First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet School were receiving theirfirst anatomy class, with a real dead cow. They all gathered...
propus: 2 Mai 2007
First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet
School were receiving theirfirst anatomy
class, with a real dead cow. They all
gathered around the surgery table with
the body covered with a white sheet. The
professor started the class by telling
them: A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed, and left for dead. She described the situation in vivid detail so her students would [...]
- In vet medicine it is
necessary to have two important
qualities as a doctor: the first is that
you not be disgusted by anything
involving the animal body.
example, the Professor pulled back the
sheet, stuck hisfinger in the butt of
the dead cow, withdrew it and stuck
hisfinger in his mouth:
- Go ahead
and do the same thing, he told his
The students freaked out,
hesitated for several minutes. But
eventually took turns sticking a finger
in the anal opening of the dead cow and
sucking on it. When everyone finished,
the Professor looked at them and told
- The second most important
quality is observation. I stuck in my
middle finger and sucked on my index
finger. Now learn to pay attention.
banc precedent A clergyman, walking down a country lane, saw a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off. - You look tired, my son, said the cleric. Why don't you rest a [...]
A Czech goes to the optician who shows
him a card with the letters 'C Z W X
N Q S T A C Z'.
"Can you read
this?" the optician asks.
it?" the Czech replies, "I even know the
guy." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004
"Davey, what sound does a cow make?"
Davey replied, "It goes 'moo.'"
"Alice, what sound does a cat make?"
Alice said, "It goes 'meow.'"
"Jamie, what sound does a lamb
Jamie said, "It goes 'baaa.'"
"Jennifer, what sound does a
Jennifer paused, and
said, "Uhh. .. it goes. .. 'click!'" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 14 August 2007
A Spanish teacher was explaining to her
class that in Spanish, unlike English,
nouns are designated as either masculine
"House" for instance,
is feminine: "la casa."
however, is masculine: "el lapiz."
student asked, "What gender is
Instead of giving the
answer, the teacher split the class into
two groups, male and female, and asked
them to decide for ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 5 Iunie 2007
You are driving along in your car on a
wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus
stop, and you see three people waiting
for the bus:
1. An old lady who
looks as if she is about to die.
An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect man (or) woman you
have been dreaming about.
would you choose to offer a ride to,
knowing that there could only be one
passenger in your car. ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 16 Mai 2005
News from Apple
announced today that is has developed a
computer chip that can store and play
music in women's breast implants.
The iBoob will cost between $499 and
This is considered to be
a major breakthrough, because women are
always complaining about men staring at
their breasts and not listening to them.
Thank to Apple, everyone is now
happy. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 28 Noiembrie 2007
THE WORLD'S SHORTEST FAIRY TALE:
Once upon a time a guy asked a girl:
"Will you marry me?" The girl said "NO!"
And the guy lived happily ever after and
went fishing, hunting and played golf a
lot and drank beer and farted whenever
THE END ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 16 Ianuarie 2006
There is this good old barber in one
city in the US.
- One day a florist
goes to him for a haircut. After the
cut, he goes to pay the barber and the
barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot
accept money from you. I am doing
community service." The Florist is happy
and leaves the shop. The next morning
when the barber goes to open his shop,
there is a thank you card and a dozen
roses waiting at his ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 9 Februarie 2006
Year 1981 =========
Charles got married
crowned Champions of Europe
Year 2005 =========
1. Prince Charles got married
2. Liverpool crowned
Champions of Europe (again)
*** In Future,
Charles wants to re-marry
Liverpool needs another crown. .... POOR
POPE....!! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 23 August 2005
In an airplane the captain tells the
- This is your captain
speaking. We are losing altitude and we
do not have enough fuel to reach land.
Therefore, we have to let all the
baggage leave the airplane.
airplane gains altitude again. Half an
hour later the airplane begins losing
altitude again and the captain is on the
loudspeakers once more:
- This is
your captain speaking. We ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 31 Iulie 2006
A property manager of an apartment
complex was showing a unit to
prospective tenants and asking the usual
employed?" he asked.
military family," the wife answered.
"Oh, yes, ages nine
and twelve," she answered proudly.
"Oh, no," she said
earnestly. "They're very well behaved." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 23 Aprilie 2008
I was having trouble with my computer.
So I called Harold, the computer guy, to
come over. Harold clicked a couple of
buttons and solved the problem. He gave
me a bill for a minimum service call.
As he was walking away, I called
after him, "So, what was wrong?"
replied, "It was an 'ID ten T' error."
I didn't want to appear stupid, but
I nonetheless inquired, "An ID ten T
Error? What's that, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 4 Iunie 2007
These individual quotes were reportedly
taken from actual employee performance
evaluations throughout the U.S.
Hopefully, none of us will be seeing
similar ones on ours.
- Since my
last report, this employee has reached
rock bottom and has started to dig.
- His men would follow him anywhere,
but only out of curiosity.
- I would
not allow this employee to breed.
This employee is really not ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 22 Septembrie 2006
An eighteen-year-old girl tells her Mom
that she has missed her period for two
months. Very worried, the mother goes to
the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit.
The test result shows that the girl is
Shouting, crying, the
mother says, "Who did this to you? I
want to know!"
The girl picks up the
phone and makes a call. Half an hour
later a Ferrari stops in front of their
house; a mature ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004