There are 2 people always next to you: The Manager, smiling pleasantly to hide evil intentions! The Team Leader, busy figuring...
propus: 22 Iun 2008
A new missionary recruit went to
Venezuela for the first time. He was
struggling with the language and didn't
understand a whole lot of what was going
on. Intending to visit one of the local
churches, he got lost, but he eventually
got back on track and found the place.
Having arrived late, the church was
already packed. The only pew left was
the one on the front row.
So as
not to make a fool
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 21 Februarie 2007
A cowboy went to an insurance agency to
buy a policy. The agent asked, "Have you
ever had an accident?"
"Nope,"
replied the cowboy. "Last summer, a
bronc kicked in two of my ribs, and a
couple of years ago, a rattlesnake bit
me on the ankle."
"Wouldn't you call
those accidents?" quizzed the puzzled
agent.
"Naw," the cowboy replied.
"They did it on purpose!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 15 Noiembrie 2006
The Pope is visiting Washington, D.C.,
and President Bush takes him out for an
afternoon on the Potomac, cruising on
the Presidential yacht, the Sequoia.
They're admiring the sights when, all of
a sudden, the Pope's hat (zucchetto)
blows off his head and out into the
water.
Secret Service guys start to
launch a boat, but President Bush waves
them off, saying, "Wait, wait. I'll take
care of this.
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 28 Iulie 2006
Unexpected cold snaps had destroyed the
buds on my father's young peach tree for
two years in a row. This spring, Dad was
ready. He replanted the sapling in a
large box, mounted it on wheels, and put
the tree in the garage whenever the
temperature dropped.
One warm April
day, Dad was wheeling the tree out into
the yard, and he stopped to give our dog
a drink from the garden hose. A neighbor
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 14 Iunie 2007
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down
a country road for several miles, not
saying a word.
An earlier discussion
had led to an argument and neither of
them wanted to concede their position..
As they passed a barnyard of mules,
goats, and pigs, the husband asked
sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 30 Mai 2010

The Pentagon announced TODAY the
formation of a new 500-man elite
fighting unit called the United States
Redneck Special Forces (USRSF).
These boys will be dropped off in
Iraq and have been given only the
following facts about terrorists:
1.
The season opened today.
2. There is
no limit.
3. They taste just like
chicken.
4. They don't like beer,
pickups, country music or Jesus.
5.
They are
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 13 Martie 2008
A man is incomplete until he is married.
Then he is finished.
Marriage
is the triumph of imagination over
intelligence.
When a woman
steals your husband, there is no better
revenge than to let her keep him.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 6 Octombrie 2006
10 WAYS THE BIBLE WOULD BE DIFFERENT (If
Written By College Students)
10. Last Supper would have been
eaten the next morning - cold.
9.
The Ten Commandments are actually only
five, double-spaced, and written in a
large font.
8. New edition every two
years in order to limit reselling.
7. Forbidden fruit would have been
eaten because it wasn't cafeteria food.
6. Paul's letter to the Romans
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 17 Mai 2007
Robert went to his lawyer and said:
- I would like to make a will, but I
don't know exactly how to go about it.
The lawyer smiled at Robert and
replied:
- Not a problem, leave it
all to me.
Robert looked somewhat
upset and said:
- Well, I knew you
were going to take a big portion, but I
would like to leave a little to my
family too!
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 Iunie 2011

I am not sure exactly how this works,
but this is amazingly accurate.
The
picture below has two identical dolphins
in it. It was used in a case study on
stress levels at the Mayo Clinic and
later at Fletcher Medical Center in
Burlington.
Look at both dolphins
jumping out of the water. The dolphins
are identical. A closely monitored,
scientific study revealed that, in spite
of the fact that
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 25 Martie 2008
My grandmother is a computer geek. She
also has trouble remembering quickly
sometimes. One day she couldn't think of
what she wanted to tell us.
Mom
explained, "Your grandma is trying to
retrieve the information, but it is
taking awhile. Evidently she hasn't
defragmented her hard drive lately."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 8 Octombrie 2007
A US Navy Admiral was attending a naval
conference that included 20 Admirals
from the US, English, Canadian,
Australian and French Navies.
At a
reception, he found himself standing
with a huge group of officers that
included personnel from most of the
countries.
Everyone was chatting
away in English as they sipped their
drinks, but a French admiral suddenly
complained that, whereas Europeans
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 4 Iulie 2007