A ragged individual stranded for several months on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean noticed a bottle...
propus: 23 Mai 2007
Worst Things To Say On A First Date:
- I used to have a real bad
bedwetting problem... but the last
couple of weeks I've gotten it under
- I know we just met and
this might seem a little sudden. .. but
could I borrow five hundred dollars?
- Go ahead and Super Size - I found
spare change in the sofa today.
Something tells me that you're very
special... but with medication I can ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 14 Februarie 2007
Jack and Max are walking from religious
service. Jack wonders whether it would
be all right to smoke while praying. Max
replies, "Why don't you ask the
Priest?" So Jack goes up to the Priest
and asks, "Priest, may I smoke while I
But the Priest says,
"No, my son, you may not. That's
utter disrespect to our religion."
Jack goes back to his friend and
tells him what the good ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 1 Septembrie 2004
Students at a school were asked to write
about the harmful effects of oil on
One 11-year-old wrote, "When
my mom opened a tin of sardines last
night, it was full of oil and all the
sardines were dead." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 4 Mai 2007
Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes
That’s not right = Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harbouring a fugitive =
Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP = Kum
4) Stupid Man = Dum Fuk
Small Horse = Tai Ni Po Ni
you go to the beach = Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped the coffee table = Ai
Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you
need a face lift = Chin Tu Fat
It’s Very dark in here = Wai So Dim
10) ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 28 Noiembrie 2006
Two women came before wise King Solomon,
dragging between them a young man in a
"This young lawyer
agreed to marry my daughter," said one.
"No! He agreed to marry MY
daughter," said the other.
they haggled before the king until he
called for silence.
"Bring me my
biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I
shall hew the young attorney in half.
Each of you shall receive a ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 17 Octombrie 2006
Our pastor, an avid golfer, was once
taking part in a local tournament. As he
was preparing to tee off, the organizer
of the tournament approached him and
pointed to the dark, threatening storm
clouds that were gathering.
"Preacher," the organizer said, "I
trust you'll see to it that the weather
won't turn bad on us."
shook his head. "Sorry," he replied.
"I'm sales, not management!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 29 Octombrie 2008
There is more money being spent on
breast implants and Viagra today than on
Alzheimer's research. This means that by
2040, there should be a large elderly
population with perky boobs and huge
erections and absolutely no recollection
of what to do with them. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 23 Februarie 2007
- Pythagorean theorem: 24 words.
The Lord's Prayer: 66 words.
Archimedes' Principle: 67 words.
The 10 Commandments: 179 words.
The Gettysburg address: 286 words.
The Declaration of Independence: 1,300
- - - The US Government
regulations on the sale of cabbage:
26,911 words!!! - - - ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 10 Aprilie 2007
A man called home to his wife and said,
"Honey I have been asked to go
fishing up in Canada with my boss &
several of his friends. We'll be
gone for a week. This is a good
opportunity for me to get that promotion
I've been wanting so could you
please pack enough clothes for a week
and set out my rod and fishing box?
We're leaving from the office & I
will swing by the house to pick ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004
A truck driver had to deliver five
hundred penguins to the state zoo. As he
was driving his truck through the
desert, the truck broke down.
After waiting by the side of the
road for about three hours, he waved
another truck down and offered the
driver $500 to take the penguins to the
state zoo for him.
day, the first truck driver arrived in
town and saw the second truck driver ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 3 Decembrie 2007
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN
THINGS THAT ARE VERY
DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
THINGS THAT ARE
DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. No thanks, I'm married.
Nope, no more booze for me!
Sorry, but ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 22 Mai 2008
A new missionary recruit went to
Venezuela for the first time. He was
struggling with the language and didn't
understand a whole lot of what was going
on. Intending to visit one of the local
churches, he got lost, but he eventually
got back on track and found the place.
Having arrived late, the church was
already packed. The only pew left was
the one on the front row.
not to make a fool ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 21 Februarie 2007
First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet
School were receiving theirfirst anatomy
class, with a real dead cow. They all
gathered around the surgery table with
the body covered with a white sheet. The
professor started the class by telling
- In vet medicine it is
necessary to have two important
qualities as a doctor: the first is that
you not be disgusted by anything
involving the animal ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 2 Mai 2007