My grandmother is a computer geek. She also has trouble remembering quickly sometimes. One day she couldn't think of what she...
propus: 8 Oct 2007
A man is taking a walk in Central park
in New York. Suddenly he sees the little
girl being attacked by a pitbull. He
runs over and starts fighting with the
dog. He succeds in killing the dog and
saving the girls live.
A policeman
who was watching the scene walks over
and says:
- You are a hero, tomorrow
you can read it in all the newspapers:
"Brave New Yorker saves a little girl's
life"
- But
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 3 Mai 2006
Error messages:
1. Enter any
11-digit prime number to continue.
2. Press any key to continue or any
other key to quit.
3. Bad command or
file name! Go stand in the corner.
4. This will end your Windows
session. Do you want to play another
game?
5. Windows message: "Error
saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)"
6. To "shut down" your system, type
"WIN"
7. BREAKFAST.SYS halted...
Cereal port
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 10 Noiembrie 2004
Sweetheart:
I can't send my
salary this month, so I am sending 100
kisses. You are my sweetheart.
Your husband,
Allen
...
His wife replied back after some
days to her husband:
Dearest
sweetheart,
Thanks for your 100
kisses, I am sending the expenses
details:
1. The Milk man agreed on 2
kisses for one month's milk.
2.
The electricity man only agreed after 7
kisses.
3.
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 13 Septembrie 2005
A man is incomplete until he is married.
Then he is finished.
Marriage
is the triumph of imagination over
intelligence.
When a woman
steals your husband, there is no better
revenge than to let her keep him.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 6 Octombrie 2006
A man walks into a bar and he's really
pissed. The bartender gives him a drink
and asks what the problem is. All he
says is:
- All lawyers are assholes.
A man sitting in the corner shouts:
- I take offense to that!
The
pissed off guy asks him:
- Why? Are
you a lawyer?
The other replies:
- No, I'm an asshole.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 30 Iunie 2006
This is an actual job application that a
75 year old senior citizen submitted to
Walmart in Arkansas. They hired him
because he was so funny.
- - - - - -
- - - - -
NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy
Bastard)
SEX: Not lately, but I am
looking for the right woman (or at least
one who will cooperate)
DESIRED
POSITION: Company's President or Vice
President. But seriously, whatever's
available. If I was in
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 21 Noiembrie 2006
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus
stop with their 9 children. A blind man
joins them after a few minutes. When the
bus arrives, they find it overloaded and
only the wife and the 9 kids are able to
fit onto the bus.
So the
husband and the blind man decide to
walk. After a while, the husband gets
irritated by the ticking of the stick of
the blind man as he taps it on the
sidewalk, and says
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 5 Octombrie 2006
Well, it appears our African-American
friends have found yet something else to
be pissed about. A black congresswoman
reportedly complained that the names of
hurricanes are all Caucasian sounding
names. She would prefer some names that
reflect African-American culture such as
Chamiqua, Tanisha, Woeisha, Shaqueal,
and Jamal. She would also like the
weather reports to be broadcast in
language that
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 20 Februarie 2007
Who's your best friend? Just try this
experiment... Put your dog and your wife
in the trunk of the car for an hour.
When you open the trunk, who is really
happy to see you?
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 12 Martie 2008
Bill and Diane were in a terrible
accident and Diane's face was
severely burned.
The doctor
told Bill that they couldn't graft
any skin from her body because she was
too skinny.
So Bill offered to
donate some of his own skin. However,
the only skin on his body that the
doctor felt was suitable would have to
come from his buttocks.
The
husband and wife agreed that they would
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004
There is this good old barber in one
city in the US.
- One day a florist
goes to him for a haircut. After the
cut, he goes to pay the barber and the
barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot
accept money from you. I am doing
community service." The Florist is happy
and leaves the shop. The next morning
when the barber goes to open his shop,
there is a thank you card and a dozen
roses waiting at his
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 9 Februarie 2006
People who do lots of work... make lots
of mistakes.
People who do less
work... make less mistakes.
People
who do no work... make no mistakes.
People who make no mistakes... gets
promoted.
That's why I spend
most of my time sending e-mails &
playing games at work... I need a
promotion.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 10 Ianuarie 2005
Two women came before wise King Solomon,
dragging between them a young man in a
three-piece suit.
"This young lawyer
agreed to marry my daughter," said one.
"No! He agreed to marry MY
daughter," said the other.
And so
they haggled before the king until he
called for silence.
"Bring me my
biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I
shall hew the young attorney in half.
Each of you shall receive a
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 17 Octombrie 2006
Manning the computer help desk for the
local school district was my first job.
And though I was just an intern, I took
the job very seriously. But not every
caller took me seriously.
- Can I
talk to a real person? a caller asked.
- I am real, I said.
- Oh, I'm
sorry, the caller said. That was rude of
me. What I meant to say was, could I
talk to someone who actually knows
something?
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 14 Martie 2008