Success is just like being pregnant. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you tried!

Banc din categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)

propus de: Simona pe data: 24 Iul 2009

Success is just like being pregnant.
Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you tried!

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD: A teacher
banc precedent
Woman's revenge... - Cash, check or charge? I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her [...]
banc urmator

Comentarii: 1

(Max. 10 de comentarii pe pagina)

Comenteaza si tu

Comentariu banc: miley jackson - 8 Nov 2009

Comentariu Super bancul!!!!!!
Cine sponsorizeaza campania familiilor de iepuri sa scrie pe addresa mea de mess.
I love Michael Jackson from the bottom of my Heart!!!!!!!!

Comenteaza si tu


A baby polar bear comes up to his mother and asks, "Momma, am I a polar bear?"
"Why, yes, son, of course you are a polar bear," she replies, sending him out to play.

Several minutes later, he returns. "Momma, are you absolutely sure I am a polar bear?"
"Yes, son, absolutely sure. Now go and play."

Several minutes later, he returns asking, "Momma, you're sure I'm 100% polar bear?"
"Yes, ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 13 August 2008


A couple was going out for the evening. They'd gotten ready, all dolled up, dog put out, etc. The taxi arrives, and as the couple start out, the dog shoots back in the house. They don't want the dog shut in the house,so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the dog out.
The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004


My girlfriend called me as she was driving to an appointment. She arrived, and I could tell from her voice that she was getting frustrated. Finally she said:
- I know I had my cell phone with me. And
now I can't find it!
I replied:
- Aren't you talking on it!?
There was a solid period of stunned silence as the reality of the situation sank in - followed by:
- You are NOT going to tell ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 1 Februarie 2008


Amazingly simple home remedies: <br>1.
Avoid cutting yourself when slicing
vegetables by getting someone else to
hold the vegetables while you chop.
<br>2. Avoid arguments with the females
about lifting ...Amazingly simple home remedies:
1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
2. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
3. For high blood pressure sufferers: Simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.
4. A mouse ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 9 Noiembrie 2008


Lady: Is this my train?
Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady: Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
Station Master: No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 27 Februarie 2007


About five years ago, the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had died because I left the lights on overnight. I was in a hurry to get to work on time, so I ran into the house to get my wife to give me a hand in starting the car.

I told her to get into our second car, a prehistoric oversized gas guzzler, and use it to push my car fast enough to start it. I pointed out to her that because the VW ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 18 Ianuarie 2008


I'm sorry that you haven't gotten much email from me lately. It's because I'm tired. For a couple years I've been blaming it on iron poor blood, lack of vitamins, dieting and a dozen other maladies. But now I found out the real reason. I'm tired because I'm overworked.
The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004


Late one night, a man walks into a dentist's surgery and says, "Excuse me, can you help me? I think I'm a moth."
Dentist: "You don't need a dentist. You need a psychiatrist."
Man: "Yes, I know."
Dentist: "So why did you come in here?"
Man: "Well, the light was on." ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 9 Mai 2007


THE WORLD'S SHORTEST FAIRY TALE:
Once upon a time a guy asked a girl: "Will you marry me?" The girl said "NO!" And the guy lived happily ever after and went fishing, hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and farted whenever he wanted.
THE END ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 16 Ianuarie 2006


An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas.
Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.
Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"
Margaret looked him over.. "Nope."
Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 27 Ianuarie 2009


1. Project Manager is a person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month.
2. Developer is a person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a baby.
3. Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks a single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.
4. Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.
5. Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 11 Aprilie 2005


A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hits Mexico. Two million Mexicans have died and over a million are injured. The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start with asking for help to rebuild.
The rest of the world is in shock.
Canada is sending troopers to help the Mexican army control the riots.
Saudi Arabia is sending oil.
Other ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 31 Mai 2006


A dog walks into an employment agency and says:
- I'd like to get a job please.
The guy at the employment agency says:
- Wow, you could easily get a job at the circus, with your talents!
The dog replys:
- What would the circus want with a plumber? ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 19 Noiembrie 2013


To do is to be. Socrate
To be is to do. Aristotel
Do be do be do. Sinatra ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 19 Decembrie 2005


A man walks into a bar and he's really pissed. The bartender gives him a drink and asks what the problem is. All he says is:
- All lawyers are assholes.
A man sitting in the corner shouts:
- I take offense to that!
The pissed off guy asks him:
- Why? Are you a lawyer?
The other replies:
- No, I'm an asshole. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 30 Iunie 2006