My grandmother is a computer geek. She also has trouble remembering quickly sometimes. One day she couldn't think of what she...

Banc din categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)

propus: 8 Oct 2007

My grandmother is a computer geek. She also has trouble remembering quickly sometimes. One day she couldn't think of what she wanted to tell us.
Mom explained, "Your grandma is trying to retrieve the information, but it is taking awhile. Evidently she hasn't defragmented her hard drive lately."

Round like a shot
banc precedent
Depression in the age of global outsourcing: I was feeling depressed the other day, so I called LifeLine. They had recently outsourced, so I was put through to their new Call Center in Pakistan. [...]
banc urmator

Man: God?
God: Yes!?
Man: Can I ask you something?
God: Yes.
Man: What is for you a million of years?
God: A second.
Man: And a million of dollars?
God: A penny.
Man: God, Can you give me a penny?
God: Wait a second! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 27 Octombrie 2005


My grandmother is a computer geek. She also has trouble remembering quickly sometimes. One day she couldn't think of what she wanted to tell us.
Mom explained, "Your grandma is trying to retrieve the information, but it is taking awhile. Evidently she hasn't defragmented her hard drive lately." ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 8 Octombrie 2007


An old mafia Don is dying and he calls his grandson to the bed.
- You lissin-a me. I wanna for you to taka my chrome plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me.
- But grandpa, I really don't like guns. Howzabout you leava me your rolex watch instead?
- Shuddup and lissin. Somma day you gonna runna da business, you gonna have a beautifulla wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 17 Octombrie 2005


Two cows are conversing in a field. The first one says to the other, "Have you heard about this 'mad cow disease' that is going around?"
The second cow responds, "Yeah, but I'm not worried about it; I'm an airplane!" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 23 Iulie 2008


During a taxi, the crew of a US Air departure flight to Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose-to-nose with a United 727. The irate ground controller (a female) lashed out at the US Air crew screaming, "US Air 2771, where are you going? I told you to turn right on 'Charlie' taxi way; you turned right on 'Delta.' Stop right there. I know it's difficult to tell the difference between a C ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 25 Martie 2008


A couple was going out for the evening. They'd gotten ready, all dolled up, dog put out, etc. The taxi arrives, and as the couple start out, the dog shoots back in the house. They don't want the dog shut in the house,so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the dog out.
The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004


A property manager of an apartment complex was showing a unit to prospective tenants and asking the usual questions.
"Professionally employed?" he asked.
"We're a military family," the wife answered.
"Children?"
"Oh, yes, ages nine and twelve," she answered proudly.
"Animals?"
"Oh, no," she said earnestly. "They're very well behaved." ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 23 Aprilie 2008


An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said:
- If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess.
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said:
- If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005


A cowboy went to an insurance agency to buy a policy. The agent asked, "Have you ever had an accident?"
"Nope," replied the cowboy. "Last summer, a bronc kicked in two of my ribs, and a couple of years ago, a rattlesnake bit me on the ankle."
"Wouldn't you call those accidents?" quizzed the puzzled agent.
"Naw," the cowboy replied. "They did it on purpose!" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 15 Noiembrie 2006


A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells "You should have been here at 8:30!" he replies: "Why? What happened at 8:30?" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006


I have a great dog. She's half Labrador, half Pit-bull. A good combination. Sure, she might bite off my leg, but she'll bring it back to me. Jimi Celeste ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 18 Mai 2012


Of course you've heard about the Viagra computer virus, it turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004


The Pentagon announced TODAY the
formation of a new 500-man elite
fighting unit called the United States
Redneck Special Forces (USRSF).
<br>These boys will be dropped off in
Iraq and have been given ...The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF).
These boys will be dropped off in Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:
1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5. They are ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 13 Martie 2008


All the scientists die and go to heaven. They decide to play hide-n-seek. Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den. He is supposed to count up to 100 and then start searching. Everyone starts hiding except Newton. Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein. Einstein's counting: 1,2,3..97,98,99,100.
He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Septembrie 2005


Statement: Senior Citizens Are Valuable!
We are more valuable than any of the younger generations:
- We have silver in our hair.
- We have gold in our teeth.
- We have stones in our kidneys.
- We have lead in our feet and.
- We are loaded with natural gas ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 26 Februarie 2008