TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his...
propus de: Claudia pe data: 1 Mai 2009
Worst Things To Say On A First Date:
- I used to have a real bad
bedwetting problem... but the last
couple of weeks I've gotten it under
- I know we just met and
this might seem a little sudden. .. but
could I borrow five hundred dollars?
- Go ahead and Super Size - I found
spare change in the sofa today.
Something tells me that you're very
special... but with medication I can ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 14 Februarie 2007
TEACHER: George Washington not only
chopped down his father's cherry tree,
but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you
know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the
axe in his hand. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 1 Mai 2009
Bill and Diane were in a terrible
accident and Diane's face was
told Bill that they couldn't graft
any skin from her body because she was
So Bill offered to
donate some of his own skin. However,
the only skin on his body that the
doctor felt was suitable would have to
come from his buttocks.
husband and wife agreed that they would ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004
A man visited a psychiatrist to talk
about his dreams.
"Every night," the
man said, "I dream that these three
hideous monsters are sitting on the edge
of my bed, ready to attack me."
"Hmmm," said the doctor. "I feel
sure I can cure you of this problem. But
the treatment will cost you somewhere
between twenty-five and thirty thousand
"Thirty thousand dollars!"
the man gasped. "Never ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 9 Martie 2007
A new missionary recruit went to
Venezuela for the first time. He was
struggling with the language and didn't
understand a whole lot of what was going
on. Intending to visit one of the local
churches, he got lost, but he eventually
got back on track and found the place.
Having arrived late, the church was
already packed. The only pew left was
the one on the front row.
not to make a fool ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 21 Februarie 2007
Positive Thinking Poem...
Little birdy in the sky,
look up and it shits in your eye
You don't mind and you don't cry,
You just thank God that cows don't
fly... ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 10 Martie 2006
The truth about working in the IT
1. We work weird
2. They pay you to
make the client happy...
client pays a lot of money, but your
employer keeps almost every penny...
4. You are rewarded for fulfilling
the client's dreams...
friends fall apart and you end up
hanging out with people in the same
profession as you...
6. When you
have to meet the ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 27 Noiembrie 2006
When I went to lunch today, I noticed an
old lady near a park bench sobbing her
eyes out. I stopped and asked her what
She said: "I have a 22
year old husband at home. He makes love
to me every morning and then gets up and
makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit
and freshly ground coffee."
"Well, then why are you crying?"
said: "He makes me homemade soup for
lunch and my ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 24 Februarie 2005
On some air bases, the Air Force is on
one side of the field and civilian
aircraft use the other side of the
field, with the control tower in the
middle. One day the tower received a
call from an aircraft asking, "What time
The tower responded, "Who is
The aircraft replied,
"What difference does it make?"
tower replied, "It makes a lot of
difference. If it is an American ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 10 Iulie 2007
An old mafia Don is dying and he calls
his grandson to the bed.
lissin-a me. I wanna for you to taka my
chrome plated 38 revolver so you will
always remember me.
- But grandpa,
I really don't like guns. Howzabout you
leava me your rolex watch instead?
Shuddup and lissin. Somma day you gonna
runna da business, you gonna have a
beautifulla wife, lotsa money, a biga
home and maybe a ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 17 Octombrie 2005
- Pythagorean theorem: 24 words.
The Lord's Prayer: 66 words.
Archimedes' Principle: 67 words.
The 10 Commandments: 179 words.
The Gettysburg address: 286 words.
The Declaration of Independence: 1,300
- - - The US Government
regulations on the sale of cabbage:
26,911 words!!! - - - ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 10 Aprilie 2007
George Bush is visiting the Queen of
England. He asks her, "Your Majesty, how
do you run such an efficient government?
Are there any tips you can give me?"
"Well," says the Queen, "the
most important thing is to surround
yourself with intelligent people.
"Bush frowns. "But how do I know the
people around me are really
The Queen takes a
sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy. You just ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 14 Iulie 2006
An American tourist in London found
himself needing to take a leak,
something terrible. After a long search
he just couldn't find any public
bathroom to relieve himself. So he went
down one of the side streets to take
care of business. Just as he was
unzipping, a London police officer
"Look here, old chap,
what are you doing?" the officer asked."
"I'm sorry," the American ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004