A mother and a daughter are shopping in the mall, when the mother eyes an expensive fur coat. This year, she says, I think...
propus: 7 Feb 2008
A mother and a daughter are shopping in
the mall, when the mother eyes an
expensive fur coat. My girlfriend called me as she was driving to an appointment. She arrived, and I could tell from her voice that she was getting frustrated. Finally she said: - I know I had my cell phone with me. [...]
"This year," she
says, "I think that I will buy my
present instead of making you and Dad
shop for me." The daughter nods in
agreement. "And I think this fur coat
would be perfect too."
protests, "But Mom, some helpless, poor
creature has to suffer so that you can
"Don't worry, honey,"
says the mother. "Your father won't get
the bill for a couple of weeks."
banc precedent Concerned about fitness in my middle 40s, I enrolled in an aerobics class. To my dismay I walked into a room filled with much younger women and decided to combat my nervousness with humor. I'm [...]
My sister, a truck driver, had decided
to get a dog for protection. As she
inspected a likely candidate, the
trainer told her, "He doesn't like men."
Perfect, my sister thought, and took the
Then one day, two men in a
parking lot approached her, and she
watched to see how her canine bodyguard
would react. Soon it became clear that
the trainer wasn't kidding. As the men
got closer, the dog ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 13 Iunie 2007
During a taxi, the crew of a US Air
departure flight to Ft. Lauderdale made
a wrong turn and came nose-to-nose with
a United 727. The irate ground
controller (a female) lashed out at the
US Air crew screaming, "US Air 2771,
where are you going? I told you to turn
right on 'Charlie' taxi way; you turned
right on 'Delta.' Stop right there. I
know it's difficult to tell the
difference between a C ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 25 Martie 2008
A clergyman, walking down a country
lane, saw a young farmer struggling to
load hay back onto a cart after it had
- You look tired, my
son, said the cleric. Why don't you rest
a moment, and I'll give you a hand.
- No thanks, said the young man. My
father wouldn't approve.
- Don't be
silly, the minister said. Everyone is
entitled to a break. Come and have a
drink of water.
Again ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 3 Mai 2007
Two guys walk into a bar, separately,
and have a seat at the bar.
guy notices the other has a black eye,
just like him.
how’d you get your shiner?”
“Well, I was at the train station,
and the ticket girl was veeery hot. And
instead of two tickets to Pittsburg, I
slipped and said ‘two PICKets to
TITTsburg’ and she hit me square in
the ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 24 August 2008
Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the
river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his
clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan
A: The animals told
him. Your tail is in front". ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Februarie 2007
Little Logan and his family were having
Thanksgiving dinner at his grandmother's
house. Everyone was seated round the
table as the food was being served. When
little Logan received his plate, he
started eating right away.
wait until we say our prayer, his mother
- I don't need to, the
little boy replied.
- Of course you
do! his mother insisted, We say a prayer
before ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 21 Noiembrie 2006
You Know You Have a Bad Computer When...
10. The lower corner of screen has
the words "Etch A Sketch" on it.
When you insert a disk, it spits out a
pack of cigarettes.
8. You have to
7. The manual contains one
sentence: "Good luck!"
6. The only
chip inside came from a bag of Doritos.
5. When you turn it on, the dogs in
the neighborhood start howling.
You catch a virus from ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 20 August 2007
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and
suffer fewer heart attacks than
2. The Mexicans eat a lot
of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks
3. The Chinese drink
very little red wine and suffer fewer
heart attacks than Americans.
Italians drink excessive amounts of red
wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than
5. The Germans drink a
lot of beers and eat ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 11 Noiembrie 2004
A lady about eight months pregnant got
on a bus. She noticed the man opposite
her was smiling at her. So she
immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned to a
grin, so she moved again. The man seemed
even more amused. When, on the fourth
move, the man burst out laughing, she
complained to the driver and he had the
The case came up in
court. The judge asked the man ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 2 Iulie 2007
Unexpected cold snaps had destroyed the
buds on my father's young peach tree for
two years in a row. This spring, Dad was
ready. He replanted the sapling in a
large box, mounted it on wheels, and put
the tree in the garage whenever the
One warm April
day, Dad was wheeling the tree out into
the yard, and he stopped to give our dog
a drink from the garden hose. A neighbor ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 14 Iunie 2007
When I went to lunch today, I noticed an
old lady near a park bench sobbing her
eyes out. I stopped and asked her what
She said: "I have a 22
year old husband at home. He makes love
to me every morning and then gets up and
makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit
and freshly ground coffee."
"Well, then why are you crying?"
said: "He makes me homemade soup for
lunch and my ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 24 Februarie 2005
A ragged individual stranded for several
months on a small desert island in the
middle of the Pacific Ocean noticed a
bottle lying in the sand with a piece of
paper in it. Rushing to the bottle, he
pulled out the cork and with shaking
hands withdrew the message.
lack of maintenance," he read, "we
regretfully have found it necessary to
cancel your e-mail account." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 23 Mai 2007
News from Heaven: Due to the current
financial crisis facing the world at the
moment, the light at the end of the
tunnel will be switched off to save on
electricity costs, until further notice.
God ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 21 Noiembrie 2008