A mother and a daughter are shopping in the mall, when the mother eyes an expensive fur coat. This year, she says, I think...
propus: 7 Feb 2008
A mother and a daughter are shopping in
the mall, when the mother eyes an
expensive fur coat. My girlfriend called me as she was driving to an appointment. She arrived, and I could tell from her voice that she was getting frustrated. Finally she said: - I know I had my cell phone with me. [...]
"This year," she
says, "I think that I will buy my
present instead of making you and Dad
shop for me." The daughter nods in
agreement. "And I think this fur coat
would be perfect too."
protests, "But Mom, some helpless, poor
creature has to suffer so that you can
"Don't worry, honey,"
says the mother. "Your father won't get
the bill for a couple of weeks."
banc precedent Concerned about fitness in my middle 40s, I enrolled in an aerobics class. To my dismay I walked into a room filled with much younger women and decided to combat my nervousness with humor. I'm [...]
The Programmer's drinking song:
99 little bugs in the code,
bugs in the code,
Fix one bug,
compile it again,
101 little bugs
in the code.
101 little bugs in the
101 bugs in the code,
Fix one bug, compile it again,
103 little bugs in the code. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 16 Octombrie 2006
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid
Aodccrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it dnsoe't mttaer in
waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are,
the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the
frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit
pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and
you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 10 Noiembrie 2004
How to avoid the flu
Make sure you get your daily dose of
fruits and veggies.
vitamins and bump up your vitamin C.
Get plenty of exercise because
exercise helps build your immune system.
Walk for at least hour a day, go for
a swim, take the stairs instead of the
Wash your hands
often. If you can't wash them, keep
a bottle of antibacterial stuff ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 21 Ianuarie 2005
Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive
at the Italian border.
Customs Officer stops them and tells
- It's a illegala to put a
cinque people in a Quattro.
- Vot do
you mean it's illegal? asks the German
- Quattro meansa four,
replies the Italian official.
Quattro is just ze name of ze
automobile!, the German says
unbelievingly. Look at ze dam papers: ze
car is ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 26 Ianuarie 2006
The Pentagon announced TODAY the
formation of a new 500-man elite
fighting unit called the United States
Redneck Special Forces (USRSF).
These boys will be dropped off in
Iraq and have been given only the
following facts about terrorists:
The season opened today.
2. There is
3. They taste just like
4. They don't like beer,
pickups, country music or Jesus.
They are ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 13 Martie 2008
A few years ago, I decided to visit my
brother who was stationed in Germany. I
assumed that most Germans would speak
English. But I found that many people
spoke only their native tongue -
including the ticket inspector on the
He punched my ticket, then
chatted cordially for a bit, making
gestures like a windmill. I simply
nodded from time to time to show him
that I was interested.
When ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 20 Octombrie 2006
Jack Benny is walking down the street,
when a stick-up man pulls out a gun and
says: Your money or your life!
extremely long silence follows. Your
money or your life!, the thug repeats.
Finally Benny says: I am thinking! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006
This year, taxpayers will receive an
Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a
very exciting new program that I will
explain using the Q and A
"Q. What is an Economic
"A. It is money
that the federal government will send to
"Q. Where will the
government get this money?
"Q. So the
government is giving me back my own
"A. No, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 28 Ianuarie 2009
There is an old story about a mother who
walks in on her six-year-old son and
finds him sobbing. "What's the matter?"
"I've just figured out how
to tie my shoes."
that's wonderful." Being a wise mother,
she recognizes his victory in the
Eriksonian struggle of autonomy versus
doubt: "You're growing up, but why are
"Because," he says,
"now I'll have to do it ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 20 Aprilie 2007
During a taxi, the crew of a US Air
departure flight to Ft. Lauderdale made
a wrong turn and came nose-to-nose with
a United 727. The irate ground
controller (a female) lashed out at the
US Air crew screaming, "US Air 2771,
where are you going? I told you to turn
right on 'Charlie' taxi way; you turned
right on 'Delta.' Stop right there. I
know it's difficult to tell the
difference between a C ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 25 Martie 2008
1. Project Manager is a person who
thinks nine women can deliver a baby in
2. Developer is a person
who thinks it will take 18 months to
deliver a baby.
Coordinator is one who thinks a single
woman can deliver nine babies in one
4. Client is the one who
doesn't know why he wants a baby.
5. Marketing Manager is a person who
thinks he can deliver a baby even if ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 11 Aprilie 2005
European Commission has just announced
an agreement whereby English will be the
official language of the European Union
rather than German, which was the other
As part of the
negotiations, the British Government
conceded that English spelling had some
room for improvement and has accepted a
5- year phase-in plan that would become
known as "Euro-English".
first year, "s" will ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 5 Aprilie 2006