TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.' MILLIE: I is.. TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.' MILLIE: All...
propus de: Claudia pe data: 26 Nov 2008
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in
the Caribbean. The lawyer said:
"I'm
here because my house burned down, and
everything I owned was destroyed by the
fire. The insurance company paid for
everything."
"That's quite a
coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm
here because my house and all my
belongings were destroyed by a flood,
and my insurance company also paid for
everything."
The lawyer
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 4 Aprilie 2007
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical
formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L
M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking
about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said
it's H to O.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 26 Noiembrie 2008
Once upon a time there were two
brothers.
One brother was very
mischievous, always getting into
trouble.
The other brother,
however, was very good. He was always
kind to animals, helped elderly
neighbors, and led an exemplary life.
As time went on, the brothers
stayed in touch but were never close.
The evil brother became a heavy
drinker and a womanizer.
The
other brother was a
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 6 Aprilie 2006
News from Apple
Apple Computers
announced today that is has developed a
computer chip that can store and play
music in women's breast implants.
The iBoob will cost between $499 and
$599.
This is considered to be
a major breakthrough, because women are
always complaining about men staring at
their breasts and not listening to them.
Thank to Apple, everyone is now
happy.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 28 Noiembrie 2007
A woman in our diet club was lamenting
that she had gained weight. She'd made
her family's favorite cake over the
weekend, she reported, and they'd eaten
half of it at dinner.
The next
day, she said, she kept staring at the
other half, until finally she cut a thin
slice for herself. One slice led to
another, and soon the whole cake was
gone.
The woman went on to tell
us how upset she was
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 2 Octombrie 2006
Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the
river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his
clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan
asked "Why"?
A: The animals told
him. Your tail is in front".
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Februarie 2007
On the first day of school, the teacher
asked a student:
- What are your
parents' names?
The student replied:
- My father's name is Laughing and
my mother's name is Smiling.
The
teacher said:
- Are you kidding?
The student said:
- No, Kidding
is my brother. I am Joking.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 19 Martie 2015
Jack, who is a smart businessman, talks
to his son
Jack: I want you to
marry a girl of my choice
Son: "I
will choose my own bride!"
Jack:
"But the girl is Bill Gates's
daughter."
Son: "Well, in that
case..."
Next Jack approaches
Bill Gates.
Jack: "I have a husband
for your daughter."
Bill Gates:
"But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Jack: "But this young man is a
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 29 Septembrie 2005
One sunny day in 2005 an old man
approached the White House from across
Pennsylvania Ave, where he'd been
sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the
US Marine standing guard and said, "I
would like to go in and meet with
President Bush."
The Marine looked
at the man and said, "Sir, Mr. Bush is
no longer president and no longer
resides here." The old man said, "Okay"
and walked away.
The following
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 24 Noiembrie 2005
A young husband comes home one night,
and his wife throws her arms around his
neck: "Darling, I have great news:
I'm a month overdue. I think
we're going to have a baby! The
doctor gave me a test today, but until
we find out for sure, we can't tell
anybody."
The next day, a guy
from the electric company rings the
door-bell, because the young couple
hasn't paid their last bill:
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004
George Bush is visiting the Queen of
England. He asks her, "Your Majesty, how
do you run such an efficient government?
Are there any tips you can give me?"
"Well," says the Queen, "the
most important thing is to surround
yourself with intelligent people.
"Bush frowns. "But how do I know the
people around me are really
intelligent?"
The Queen takes a
sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy. You just
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 14 Iulie 2006
Heaven is where the police are British,
the chefs Italian, the mechanics German,
the lovers French and it is all
organized by the Swiss.
Hell is
where police are German, the chefs
British, the mechanics French, the
lovers Swiss and it is all organized by
the Italians.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 29 Noiembrie 2005
Q: What's the difference between biology
and sociology?
A: When the baby
looks like his dad or mom, then it is
biology. When the baby looks like the
neighbour, then it is sociology.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Februarie 2007
George B.: Condi! Nice to see you.
What's happening?
Condoleeza R.:
Sir, I have the report here about the
new leader of China.
George B.:
Great. Lay it on me.
Condoleeza R.:
Hu is the new leader of China.
George B.: That's what I want to
know.
Condoleeza R.: That's what I'm
telling you.
George B.: That's what
I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of
China?
Condoleeza R.: Yes.
George B.: I
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 12 Septembrie 2006