A school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: If you promise not to believe everything your child...

Banc din categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)

propus de: Carp pe data: 27 Ian 2008

A school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home."

About five years ago, the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had died because I left the lights on overnight. I was in a hurry to get to work on time, so I ran into the house to get my wife to give me a [...]
banc precedent My girlfriend called me as she was driving to an appointment. She arrived, and I could tell from her voice that she was getting frustrated. Finally she said: - I know I had my cell phone with me. [...]
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' TEACHER: No, that's wrong GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 26 Noiembrie 2008


A Czech goes to the optician who shows him a card with the letters 'C Z W X N Q S T A C Z'. "Can you read this?" the optician asks. "Read it?" the Czech replies, "I even know the guy." ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 31 August 2004


On some air bases, the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?" The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 10 Iulie 2007


TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD: A teacher ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 1 Mai 2009


A few years ago, I decided to visit my brother who was stationed in Germany. I assumed that most Germans would speak English. But I found that many people spoke only their native tongue - including the ticket inspector on the train. He punched my ticket, then chatted cordially for a bit, making gestures like a windmill. I simply nodded from time to time to show him that I was interested. When he ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 20 Octombrie 2006


A young lady visited the government matchmaker for marriage and requested: "I'm looking for a spouse. Can you please help me to find a suitable one?" The marriage officer said: "Your requirements please." "Well, let me see. Needs to be good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 27 August 2007


Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan asked "Why"? A: The animals told him. Your tail is in front". ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Februarie 2007


If a man and a woman fell off a 10-story building at the same time, who would reach the ground first? The woman, the man would get lost. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sâmbătă, 4 Iunie 2011


A school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home." ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminică, 27 Ianuarie 2008


Unexpected cold snaps had destroyed the buds on my father's young peach tree for two years in a row. This spring, Dad was ready. He replanted the sapling in a large box, mounted it on wheels, and put the tree in the garage whenever the temperature dropped. One warm April day, Dad was wheeling the tree out into the yard, and he stopped to give our dog a drink from the garden hose. A neighbor ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 14 Iunie 2007


Dear God: My prayer for Next Year is for a fat bank account & a thin body. Please don't mix these up like you did last year. Thank you so much! Happy New Year! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 17 Ianuarie 2011


TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 26 Noiembrie 2008


Two cows are conversing in a field. The first one says to the other, "Have you heard about this 'mad cow disease' that is going around?" The second cow responds, "Yeah, but I'm not worried about it; I'm an airplane!" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 23 Iulie 2008


News from Heaven: Due to the current financial crisis facing the world at the moment, the light at the end of the tunnel will be switched off to save on electricity costs, until further ...News from Heaven: Due to the current financial crisis facing the world at the moment, the light at the end of the tunnel will be switched off to save on electricity costs, until further notice. Sincerely yours, God ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 21 Noiembrie 2008


UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE) I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 13 Mai 2010