was the other
As part of the
negotiations, the British Government
conceded that English spelling had some
room for improvement and has accepted a
5- year phase-in plan that would become
known as "Euro-English".
first year, "s" will ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 5 Aprilie 2006
About five years ago, the battery in my
beat-up VW Beetle had died because I
left the lights on overnight. I was in a
hurry to get to work on time, so I ran
into the house to get my wife to give me
a hand in starting the car.
told her to get into our second car, a
prehistoric oversized gas guzzler, and
use it to push my car fast enough to
start it. I pointed out to her that
because the VW ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 18 Ianuarie 2008
A simple friend, when visiting, acts
like a guest.
A real friend opens
your refrigerator and helps himself.
A simple friend has never seen
A real friend has shoulders
soggy from your tears.
friend doesn't know your
friend has their phone numbers in his
A simple friend
brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 5 Mai 2005
Last night I went to a 24-hour grocery.
When I got there, the guy was locking
the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign
says you're open 24 hours." He goes:
"Not in a row!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006
A blonde at the grocery store:
would like 4 tomatoes, 4 potatoes and 4
- I can help you with the
tomatoes and the potatoes, but not with
- Ok... than I'll
have 2 tomatoes, 2 potatoes and 2
- I see you don't understand
me: I have tomatoes, I have potatoes,
but I have no onions.
- I see...
then I'll have a tomato, a potato and an
- Ok, let's do this ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sambata, 14 Iulie 2007
The blonde reports
for her university final examination
that consists of yes/no type questions.
She takes her seat in the examination
hall, stares at the question paper for
five minutes and then, in a fit of
inspiration, takes out her purse,
removes a coin and starts tossing the
coin, marking the answer sheet: Yes, for
Heads, and! No, for Tails. Within half
an hour she is all ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004
Tom Thumb, Sleeping Beauty, and
Quasimodo were all talking one day.
Sleeping Beauty said:
believe myself to be the most beautiful
girl in the world.
Tom Thumb said:
- I must be the smallest person in
absolutely have to be the ugliest person
in the world.
They decided to
go to the Guinness Book of World Records
to have their claims verified.
Sleeping ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 15 Martie 2005
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in
the Caribbean. The lawyer said:
here because my house burned down, and
everything I owned was destroyed by the
fire. The insurance company paid for
"That's quite a
coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm
here because my house and all my
belongings were destroyed by a flood,
and my insurance company also paid for
The lawyer ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 4 Aprilie 2007
A blonde woman goes into a department
store and tells the salesman she wants a
pair of pink curtains. He assures her
they have a good selection of pink
curtains. He shows her many kinds and
different fabrics of curtains she
finally picks out a pink floral pattern.
The salesman asks, "What size do you
She says, "15 inch."
exclaims, "15 INCHES! What room are they
She says, "It's ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 24 Noiembrie 2005
A new missionary recruit went to
Venezuela for the first time. He was
struggling with the language and didn't
understand a whole lot of what was going
on. Intending to visit one of the local
churches, he got lost, but he eventually
got back on track and found the place.
Having arrived late, the church was
already packed. The only pew left was
the one on the front row.
not to make a fool ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 21 Februarie 2007