On some air bases, the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the...
propus: 10 Iul 2007
On some air bases, the Air Force is on
one side of the field and civilian
aircraft use the other side of the
field, with the control tower in the
middle. One day the tower received a
call from an aircraft asking, "What time
is it?" A US Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included 20 Admirals from the US, English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a reception, he found himself standing with a huge [...]
The tower responded, "Who is
The aircraft replied,
"What difference does it make?"
tower replied, "It makes a lot of
difference. If it is an American
Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it
is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours.
If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells.
If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand
is on the 12 and the little hand is on
the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft,
it's Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes
to 'Happy Hour.'"
banc precedent On a sunny morning, William's mother came into her son's room and said, William, it's Sunday. Time to get up! Time to get up and go to church! Get up! From under the covers came mumbles, I [...]
1. The sport of choice for the urban
poor is BASKETBALL.
2. The sport of
choice for maintenance level employees
3. The sport of choice
for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.
4. The sport of choice for
supervisors is BASEBALL.
sport of choice for middle management is
6. The sport of choice for
corporate officers is GOLF.
you are in ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004
A Czech goes to the optician who shows
him a card with the letters 'C Z W X
N Q S T A C Z'.
"Can you read
this?" the optician asks.
it?" the Czech replies, "I even know the
guy." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004
On the first day of school, the teacher
asked a student:
- What are your
The student replied:
- My father's name is Laughing and
my mother's name is Smiling.
- Are you kidding?
The student said:
- No, Kidding
is my brother. I am Joking. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 19 Martie 2015
- Cash, check or
charge? I asked, after folding items the
woman wished to purchase.
fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a
remote control for a television set in
- So, do you always carry
your TV remote? I asked.
- No, she
replied, but my husband refused to come
shopping with me, and I figured this was
the most evil thing I could do to him
legally. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 7 Mai 2010
A few years ago, I decided to visit my
brother who was stationed in Germany. I
assumed that most Germans would speak
English. But I found that many people
spoke only their native tongue -
including the ticket inspector on the
He punched my ticket, then
chatted cordially for a bit, making
gestures like a windmill. I simply
nodded from time to time to show him
that I was interested.
When ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 20 Octombrie 2006
Women are like apples on trees. The best
ones are at the top of the tree. Most
men don't want to reach for the good
ones because they are afraid of falling
and getting hurt. Instead, they just
take the rotten apples from the ground
that aren't as good, but easy.......
The apples at the top think something is
wrong with them, when in reality,
they're amazing. They just have to
wait for ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 5 Mai 2005
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus
stop with their 9 children. A blind man
joins them after a few minutes. When the
bus arrives, they find it overloaded and
only the wife and the 9 kids are able to
fit onto the bus.
husband and the blind man decide to
walk. After a while, the husband gets
irritated by the ticking of the stick of
the blind man as he taps it on the
sidewalk, and says ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 5 Octombrie 2006
There were these three nuns that were
killed in a traffic accident, and
immediately sent to the Pearly Gates.
As St. Peter was looking over their
files, he said, "You ladies have been
very good, but before I can let you in,
you have to answer a question." So he
asks the first nun,
- "What was the
name of the first man that God created?"
- "Adam," she replied. The lights
started flashing, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Iunie 2006
I am passing this on to you because it
definitely worked for me and we all
could use more calm in our lives. By
following the simple advice I heard on a
Dr. Phil show, I have finally found
inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed, "The
way to achieve inner peace is to finish
all the things you've started." So I
looked around my house to see all the
things I started and hadn't
finished, and before ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 30 Mai 2005
Drug-dealers vs software developers.
Drug dealers - Refer to their
clients as "users".
developers - Refer to their clients as
Drug dealers - "The
first one's free!"
developers - "Download a free trial
Drug dealers -
Have important South-East Asian
connections (to help move the stuff).
Software developers - Have important
South-East Asian ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 28 Aprilie 2006
Unexpected cold snaps had destroyed the
buds on my father's young peach tree for
two years in a row. This spring, Dad was
ready. He replanted the sapling in a
large box, mounted it on wheels, and put
the tree in the garage whenever the
One warm April
day, Dad was wheeling the tree out into
the yard, and he stopped to give our dog
a drink from the garden hose. A neighbor ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 14 Iunie 2007
Three kids come down to the kitchen and
sit around the breakfast table. The
mother asks the oldest boy what he would
like to eat.
- I would have some
****** French toast, he says.
mother is outraged at his language, hits
him, and sends him upstairs. She asks
the middle child what he wants.
Well, I guess that leaves more *******
French toast for me, he says.
livid, smacks him, and ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006