My grandmother is a computer geek. She also has trouble remembering quickly sometimes. One day she couldn't think of what she...
propus: 8 Oct 2007
1. I feel like I'm
diagonally parked in a parallel
2. On the other hand,
it's better to have fingers than toes.
3. A day without sunshine is
like. .. night!
4. How many of
you believe in psycho-kenisis? Raise my
5. Everyone has a
photographic memory, but some don't have
6. When everything is
coming your way. .. you're in the wrong
lane. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 17 August 2006
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets
pulled over by a Cop. Being a typical
lawyer, he thinks he is smarter than the
Cop so he decides to have some fun at
the Cop's expense.
License and registration, please.
- What for?
- You didn't come to a
complete stop at the stop sign.
- I slowed down,
and no one was coming.
- Exactly! License ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 22 Noiembrie 2005
The orthopedic surgeon I work for was
moving to a new office, and his staff
was helping transport many of the items.
I sat the display skeleton in
the front of my car, his bony arm across
the back of my seat. I hadn't considered
the drive across town. At one traffic
light, the stares of the people in the
car beside me became obvious, and I
looked across and explained, "I'm
delivering him to my ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 Octombrie 2006
"Davey, what sound does a cow make?"
Davey replied, "It goes 'moo.'"
"Alice, what sound does a cat make?"
Alice said, "It goes 'meow.'"
"Jamie, what sound does a lamb
Jamie said, "It goes 'baaa.'"
"Jennifer, what sound does a
Jennifer paused, and
said, "Uhh. .. it goes. .. 'click!'" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 14 August 2007
A woman in our diet club was lamenting
that she had gained weight. She'd made
her family's favorite cake over the
weekend, she reported, and they'd eaten
half of it at dinner.
day, she said, she kept staring at the
other half, until finally she cut a thin
slice for herself. One slice led to
another, and soon the whole cake was
The woman went on to tell
us how upset she was ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 2 Octombrie 2006
A man is incomplete until he is married.
Then he is finished.
is the triumph of imagination over
When a woman
steals your husband, there is no better
revenge than to let her keep him. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 6 Octombrie 2006
A truck driver had to deliver five
hundred penguins to the state zoo. As he
was driving his truck through the
desert, the truck broke down.
After waiting by the side of the
road for about three hours, he waved
another truck down and offered the
driver $500 to take the penguins to the
state zoo for him.
day, the first truck driver arrived in
town and saw the second truck driver ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 3 Decembrie 2007
Hearing so many people speaking about
his intelligence level, George "double
you" Bush decided to get his brain
The physician diagnosis was
- Mr. President, you
have two brains, the left and the right,
like all normal people. But the problem
is that in your left brain there is
nothing right and in your right brain
there is nothing left. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 10 Mai 2005
On the first day of school, the teacher
asked a student:
- What are your
The student replied:
- My father's name is Laughing and
my mother's name is Smiling.
- Are you kidding?
The student said:
- No, Kidding
is my brother. I am Joking. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 19 Martie 2015
A few years ago, I decided to visit my
brother who was stationed in Germany. I
assumed that most Germans would speak
English. But I found that many people
spoke only their native tongue -
including the ticket inspector on the
He punched my ticket, then
chatted cordially for a bit, making
gestures like a windmill. I simply
nodded from time to time to show him
that I was interested.
When ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 20 Octombrie 2006
I am passing this on to you because it
definitely worked for me and we all
could use more calm in our lives. By
following the simple advice I heard on a
Dr. Phil show, I have finally found
inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed, "The
way to achieve inner peace is to finish
all the things you've started." So I
looked around my house to see all the
things I started and hadn't
finished, and before ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 30 Mai 2005
I'm sorry that you haven't
gotten much email from me lately.
It's because I'm tired. For a
couple years I've been blaming it on
iron poor blood, lack of vitamins,
dieting and a dozen other maladies. But
now I found out the real reason. I'm
tired because I'm overworked.
The population of this country is
237 million. 104 million are retired.
That leaves 133 million to ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004
Once upon a time there were two
One brother was very
mischievous, always getting into
The other brother,
however, was very good. He was always
kind to animals, helped elderly
neighbors, and led an exemplary life.
As time went on, the brothers
stayed in touch but were never close.
The evil brother became a heavy
drinker and a womanizer.
other brother was a ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 6 Aprilie 2006
The graduate with a Science degree asks,
"Why does it work?"
with an Engineering degree asks, "How
does it work?"
The graduate with an
Accounting degree asks, "How much will
The graduate with an Arts
degree asks, "Do you want fries with
that?" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005