A father was trying to teach his young son the evils of alcohol. He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a...

Banc din categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)

propus: 18 Aug 2008

A father was trying to teach his young son the evils of alcohol.

He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of
whiskey. The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whiskey
curled up and died.

"All right, son," asked the father, "what does that show you?"

"Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have
worms."

A baby polar bear comes up to his mother and asks, Momma, am I a polar bear? Why, yes, son, of course you are a polar bear, she replies, sending him out to play. Several [...]
banc precedent Two guys walk into a bar, separately, and have a seat at the bar. One guy notices the other has a black eye, just like him. “Hey buddy, how’d you get your shiner?” [...]
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Q: How can you tell an extroverted mathematician? A: He stares at YOUR shoes while talking to you. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 30 Aprilie 2008


A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the gates and said: - You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking. The cat thought for a minute and then said: - All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on. God said: - Say no more. Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy pillow. A few days later, ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 30 Martie 2005


Problem: Expand expression (a+b)n See for yourself what solution our student has found. ... Also our teacher's comment, written with red.Problem: Expand expression (a+b)n See for yourself what solution our student has found. ... Also our teacher's comment, written with red. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 17 August 2006


TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD: A teacher ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 1 Mai 2009


This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format: 'Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment? 'A. It is ...This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format: "Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment? "A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. "Q. Where will the government get this money? "A. From taxpayers. "Q. So the government is giving me back my own money? "A. No, they are ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 28 Ianuarie 2009


Stephen Spielberg is casting for a new film based around the great composers. Anyway to give the film a twist and some "oomph" he decides to cast the parts to the great action heroes of today. He calls Stallone, Arnie, Bruce Willis and Seagal into his office to hear who they would like to play. - Well, started Stallone, I've always admired Mozart. I would love to play him. - Chopin has always ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 23 Noiembrie 2005


A man is waiting in line for a hit movie. Behind him are two women. The usher comes along and says that he has two seats together. Seeing the problem, the usher says to the man, "Let them go first. You wouldn't want to separate a woman from her mother, would you?" The man says, "No, sir. I did that once, and I've been sorry ever since." ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 1 Aprilie 2008


If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, itwill always be yours. If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with. But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn't appear to realize that you had set it free... You either married it or gave birth to it ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 9 August 2007


Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005


What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? Answer: It's Christmas, Eve! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 14 Noiembrie 2011


My wife's family and I were at a Harding University football game. Every time someone carried the ball or made a tackle, the announcer would broadcast who had made the play. Near the beginning of the third quarter after the announcer called a play, my niece, Madison, looked up at my wife and innocently asked, "Is that God talking?" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 22 Noiembrie 2006


Lady: Is this my train? Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company. Lady: Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi. Station Master: No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 27 Februarie 2007


The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, his bony arm across the back of my seat. I hadn't considered the drive across town. At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became obvious, and I looked across and explained, "I'm delivering him to my ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 31 Octombrie 2006


A real estate agent had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water. "That customer's going to come back here pretty mad," he said to his boss. "Should I give him his money back?" "Money back?" roared the boss. "What kind of salesman are you? Get out there and sell him a houseboat!" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Noiembrie 2006


A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells "You should have been here at 8:30!" he replies: "Why? What happened at 8:30?" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006