- 25th Wedding Anniversary - At the banquet of Tom and Susan's 25th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a...
propus: 21 Iun 2007
- 25th Wedding Anniversary - At a U2 concert in Ireland, Bono (the lead singer) asks the audience for some quiet. Then he starts to slowly clap his hands. Holding the audience in total silence, he says into the microphone... [...]
banquet of Tom and Susan's 25th wedding
anniversary, Tom was asked to give his
friends a brief account of the benefits
of a marriage of such long duration.
- Tell us, Tom, just what is it you
have learned from all those wonderful
years with your wife?
- Well, I've learned that marriage
is the best teacher of all. It teaches
you loyalty, forbearance, meekness,
self-restraint, forgiveness and a great
many other qualities you wouldn't have
needed if you'd stayed single.
banc precedent The 3 fastest ways of communication in the world are: 3. Tele-fax 2. Tele-phone 1. Tell-a-woman Need it faster? Ask her not to tell anyone!
News from Apple
announced today that is has developed a
computer chip that can store and play
music in women's breast implants.
The iBoob will cost between $499 and
This is considered to be
a major breakthrough, because women are
always complaining about men staring at
their breasts and not listening to them.
Thank to Apple, everyone is now
happy. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 28 Noiembrie 2007
Subject: Geography lesson for the Day
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
Between 18 and 20 a woman is
like Africa, half discovered, half wild,
naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.
Between 21 and 30 a woman is
like America, well-developed and open to
trade, especially for someone with cash.
Between 31 and 35 she is like
India, very hot, relaxed and
convinced of her own beauty.
Between ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 10 Noiembrie 2004
Two lawyers arrive at the pub and
ordered a couple of drinks. They then
take sandwiches from their briefcases
and began to eat.
Seeing this, the
angry publican approaches them and says,
'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own
sandwiches in here!'
The two look at
each other, shrug and exchange
sandwiches. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 Iunie 2011
A hamster and a rat were sitting on the
side of a swimming pool. They were
enjoying the sun. Suddenly the rat
turned to the hamster and asked him:
How come people
consider me a noisance, and you a pet?
How come people pay money to have
you, while they are trying to kill me?
How come you are considered a cute
little animal, while I am considered
creepy and disgusting?
How come you ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 Septembrie 2004
Sally phoned her husband, Bill, at work
for a chat.
"I'm sorry dear," said
Bill, "but I'm up to my neck in work
today. I don't have time to chat."
Sally replied, "But I've got some
good news and some bad news for you,
"OK, darling," said Bill,
"but as I've got no time right now, just
give me the good news."
Sally. "Well, the air bag works!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 7 August 2008
Thirty lines to make you smile.
1.. My husband and I divorced over
religious differences. He thought he was
God and I didn't.
2.. I don't suffer
from insanity; I enjoy every minute of
3.. I Work Hard Because Millions
On Welfare Depend on Me!
people are alive only because it's
illegal to kill them.
5.. I used to
have a handle on life, but it broke.
6.. Don't take life too ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 15 Februarie 2006
One day Jake, a nine-year-old, asked to
pack his own lunch for school. His mom
agreed. But they couldn't agree on what
he should pack, so they both made lists.
This was the mom's list:
A carton of milk
This was Jake's list:
to compromise. Sure enough, the next
morning, Jake was ready for school and
he packed his lunch. ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 12 Ianuarie 2007
01. While working with Mr. Ionescu, I
have always found him
studiously and sincerely at his table
03. gossiping with
colleagues in the office. He seldom
04. wastes his time on useless
things. Given a job, he always
finishes the given assignment in time.
He is always
06. deeply engrossed in
his official work, and can never be
07. found chitchatting in the
canteen. He ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Iunie 2011
See if you can do this. Read each line
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass
This is busy cat
This is for
This is forty cat
Now go back and
read the THIRD word
in each line
from the top.
Betcha you can't
resist passing it on. LOL! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 21 Noiembrie 2011
Friends of women:
A wife was
not at home for a whole night. So she
tells her husband, the very next
morning, that she stayed at her
girlfriend's apartment over night.
So the husband calls 10 of her best
girlfriends and none of them confirm
Friends of men:
A husband was not at home for a
whole night. So he tells his wife the
very next morning, that he stayed at his
friend's ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 28 Septembrie 2004
These individual quotes were reportedly
taken from actual employee performance
evaluations throughout the U.S.
Hopefully, none of us will be seeing
similar ones on ours.
- Since my
last report, this employee has reached
rock bottom and has started to dig.
- His men would follow him anywhere,
but only out of curiosity.
- I would
not allow this employee to breed.
This employee is really not ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 22 Septembrie 2006
Once upon a time there were two
One brother was very
mischievous, always getting into
The other brother,
however, was very good. He was always
kind to animals, helped elderly
neighbors, and led an exemplary life.
As time went on, the brothers
stayed in touch but were never close.
The evil brother became a heavy
drinker and a womanizer.
other brother was a ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 6 Aprilie 2006
- Cash, check or
charge? I asked, after folding items the
woman wished to purchase.
fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a
remote control for a television set in
- So, do you always carry
your TV remote? I asked.
- No, she
replied, but my husband refused to come
shopping with me, and I figured this was
the most evil thing I could do to him
legally. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 7 Mai 2010