Davey, what sound does a cow make? Davey replied, It goes 'moo.' Alice, what sound does a cat make? Alice said, It...
propus: 14 Aug 2007
"Davey, what sound does a cow make?"
Davey replied, "It goes 'moo.'"
"Alice, what sound does a cat make?"
Alice said, "It goes 'meow.'"
"Jamie, what sound does a lamb
make?"
Jamie said, "It goes 'baaa.'"
"Jennifer, what sound does a
mouse make?"
Jennifer paused, and
said, "Uhh. .. it goes. .. 'click!'"
If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, itwill always be yours. If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with. But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up [...]
banc precedent What do you get if you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic? Someone who stays awake at night wondering if there really is a dog.
banc urmator
News from Apple
Apple Computers
announced today that is has developed a
computer chip that can store and play
music in women's breast implants.
The iBoob will cost between $499 and
$599.
This is considered to be
a major breakthrough, because women are
always complaining about men staring at
their breasts and not listening to them.
Thank to Apple, everyone is now
happy.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 28 Noiembrie 2007
Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive
at the Italian border.
The Italian
Customs Officer stops them and tells
them:
- It's a illegala to put a
cinque people in a Quattro.
- Vot do
you mean it's illegal? asks the German
driver.
- Quattro meansa four,
replies the Italian official.
-
Quattro is just ze name of ze
automobile!, the German says
unbelievingly. Look at ze dam papers: ze
car is
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 26 Ianuarie 2006
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing
problems for a number of years. He went
to the doctor and the doctor was able to
have him fitted for a set of hearing
aids that allowed the gentleman to hear
100%.
The elderly gentleman
went back in a month to the doctor and
the doctor said:
- Your hearing is
perfect. Your family must be really
pleased that you can hear again.
To which the gentleman
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 19 Noiembrie 2013
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your
emergency?
Caller: I heard what
sounded like gunshots coming from the
brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and
slacks, why?
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 12 Aprilie 2007

A newlywed farmer and his wife were
visited by her mother, who immediately
demanded an inspection of the place.
While they were walking through the
barn, the farmer's mule suddenly reared
up and kicked the mother-in-law in the
head, killing her instantly.
At
the funeral service a few days later,
the farmer stood near the casket and
greeted folks as they walked by. The
pastor noticed that
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 19 Decembrie 2008
A dog walks into an employment agency
and says:
- I'd like to get a job
please.
The guy at the employment
agency says:
- Wow, you could easily
get a job at the circus, with your
talents!
The dog replys:
- What
would the circus want with a plumber?
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 19 Noiembrie 2013
A new store named Husband-Mart opened.
Husband-Mart is a store where women can
go and choose a husband from among many
men. The store is composed of six
floors, and the men increase in positive
attributes as the shopper ascends the
flight of stairs. There is, however, a
catch. AS you open the door to any floor
you may choose a man from that floor,
but if you go up a floor, you cannot go
back down
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 30 Noiembrie 2004
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of
your emergency?
Caller: My wife is
pregnant and her contractions are only
two minutes apart!
Dispatcher: Is
this her first child?
Caller: This
is her husband!
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 12 Aprilie 2007
An old mafia Don is dying and he calls
his grandson to the bed.
- You
lissin-a me. I wanna for you to taka my
chrome plated 38 revolver so you will
always remember me.
- But grandpa,
I really don't like guns. Howzabout you
leava me your rolex watch instead?
-
Shuddup and lissin. Somma day you gonna
runna da business, you gonna have a
beautifulla wife, lotsa money, a biga
home and maybe a
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 17 Octombrie 2005
This is an actual job application that a
75 year old senior citizen submitted to
Walmart in Arkansas. They hired him
because he was so funny.
- - - - - -
- - - - -
NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy
Bastard)
SEX: Not lately, but I am
looking for the right woman (or at least
one who will cooperate)
DESIRED
POSITION: Company's President or Vice
President. But seriously, whatever's
available. If I was in
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 21 Noiembrie 2006
Fifteen days ago, I read that smoking
can kill you.
The next day I stopped
smoking.
Twelve days ago, I
read that too much red meat can kill
you.
The next day I stopped eating
red meat.
Eight days ago, I
read that drinking can kill you. The
next day I stopped drinking.
Yesterday, I read that having sex
can kill you.
This morning I stopped
reading.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 25 Aprilie 2005