If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, itwill always be yours. If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to...
propus: 9 Aug 2007
If you love something, set it free. If
it comes back, itwill always be yours.
If it doesn't come back, it was never
yours to begin with. But, if it just
sits in your living room, messes up your
stuff, eats your food, uses your
telephone, takes your money, and doesn't
appear to realize that you had set it
free... You either married it or gave
birth to it Ten Things men know for sure about women. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. Women have breasts.
banc precedent Davey, what sound does a cow make? Davey replied, It goes 'moo.' Alice, what sound does a cat make? Alice said, It goes 'meow.' Jamie, what sound does a lamb make? [...]
Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a
Donkey from a farmer for $100. The
farmer agreed to deliver the Donkey the
The next day he drove
up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some
bad News, the donkey died.' Chuck
replied, 'Well, then just give me my
money back.' The farmer said, 'Can't
do that. I went and spent it already.'
Chuck said, 'Ok, then, just
bring me the dead ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 14 Octombrie 2008
A man visited a psychiatrist to talk
about his dreams.
"Every night," the
man said, "I dream that these three
hideous monsters are sitting on the edge
of my bed, ready to attack me."
"Hmmm," said the doctor. "I feel
sure I can cure you of this problem. But
the treatment will cost you somewhere
between twenty-five and thirty thousand
"Thirty thousand dollars!"
the man gasped. "Never ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 9 Martie 2007
A dog walks into an employment agency
- I'd like to get a job
The guy at the employment
- Wow, you could easily
get a job at the circus, with your
The dog replys:
would the circus want with a plumber? ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 19 Noiembrie 2013
A lady about eight months pregnant got
on a bus. She noticed the man opposite
her was smiling at her. So she
immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned to a
grin, so she moved again. The man seemed
even more amused. When, on the fourth
move, the man burst out laughing, she
complained to the driver and he had the
The case came up in
court. The judge asked the man ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 2 Iulie 2007
A man walks along a lonely beach.
Suddenly he hears a deep voice: DIG!
He looks around; nobody's there. "I
am having hallucinations," he thinks.
Then he hears the voice again: I SAID,
So he starts to dig in the sand
with his bare hands, and after a bit, he
finds a small chest with a rusty lock.
The deep voice says: OPEN!
the man thinks, let's open the thing. He
finds a rock with ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 18 Aprilie 2008
See if you can do this. Read each line
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass
This is busy cat
This is for
This is forty cat
Now go back and
read the THIRD word
in each line
from the top.
Betcha you can't
resist passing it on. LOL! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 21 Noiembrie 2011
You are driving along in your car on a
wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus
stop, and you see three people waiting
for the bus:
1. An old lady who
looks as if she is about to die.
An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect man (or) woman you
have been dreaming about.
would you choose to offer a ride to,
knowing that there could only be one
passenger in your car. ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 16 Mai 2005
HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE
Put about 100 bricks in
some particular order in a closed room
with an open window. Then send 2 or 3
candidates in the room and close the
door. Leave them alone and come back
after 6 hours and then analyses the
If they are counting
the bricks. Put them in the accounts
If they are
recounting them. Put them in ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 10 Martie 2006
There are 2 people always next to you:
The Manager, smiling pleasantly to
hide evil intentions!
Leader, busy figuring out what work to
dump on you next...
YOU, who struggles with it all! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 22 Iunie 2008
All eyes were on the radiant bride as
her father escorted her down the aisle.
They reached the altar and the waiting
groom; the bride kissed her father and
placed something in his hand. The guests
in the front pews, and the minister,
responded with ripples of laughter. As
her father gave her away in marriage,
the bride had given him back his credit
card. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 28 Noiembrie 2006
Bono is at a U2 concert in Dublin when
he asks the audience for some quiet.
Then, in the silence, he starts to
slowly clap his hands.
He says into
the microphone, in a deep solemn
"Just for a moment, think
outside yourself... Outside this
arena... Every time I clap my hands, a
child in Africa dies."
A loud Irish
voice from near the front pierces the
"Well, ya ****** ****, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 27 Octombrie 2006
Our pastor, an avid golfer, was once
taking part in a local tournament. As he
was preparing to tee off, the organizer
of the tournament approached him and
pointed to the dark, threatening storm
clouds that were gathering.
"Preacher," the organizer said, "I
trust you'll see to it that the weather
won't turn bad on us."
shook his head. "Sorry," he replied.
"I'm sales, not management!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 29 Octombrie 2008
A crew of highway maintenance workers
was sent to repair some road signs that
vandals had knocked down in a forested
area. The first one they put back up was
a symbol warning of a deer crossing.
As they moved down the road to
repair the next sign, one crew member
looked back and spotted a deer running
across the highway.
She turned to a
co-worker and said, "I wonder how long
he's been waiting ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 11 Iunie 2007
An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert,
moved to Texas.
Bert always wanted a
pair of authentic cowboy boots, so,
seeing some on sale, he bought them and
wore them home.
Walking proudly, he
sauntered into the kitchen and said to
his wife, "Notice anything different
Margaret looked him
stormed off into the bathroom, undressed
and walked back into the ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 27 Ianuarie 2009