A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or...
propus de: Marius pe data: 5 Iun 2007
A Spanish teacher was explaining to her
class that in Spanish, unlike English,
nouns are designated as either masculine
or feminine. I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Harold, the computer guy, to come over. Harold clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service [...]
"House" for instance,
is feminine: "la casa."
however, is masculine: "el lapiz."
student asked, "What gender is
Instead of giving the
answer, the teacher split the class into
two groups, male and female, and asked
them to decide for themselves whether
"computer" should be a masculine or a
feminine noun. Each group was asked to
give four reasons for its
The men's group
decided that "computer" should
definitely be of the feminine gender
("la computadora"), because:
one but their creator understands their
2. The native
language they use to communicate
with other computers is
incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are
stored in long term memory for possible
later retrieval; and
4. As soon as
you make a commitment to one, you find
yourself spending half your paycheck
on accessories for it.
The women's group,
however, concluded that computers should
be Masculine ("el computador"), because:
1. In order to do anything with
them, you have to turn them on;
They have a lot of data but still can't
think for themselves;
3. They are
supposed to help you solve problems, but
half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you
realize that if you had waited a little
longer, you could have gotten a better
The women won.
banc precedent A crew of highway maintenance workers was sent to repair some road signs that vandals had knocked down in a forested area. The first one they put back up was a symbol warning of a deer [...]
Three kids come down to the kitchen and
sit around the breakfast table. The
mother asks the oldest boy what he would
like to eat.
- I would have some
****** French toast, he says.
mother is outraged at his language, hits
him, and sends him upstairs. She asks
the middle child what he wants.
Well, I guess that leaves more *******
French toast for me, he says.
livid, smacks him, and ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006
When the new patient was settled
comfortably on the couch, the
psychiatrist began his therapy session.
"I'm not aware of your problem," the
doctor said. "So perhaps, you should
start at the very beginning."
course," replied the patient. "In the
beginning, I created the heavens and the
earth..." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 19 Iulie 2007
George B.: Condi! Nice to see you.
Sir, I have the report here about the
new leader of China.
Great. Lay it on me.
Hu is the new leader of China.
George B.: That's what I want to
Condoleeza R.: That's what I'm
George B.: That's what
I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of
Condoleeza R.: Yes.
George B.: I ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 12 Septembrie 2006
A psychiatrist was conducting a group
therapy session with four young mothers
and their small children...
all have obsessions, he observed.
the first mother, Mary, he said:
You are obsessed with eating. You've
even named your daughter Candy.
turned to the second Mom, Ann:
Your obsession is money. Again, it
manifests itself in your child's name,
He turns to the third ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 17 Ianuarie 2007
Gravitation is not responsible for
people falling in love.
think of the future. It comes soon
The only thing that
interferes with my learning is my
Education is what remains
after one has forgotten everything he
learned in school.
Two things are
infinite: the universe and human
stupidity; and I'm not sure about
Wire telegraph is a
kind of a very, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 12 Aprilie 2005
A baby polar bear comes up to his mother
and asks, "Momma, am I a polar bear?"
"Why, yes, son, of course you are a
polar bear," she replies, sending him
out to play.
later, he returns. "Momma, are you
absolutely sure I am a polar bear?"
"Yes, son, absolutely sure. Now go
later, he returns asking, "Momma, you're
sure I'm 100% polar bear?"
"Yes, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 13 August 2008
Recently while going through an airport
during one of his many trips, President
Bush encountered a man with long hair,
wearing a white robe, and sandals,
holding a staff.
Bush went up to the man and said,
"Aren't you Moses?" The man never
answered but just kept staring straight
ahead. Again the President said,
"Moses!" in a loud voice. The man just
kept staring ahead, never ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 5 Aprilie 2005
In order to assure the highest level of
quality work and productivity from
employees it will be our policy to keep
all employees well trained through our
program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY
TRAINING (S.H.I.T) ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 19 Iulie 2007
Hearing so many people speaking about
his intelligence level, George "double
you" Bush decided to get his brain
The physician diagnosis was
- Mr. President, you
have two brains, the left and the right,
like all normal people. But the problem
is that in your left brain there is
nothing right and in your right brain
there is nothing left. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 10 Mai 2005
A Czech goes to the optician who shows
him a card with the letters 'C Z W X
N Q S T A C Z'.
"Can you read
this?" the optician asks.
it?" the Czech replies, "I even know the
guy." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004
A man called home to his wife and said,
"Honey I have been asked to go
fishing up in Canada with my boss &
several of his friends. We'll be
gone for a week. This is a good
opportunity for me to get that promotion
I've been wanting so could you
please pack enough clothes for a week
and set out my rod and fishing box?
We're leaving from the office & I
will swing by the house to pick ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004
A lady about eight months pregnant got
on a bus. She noticed the man opposite
her was smiling at her. So she
immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned to a
grin, so she moved again. The man seemed
even more amused. When, on the fourth
move, the man burst out laughing, she
complained to the driver and he had the
The case came up in
court. The judge asked the man ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 2 Iulie 2007
A property manager of an apartment
complex was showing a unit to
prospective tenants and asking the usual
employed?" he asked.
military family," the wife answered.
"Oh, yes, ages nine
and twelve," she answered proudly.
"Oh, no," she said
earnestly. "They're very well behaved." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 23 Aprilie 2008
1. Project Manager is a person who
thinks nine women can deliver a baby in
2. Developer is a person
who thinks it will take 18 months to
deliver a baby.
Coordinator is one who thinks a single
woman can deliver nine babies in one
4. Client is the one who
doesn't know why he wants a baby.
5. Marketing Manager is a person who
thinks he can deliver a baby even if ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 11 Aprilie 2005