In order to assure the highest level of quality work and productivity from employees it will be our policy to keep all employees...
propus: 19 Iul 2007
HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE
Put about 100 bricks in
some particular order in a closed room
with an open window. Then send 2 or 3
candidates in the room and close the
door. Leave them alone and come back
after 6 hours and then analyses the
If they are counting
the bricks. Put them in the accounts
If they are
recounting them. Put them in ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 10 Martie 2006
On the first day of school, the teacher
asked a student:
- What are your
The student replied:
- My father's name is Laughing and
my mother's name is Smiling.
- Are you kidding?
The student said:
- No, Kidding
is my brother. I am Joking. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 19 Martie 2015
There were 3 good arguments that Jesus
1. He called everyone
2. He liked Gospel.
He couldn't get a fair trial.
But then there were 3 equally good
arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a
virgin and his mother was sure he was
But then there
were 3 ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 20 Octombrie 2005
Five Jews changed the way you see the
- Moses: The Law is
- Jesus: Love is
- Marx: Money is
- Freud: Sex is
- Einstein: Everything
is relative. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 14 Februarie 2005
People who do lots of work... make lots
People who do less
work... make less mistakes.
who do no work... make no mistakes.
People who make no mistakes... gets
That's why I spend
most of my time sending e-mails &
playing games at work... I need a
promotion. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 10 Ianuarie 2005
Late one night, a man walks into a
dentist's surgery and says, "Excuse me,
can you help me? I think I'm a moth."
Dentist: "You don't need a dentist.
You need a psychiatrist."
Dentist: "So why did you
come in here?"
Man: "Well, the light
was on." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 9 Mai 2007
This year, taxpayers will receive an
Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a
very exciting new program that I will
explain using the Q and A
"Q. What is an Economic
"A. It is money
that the federal government will send to
"Q. Where will the
government get this money?
"Q. So the
government is giving me back my own
"A. No, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 28 Ianuarie 2009
An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert,
moved to Texas.
Bert always wanted a
pair of authentic cowboy boots, so,
seeing some on sale, he bought them and
wore them home.
Walking proudly, he
sauntered into the kitchen and said to
his wife, "Notice anything different
Margaret looked him
stormed off into the bathroom, undressed
and walked back into the ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 27 Ianuarie 2009
"I just don't understand it", an Irish
footballer complained... "One match I
play very well, and then the next match
"Well", said his
wife, "why don't you just play every
other match?" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 30 Aprilie 2008
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence
starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say,
MILLIE: All right... 'I am
the ninth letter of the alphabet.' ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 26 Noiembrie 2008
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of
Caller: My wife is
pregnant and her contractions are only
two minutes apart!
this her first child?
is her husband! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 12 Aprilie 2007
I've sure gotten old. I've had two
bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, and
new knees. Fought prostate cancer and
diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear
anything quieter than a jet engine, and
take 40 different medications that make
me dizzy, winded, and subject to
blackouts. Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation; hardly feel my
hands and feet anymore. Can't remember
if I'm 85 or 92. Have ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 11 Decembrie 2006
The Programmer's drinking song:
99 little bugs in the code,
bugs in the code,
Fix one bug,
compile it again,
101 little bugs
in the code.
101 little bugs in the
101 bugs in the code,
Fix one bug, compile it again,
103 little bugs in the code. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 16 Octombrie 2006
During a taxi, the crew of a US Air
departure flight to Ft. Lauderdale made
a wrong turn and came nose-to-nose with
a United 727. The irate ground
controller (a female) lashed out at the
US Air crew screaming, "US Air 2771,
where are you going? I told you to turn
right on 'Charlie' taxi way; you turned
right on 'Delta.' Stop right there. I
know it's difficult to tell the
difference between a C ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 25 Martie 2008