Two cows are conversing in a field. The first one says to the other, Have you heard about this 'mad cow disease' that is going...
propus de: Ale pe data: 23 Iul 2008
Two cows are conversing in a field. The
first one says to the other, "Have you
heard about this 'mad cow disease' that
is going around?" There are 2 people always next to you: The Manager, smiling pleasantly to hide evil intentions! The Team Leader, busy figuring out what work to dump on you next... And, there's YOU, who [...]
The second cow
responds, "Yeah, but I'm not worried
about it; I'm an airplane!"
banc precedent Sally phoned her husband, Bill, at work for a chat. I'm sorry dear, said Bill, but I'm up to my neck in work today. I don't have time to chat. Sally replied, But I've got some good news [...]
All eyes were on the radiant bride as
her father escorted her down the aisle.
They reached the altar and the waiting
groom; the bride kissed her father and
placed something in his hand. The guests
in the front pews, and the minister,
responded with ripples of laughter. As
her father gave her away in marriage,
the bride had given him back his credit
card. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 28 Noiembrie 2006
Three kids come down to the kitchen and
sit around the breakfast table. The
mother asks the oldest boy what he would
like to eat.
- I would have some
****** French toast, he says.
mother is outraged at his language, hits
him, and sends him upstairs. She asks
the middle child what he wants.
Well, I guess that leaves more *******
French toast for me, he says.
livid, smacks him, and ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006
Concerned about fitness in my middle
40s, I enrolled in an aerobics class. To
my dismay I walked into a room filled
with much younger women and decided to
combat my nervousness with humor.
"I'm here to do my postnatal
The instructor gave me
an appraising look. "How old is your
"Twenty-six," I replied. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 13 Februarie 2008
An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert,
moved to Texas.
Bert always wanted a
pair of authentic cowboy boots, so,
seeing some on sale, he bought them and
wore them home.
Walking proudly, he
sauntered into the kitchen and said to
his wife, "Notice anything different
Margaret looked him
stormed off into the bathroom, undressed
and walked back into the ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 27 Ianuarie 2009
Jack and Max are walking from religious
service. Jack wonders whether it would
be all right to smoke while praying. Max
replies, "Why don't you ask the
Priest?" So Jack goes up to the Priest
and asks, "Priest, may I smoke while I
But the Priest says,
"No, my son, you may not. That's
utter disrespect to our religion."
Jack goes back to his friend and
tells him what the good ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 1 Septembrie 2004
Two guys walk into a bar, separately,
and have a seat at the bar.
guy notices the other has a black eye,
just like him.
how’d you get your shiner?”
“Well, I was at the train station,
and the ticket girl was veeery hot. And
instead of two tickets to Pittsburg, I
slipped and said ‘two PICKets to
TITTsburg’ and she hit me square in
the ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 24 August 2008
Friends of women:
A wife was
not at home for a whole night. So she
tells her husband, the very next
morning, that she stayed at her
girlfriend's apartment over night.
So the husband calls 10 of her best
girlfriends and none of them confirm
Friends of men:
A husband was not at home for a
whole night. So he tells his wife the
very next morning, that he stayed at his
friend's ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 28 Septembrie 2004
My girlfriend called me as she was
driving to an appointment. She arrived,
and I could tell from her voice that she
was getting frustrated. Finally she
- I know I had my cell phone
with me. And
now I can't find it!
- Aren't you talking
There was a solid period of
stunned silence as the reality of the
situation sank in - followed by:
You are NOT going to tell ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 1 Februarie 2008
After buying her kids a pet hamster,
after they PROMISED they would take care
of it, Mom, as usual, ended up with the
exasperated, she asked them, "How many
times do you think that hamster would
have died if I hadn't looked after it?"
After a moment, her youngest son
replied quizzically, "Once?" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 22 August 2007
Barbara Walters of 20/20 did a story on
gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan
several years before the Afghan
conflict. She noted that women
customarily walked about 5 paces
behind their husbands. She returned to
Kabul recently and observed that women
still walk behind their husbands, but
now seem to walk even further back and
are happy with the old custom.
Walters approached one of ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 Septembrie 2004
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets
pulled over by a Cop. Being a typical
lawyer, he thinks he is smarter than the
Cop so he decides to have some fun at
the Cop's expense.
License and registration, please.
- What for?
- You didn't come to a
complete stop at the stop sign.
- I slowed down,
and no one was coming.
- Exactly! License ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 22 Noiembrie 2005
There are 2 people always next to you:
The Manager, smiling pleasantly to
hide evil intentions!
Leader, busy figuring out what work to
dump on you next...
YOU, who struggles with it all! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 22 Iunie 2008
Robert went to his lawyer and said:
- I would like to make a will, but I
don't know exactly how to go about it.
The lawyer smiled at Robert and
- Not a problem, leave it
all to me.
Robert looked somewhat
upset and said:
- Well, I knew you
were going to take a big portion, but I
would like to leave a little to my
family too! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 Iunie 2011