TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' TEACHER: No, that's wrong GLENN: Maybe it is wrong,...
propus de: Claudia pe data: 26 Nov 2008

News from Heaven: Due to the current
financial crisis facing the world at the
moment, the light at the end of the
tunnel will be switched off to save on
electricity costs, until further notice.
Sincerely yours,
God
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 21 Noiembrie 2008
Late one night, a man walks into a
dentist's surgery and says, "Excuse me,
can you help me? I think I'm a moth."
Dentist: "You don't need a dentist.
You need a psychiatrist."
Man: "Yes,
I know."
Dentist: "So why did you
come in here?"
Man: "Well, the light
was on."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 9 Mai 2007
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus
stop with their 9 children. A blind man
joins them after a few minutes. When the
bus arrives, they find it overloaded and
only the wife and the 9 kids are able to
fit onto the bus.
So the
husband and the blind man decide to
walk. After a while, the husband gets
irritated by the ticking of the stick of
the blind man as he taps it on the
sidewalk, and says
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 5 Octombrie 2006
A property manager of an apartment
complex was showing a unit to
prospective tenants and asking the usual
questions.
"Professionally
employed?" he asked.
"We're a
military family," the wife answered.
"Children?"
"Oh, yes, ages nine
and twelve," she answered proudly.
"Animals?"
"Oh, no," she said
earnestly. "They're very well behaved."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 23 Aprilie 2008
A soldier stationed in Iraq recently
received a "Dear John" letter from his
girlfriend back home. It read as
follows:
Dear Ricky,
I can
no longer continue our relationship. The
distance between us is just too great. I
must admit that I have cheated on you
twice, since you've been gone, and
it's not fair to either of us.
I'm sorry.
Please return the
picture of me that I sent to
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 10 Iunie 2005
A blonde woman goes into a department
store and tells the salesman she wants a
pair of pink curtains. He assures her
they have a good selection of pink
curtains. He shows her many kinds and
different fabrics of curtains she
finally picks out a pink floral pattern.
The salesman asks, "What size do you
need?"
She says, "15 inch."
He
exclaims, "15 INCHES! What room are they
for?"
She says, "It's
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 24 Noiembrie 2005
Thoughts from USA...
(1) Zero
Gravity
When NASA first started
sending up astronauts, they quickly
discovered that ball-point pens would
not work in zero gravity. To combat this
problem, NASA scientists spent a decade
and $12 billion developing a pen that
writes in zero gravity, upside-down, on
almost any surface including glass and
at temperatures ranging from below
freezing to over 300
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 10 Martie 2006
Jack and Max are walking from religious
service. Jack wonders whether it would
be all right to smoke while praying. Max
replies, "Why don't you ask the
Priest?" So Jack goes up to the Priest
and asks, "Priest, may I smoke while I
pray?"
But the Priest says,
"No, my son, you may not. That's
utter disrespect to our religion."
Jack goes back to his friend and
tells him what the good
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 1 Septembrie 2004
A clergyman, walking down a country
lane, saw a young farmer struggling to
load hay back onto a cart after it had
fallen off.
- You look tired, my
son, said the cleric. Why don't you rest
a moment, and I'll give you a hand.
- No thanks, said the young man. My
father wouldn't approve.
- Don't be
silly, the minister said. Everyone is
entitled to a break. Come and have a
drink of water.
Again
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 3 Mai 2007