Two guys walk into a bar, separately, and have a seat at the bar. One guy notices the other has a black eye, just like...
propus de: Sabina pe data: 24 Aug 2008
Two guys walk into a bar, separately,
and have a seat at the bar. A father was trying to teach his young son the evils of alcohol. He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whiskey. The worm in the water lived, while the one in [...]
guy notices the other has a black eye,
just like him.
buddy, how’d you get your
was at the train station, and the ticket
girl was veeery hot. And instead of two
tickets to Pittsburg, I slipped and said
‘two PICKets to TITTsburg’
and she hit me square in the face. How
about you? How’d you get
similar actually! I was just having
dinner with my wife, and what I MEANT to
say was, ‘Honey, can you please
pass the salt?’ But I slipped up
and said “You, you, you ruined my
banc precedent A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drive his prize possession, even to the grocery store, which was a few blocks from the house. After she insisted, he [...]
A hamster and a rat were sitting on the
side of a swimming pool. They were
enjoying the sun. Suddenly the rat
turned to the hamster and asked him:
How come people
consider me a noisance, and you a pet?
How come people pay money to have
you, while they are trying to kill me?
How come you are considered a cute
little animal, while I am considered
creepy and disgusting?
How come you ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 Septembrie 2004
European Commission has just announced
an agreement whereby English will be the
official language of the European Union
rather than German, which was the other
As part of the
negotiations, the British Government
conceded that English spelling had some
room for improvement and has accepted a
5- year phase-in plan that would become
known as "Euro-English".
first year, "s" will ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 5 Aprilie 2006
A husband read an article to
his wife about how many words women use
a day: 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
wife replied, 'The reason has to be
because we have to repeat everything to
The husband then turned to
his wife and asked, 'What?' ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 30 Mai 2010
A boy who was a witness to a crime was
called to testify in court. He was
approached by the defense attorney who
asked, "Did anyone tell you what to say
"Yes, sir," answered the
"I thought so," said the
attorney. "Who was it?"
"And what did he tell you?"
the attorney asked accusingly.
said that the lawyers would try to get
me all tangled up, but if I ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 13 Noiembrie 2006
Depression in the age of global
outsourcing: I was feeling depressed the
other day, so I called LifeLine. They
had recently outsourced, so I was put
through to their new Call Center in
I explained that I was
feeling suicidal. They were very excited
to hear this and wanted to know if I
could drive a truck or fly an
airplane.... ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 12 Noiembrie 2007
On some air bases, the Air Force is on
one side of the field and civilian
aircraft use the other side of the
field, with the control tower in the
middle. One day the tower received a
call from an aircraft asking, "What time
The tower responded, "Who is
The aircraft replied,
"What difference does it make?"
tower replied, "It makes a lot of
difference. If it is an American ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 10 Iulie 2007
A man happens
upon a friend and sees that his friend's
car is wrecked and covered with leaves,
grass, branches, dirt, and blood. He
asks his friend, "What happened to your
"Well," the friend
responses, "I ran into a lawyer."
"OK," says the man, "that explains
the blood... But what about the leaves,
the grass, the branches, and the dirt?"
"Well, I had to chase ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 26 Septembrie 2006
In a class on abnormal psychology, the
instructor was about to introduce the
subject of manic depression.
instructor asked, "How would you
diagnose a patient who walks back and
forth, screaming at the top of his lungs
one minute, then sits in a chair weeping
uncontrollably the next?"
man in the rear raised his hand and
suggested earnestly, "A basketball
coach?" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 4 Decembrie 2006
A crew of highway maintenance workers
was sent to repair some road signs that
vandals had knocked down in a forested
area. The first one they put back up was
a symbol warning of a deer crossing.
As they moved down the road to
repair the next sign, one crew member
looked back and spotted a deer running
across the highway.
She turned to a
co-worker and said, "I wonder how long
he's been waiting ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 11 Iunie 2007
Three engineering students were gathered
together discussing the possible
designers of the human body.
said, "It was a mechanical engineer."
Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an
electrical engineer. The nervous system
has many thousands of electrical
The last one said,
"Actually it must have been a civil
engineer. Who else would run a toxic
waste ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005
A man walks into a bar and he's really
pissed. The bartender gives him a drink
and asks what the problem is. All he
- All lawyers are assholes.
A man sitting in the corner shouts:
- I take offense to that!
pissed off guy asks him:
- Why? Are
you a lawyer?
The other replies:
- No, I'm an asshole. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 30 Iunie 2006
A big earthquake with the strength of
8.1 on the Richter scale hits Mexico.
Two million Mexicans have died and over
a million are injured. The country is
totally ruined and the government
doesn't know where to start with asking
for help to rebuild.
The rest of the
world is in shock.
sending troopers to help the Mexican
army control the riots.
Arabia is sending oil.
Other ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 31 Mai 2006
When the new patient was settled
comfortably on the couch, the
psychiatrist began his therapy session.
"I'm not aware of your problem," the
doctor said. "So perhaps, you should
start at the very beginning."
course," replied the patient. "In the
beginning, I created the heavens and the
earth..." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 19 Iulie 2007