THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Innovative 2. Preliminary 3. Proliferation 4. Cinnamon THINGS THAT ARE...
Banc din categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
propus de: Sorin pe data: 22 Mai 2008
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
banc precedent A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered [...]
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A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drive his prize possession, even to the grocery store, which was a few blocks from the house. After she insisted, he finally relented, cautioning her as she departed, "Remember, if you have an accident, the newspaper will print your age." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 25 Septembrie 2008
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.' MILLIE: I is.. TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.' MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.' ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 26 Noiembrie 2008
An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas. Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?" Margaret looked him over.. "Nope." Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 27 Ianuarie 2009
A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself. A simple friend has never seen you cry. A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears. A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names. A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book. A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party. A real friend comes ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 5 Mai 2005
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminică, 30 Mai 2010
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' TEACHER: No, that's wrong GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 26 Noiembrie 2008
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said: - Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again. To which the gentleman ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 19 Noiembrie 2013
My sister, a truck driver, had decided to get a dog for protection. As she inspected a likely candidate, the trainer told her, "He doesn't like men." Perfect, my sister thought, and took the dog. Then one day, two men in a parking lot approached her, and she watched to see how her canine bodyguard would react. Soon it became clear that the trainer wasn't kidding. As the men got closer, the dog ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 13 Iunie 2007
See if you can do this. Read each line aloud. This is this cat This is is cat This is how cat This is to cat This is keep cat This is a cat This is genius cat This is busy cat This is for cat This is forty cat This is seconds cat Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top. Betcha you can't resist passing it on. LOL! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 21 Noiembrie 2011
Five Jews changed the way you see the world... - Moses: The Law is everything. - Jesus: Love is everything. - Marx: Money is everything. - Freud: Sex is everything. - Einstein: Everything is relative. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 14 Februarie 2005
A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells "You should have been here at 8:30!" he replies: "Why? What happened at 8:30?" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find
North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who
discovered America?
CLASS: Maria. ... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 26 Noiembrie 2008
A young husband comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "Darling, I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody." The next day, a guy from the electric company rings the door-bell, because the young couple hasn't paid their last bill: ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 31 August 2004
A couple had only been married for two weeks and the husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back." "Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife. "I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face," he answered. I'm going to have a beer." The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 August 2007
When Charles de Gaulle decided to retire
from public life, the British ambassador
and his wife threw a gala dinner party
in his honor. At the dinner table, the
Ambassador’s wife was talking with
Madame deGaulle:
- Your husband has been such a prominent
public figure, such a presence on the
French and international scene for so
many years! How quiet retirement will
seem in comparison. What ... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 6 Martie 2009