Woman = Time * Money Time = Money Woman = Money * Money Money = root of all problems Woman = Problems.
propus: 14 Iul 2007
When I went to lunch today, I noticed an
old lady near a park bench sobbing her
eyes out. I stopped and asked her what
She said: "I have a 22
year old husband at home. He makes love
to me every morning and then gets up and
makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit
and freshly ground coffee."
"Well, then why are you crying?"
said: "He makes me homemade soup for
lunch and my ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 24 Februarie 2005
A big earthquake with the strength of
8.1 on the Richter scale hits Mexico.
Two million Mexicans have died and over
a million are injured. The country is
totally ruined and the government
doesn't know where to start with asking
for help to rebuild.
The rest of the
world is in shock.
sending troopers to help the Mexican
army control the riots.
Arabia is sending oil.
Other ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 31 Mai 2006
Statement: Senior Citizens Are Valuable!
We are more valuable than any of the
- We have
silver in our hair.
- We have gold
in our teeth.
- We have stones in
- We have lead in our
- We are loaded with
natural gas ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 26 Februarie 2008
The graduate with a Science degree asks,
"Why does it work?"
with an Engineering degree asks, "How
does it work?"
The graduate with an
Accounting degree asks, "How much will
The graduate with an Arts
degree asks, "Do you want fries with
that?" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005
- Bless me Father, for I have sinned
with a woman.
The priest asks, "Is
that you, little Johnny Parisi?"
Yes, Father, it is.
- And who was
the woman you were with?
- I can't
tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin
- Well, Johnny, I'm
sure to find out her name sooner or
later, so you may as well tell me now.
Was it Tina Minetti?
- I cannot say.
- Was it Teresa Volpe?
- ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 6 Octombrie 2006
Two mothers are having a conversation
about their children one day.
do you get your Marvin up so early on
school mornings? asks Joan.
that's easy, replies Marianne. I just
throw the cat on his bed.
- Why does
that wake him up?
- He sleeps with
the dog! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 13 Martie 2008
A real estate agent had just closed his
first deal, only to discover that the
piece of land he had sold was completely
going to come back here pretty mad," he
said to his boss. "Should I give him his
roared the boss. "What kind of salesman
are you? Get out there and sell him a
houseboat!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Noiembrie 2006
1. Project Manager is a person who
thinks nine women can deliver a baby in
2. Developer is a person
who thinks it will take 18 months to
deliver a baby.
Coordinator is one who thinks a single
woman can deliver nine babies in one
4. Client is the one who
doesn't know why he wants a baby.
5. Marketing Manager is a person who
thinks he can deliver a baby even if ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 11 Aprilie 2005
A new young bride calls her mother in
doesn't appreciate what I do for
- Now, now,. ..her mother
comforted, I am sure it was all just a
- No, mother, you
don't understand. I bought a frozen
turkey roll and he yelled and screamed
at me about the price!
- Well, the
nerve of that lousy cheapskate! says her
mom. Those turkey rolls are only ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 12 Aprilie 2005
A man walks into a bar and he's really
pissed. The bartender gives him a drink
and asks what the problem is. All he
- All lawyers are assholes.
A man sitting in the corner shouts:
- I take offense to that!
pissed off guy asks him:
- Why? Are
you a lawyer?
The other replies:
- No, I'm an asshole. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 30 Iunie 2006
The man told his doctor that he wasn't
able to do all the things around the
house that he used to do. When the
examination was complete, he said:
Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in
plain English what is wrong with me.
- Well, in plain English, the doctor
replied, you're just lazy.
said the man. Now give me the medical
term so I can tell my wife. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Iunie 2011