TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America. MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered...
propus de: Claudia pe data: 26 Nov 2008
The graduate with a Science degree asks,
"Why does it work?"
with an Engineering degree asks, "How
does it work?"
The graduate with an
Accounting degree asks, "How much will
The graduate with an Arts
degree asks, "Do you want fries with
that?" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your
Caller: I heard what
sounded like gunshots coming from the
brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and
slacks, why? ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 12 Aprilie 2007
Subject: Geography lesson for the Day
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
Between 18 and 20 a woman is
like Africa, half discovered, half wild,
naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.
Between 21 and 30 a woman is
like America, well-developed and open to
trade, especially for someone with cash.
Between 31 and 35 she is like
India, very hot, relaxed and
convinced of her own beauty.
Between ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 10 Noiembrie 2004
I can't send my
salary this month, so I am sending 100
kisses. You are my sweetheart.
His wife replied back after some
days to her husband:
Thanks for your 100
kisses, I am sending the expenses
1. The Milk man agreed on 2
kisses for one month's milk.
The electricity man only agreed after 7
3. ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 13 Septembrie 2005
After buying her kids a pet hamster,
after they PROMISED they would take care
of it, Mom, as usual, ended up with the
exasperated, she asked them, "How many
times do you think that hamster would
have died if I hadn't looked after it?"
After a moment, her youngest son
replied quizzically, "Once?" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 22 August 2007
This is an actual job application that a
75 year old senior citizen submitted to
Walmart in Arkansas. They hired him
because he was so funny.
- - - - - -
- - - - -
NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy
SEX: Not lately, but I am
looking for the right woman (or at least
one who will cooperate)
POSITION: Company's President or Vice
President. But seriously, whatever's
available. If I was in ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 21 Noiembrie 2006
My girlfriend called me as she was
driving to an appointment. She arrived,
and I could tell from her voice that she
was getting frustrated. Finally she
- I know I had my cell phone
with me. And
now I can't find it!
- Aren't you talking
There was a solid period of
stunned silence as the reality of the
situation sank in - followed by:
You are NOT going to tell ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 1 Februarie 2008
I've sure gotten old. I've had two
bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, and
new knees. Fought prostate cancer and
diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear
anything quieter than a jet engine, and
take 40 different medications that make
me dizzy, winded, and subject to
blackouts. Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation; hardly feel my
hands and feet anymore. Can't remember
if I'm 85 or 92. Have ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 11 Decembrie 2006
Students at a school were asked to write
about the harmful effects of oil on
One 11-year-old wrote, "When
my mom opened a tin of sardines last
night, it was full of oil and all the
sardines were dead." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 4 Mai 2007
Bill and Diane were in a terrible
accident and Diane's face was
told Bill that they couldn't graft
any skin from her body because she was
So Bill offered to
donate some of his own skin. However,
the only skin on his body that the
doctor felt was suitable would have to
come from his buttocks.
husband and wife agreed that they would ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004
Positive Thinking Poem...
Little birdy in the sky,
look up and it shits in your eye
You don't mind and you don't cry,
You just thank God that cows don't
fly... ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 10 Martie 2006
A new store named Husband-Mart opened.
Husband-Mart is a store where women can
go and choose a husband from among many
men. The store is composed of six
floors, and the men increase in positive
attributes as the shopper ascends the
flight of stairs. There is, however, a
catch. AS you open the door to any floor
you may choose a man from that floor,
but if you go up a floor, you cannot go
back down ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 30 Noiembrie 2004