There are 2 people always next to you: The Manager, smiling pleasantly to hide evil intentions! The Team Leader, busy figuring...

Banc din categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)

propus: 22 Iun 2008
There are 2 people always next to you: The Manager, smiling pleasantly to hide evil intentions! The Team Leader, busy figuring...

There are 2 people always next to you:
The Manager, smiling pleasantly to hide evil intentions!
The Team Leader, busy figuring out what work to dump on you next...
And, there's YOU, who struggles with it all!

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered [...]
banc precedent
Two cows are conversing in a field. The first one says to the other, Have you heard about this 'mad cow disease' that is going around? The second cow responds, Yeah, but I'm not worried about [...]
banc urmator

Little Logan and his family were having Thanksgiving dinner at his grandmother's house. Everyone was seated round the table as the food was being served. When little Logan received his plate, he started eating right away.
- Logan, wait until we say our prayer, his mother reminded him.
- I don't need to, the little boy replied.
- Of course you do! his mother insisted, We say a prayer before ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 21 Noiembrie 2006


Then there was a man who said:
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late." ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 5 Octombrie 2006


01. While working with Mr. Ionescu, I have always found him
02. working studiously and sincerely at his table without
03. gossiping with colleagues in the office. He seldom
04. wastes his time on useless things. Given a job, he always
05. finishes the given assignment in time. He is always
06. deeply engrossed in his official work, and can never be
07. found chitchatting in the canteen. He ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Iunie 2011


A linguistics professor was lecturing his class one day.
- In English, he said, a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Romanian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.
A loud voice from the back of the room piped up:
- Yeah, right. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 Iunie 2011


At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man." ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 6 Octombrie 2006


Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president Bush his daily briefing. He concludes by saying:
- Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed.
- OH NO!, the president exclaims. That's terrible!
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, head in hands.
Finally, president looks up and asks:
- How many is a brazillion? ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 11 Octombrie 2005


A man follows a woman out of a movie theatre. She has a dog on a leash. He stops her and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I couldn't help but notice that your dog was really into the movie. He cried at the right spots, he moved nervously in his seat at the boring parts, but most of all, he laughed like crazy at the funny parts. Did you find that unusual?"
"Yes," she replied, "I found ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004


Why did the woman cross the Road?

Never mind that - what I would like to know is what she was doing out of the kitchen, in the first place! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 19 Noiembrie 2013


This coming week is National Mental Health Care week.

You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.

Well, my job is done! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 18 Ianuarie 2007


Queen Elizabeth II, George W Bush & Traian Basescu died & went straight to hell.

Queen Elizabeth II said "I miss Britain, I want to call Britain and see how everybody is doing there. She called and talked for about 5 minutes, then her Majesty asked "Well, Devil how much do I owe you? The devil replied "Five million dollars" She wrote him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair.

George ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 27 Octombrie 2006


Jack Benny is walking down the street, when a stick-up man pulls out a gun and says: Your money or your life!
An extremely long silence follows. Your money or your life!, the thug repeats. Finally Benny says: I am thinking! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006


A cowboy went to an insurance agency to buy a policy. The agent asked, "Have you ever had an accident?"
"Nope," replied the cowboy. "Last summer, a bronc kicked in two of my ribs, and a couple of years ago, a rattlesnake bit me on the ankle."
"Wouldn't you call those accidents?" quizzed the puzzled agent.
"Naw," the cowboy replied. "They did it on purpose!" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 15 Noiembrie 2006


Phrases For Your "Out-Of-The-Office" E-Mail Auto-Reply:

- I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

- I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.

- You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004


Positive Thinking Poem...

Little birdy in the sky,
You look up and it shits in your eye
You don't mind and you don't cry,
You just thank God that cows don't fly... ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 10 Martie 2006


Heaven is where the police are British, the chefs Italian, the mechanics German, the lovers French and it is all organized by the Swiss.
Hell is where police are German, the chefs British, the mechanics French, the lovers Swiss and it is all organized by the Italians. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 29 Noiembrie 2005