A clergyman, walking down a country lane, saw a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off. -...
propus: 3 Mai 2007
A clergyman, walking down a country
lane, saw a young farmer struggling to
load hay back onto a cart after it had
fallen off. First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet School were receiving theirfirst anatomy class, with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. [...]
- You look tired, my
son, said the cleric. Why don't you rest
a moment, and I'll give you a hand.
- No thanks, said the young man. My
father wouldn't approve.
- Don't be
silly, the minister said. Everyone is
entitled to a break. Come and have a
drink of water.
Again the young man
protested that his father would be
upset. Losing his patience just a
little, the clergyman said:
father must be a real slave driver. Tell
me where I can find him and I'll give
him a piece of my mind!
replied the young farmer, you can tell
him whatever you like just as soon as I
get this hay off him.
banc precedent Students at a school were asked to write about the harmful effects of oil on fish. One 11-year-old wrote, When my mom opened a tin of sardines last night, it was full of oil and all the sardines [...]
Last night I went to a 24-hour grocery.
When I got there, the guy was locking
the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign
says you're open 24 hours." He goes:
"Not in a row!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006
Tom Thumb, Sleeping Beauty, and
Quasimodo were all talking one day.
Sleeping Beauty said:
believe myself to be the most beautiful
girl in the world.
Tom Thumb said:
- I must be the smallest person in
absolutely have to be the ugliest person
in the world.
They decided to
go to the Guinness Book of World Records
to have their claims verified.
Sleeping ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 15 Martie 2005
With a couple celebrating their 50th
anniversary at the church's marriage
marathon, the minister asked Brother
Ralph to take a few minutes and share
some insight into how he managed to live
with the same woman all these years.
The husband replied to the
audience, "Well, I treated her with
respect, spent money on her, but mostly
I took her traveling on special
The minister ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Februarie 2007
A man called home to his wife and said,
"Honey I have been asked to go
fishing up in Canada with my boss &
several of his friends. We'll be
gone for a week. This is a good
opportunity for me to get that promotion
I've been wanting so could you
please pack enough clothes for a week
and set out my rod and fishing box?
We're leaving from the office & I
will swing by the house to pick ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004
A lady about eight months pregnant got
on a bus. She noticed the man opposite
her was smiling at her. So she
immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned to a
grin, so she moved again. The man seemed
even more amused. When, on the fourth
move, the man burst out laughing, she
complained to the driver and he had the
The case came up in
court. The judge asked the man ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 2 Iulie 2007
Statement: Senior Citizens Are Valuable!
We are more valuable than any of the
- We have
silver in our hair.
- We have gold
in our teeth.
- We have stones in
- We have lead in our
- We are loaded with
natural gas ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 26 Februarie 2008
A mother and a daughter are shopping in
the mall, when the mother eyes an
expensive fur coat.
"This year," she
says, "I think that I will buy my
present instead of making you and Dad
shop for me." The daughter nods in
agreement. "And I think this fur coat
would be perfect too."
protests, "But Mom, some helpless, poor
creature has to suffer so that you can
"Don't worry, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 7 Februarie 2008
George Bush is visiting the Queen of
England. He asks her, "Your Majesty, how
do you run such an efficient government?
Are there any tips you can give me?"
"Well," says the Queen, "the
most important thing is to surround
yourself with intelligent people.
"Bush frowns. "But how do I know the
people around me are really
The Queen takes a
sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy. You just ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 14 Iulie 2006
Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a
Donkey from a farmer for $100. The
farmer agreed to deliver the Donkey the
The next day he drove
up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some
bad News, the donkey died.' Chuck
replied, 'Well, then just give me my
money back.' The farmer said, 'Can't
do that. I went and spent it already.'
Chuck said, 'Ok, then, just
bring me the dead ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 14 Octombrie 2008
Little Logan and his family were having
Thanksgiving dinner at his grandmother's
house. Everyone was seated round the
table as the food was being served. When
little Logan received his plate, he
started eating right away.
wait until we say our prayer, his mother
- I don't need to, the
little boy replied.
- Of course you
do! his mother insisted, We say a prayer
before ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 21 Noiembrie 2006
When Charles de Gaulle decided to retire
from public life, the British ambassador
and his wife threw a gala dinner party
in his honor. At the dinner table, the
Ambassador’s wife was talking with
- Your husband has
been such a prominent public figure,
such a presence on the French and
international scene for so many years!
How quiet retirement will seem in
comparison. What ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 6 Martie 2009
A man drinks a shot of whisky every
night before bed. After years of this,
his wife wants him to quit; she gets two
shot glasses, filling one with water and
the other with whisky.
him to the table that has the glasses,
she brings his bait box. She says, "I
want you to see this." She puts a worm
in the water, and it swims around.
She puts a worm in the whisky, and
the worm dies ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 8 Decembrie 2006
A man is walking along a cliff and all
of a sudden loses his balance, slips,
and falls off. Fortunately, he has the
presence of mind to grab on to the edge,
and he's hanging there for dear life. He
hangs and hangs an finally yells out:
"Is there anybody up there who can help
There's no answer.
calling and calling. "Is there anybody
up there who can help me?".
this big ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 20 August 2007