A hamster and a rat were sitting on the side of a swimming pool. They were enjoying the sun. Suddenly the rat turned to the...
propus: 8 Sep 2004
A hamster and a rat were sitting on the
side of a swimming pool. They were
enjoying the sun. Suddenly the rat
turned to the hamster and asked him:
Dude,
How come people
consider me a noisance, and you a pet?
How come people pay money to have
you, while they are trying to kill me?
How come you are considered a cute
little animal, while I am considered
creepy and disgusting?
How come you
live in a warm home, and I have to stay
in the sewer?
So the hamster
answered: "It is branding, dude."
Barbara Walters of 20/20 did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked about 5 paces behind their [...]
banc precedent On a flight to Chicago, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied. The flight attendant noticed his predicament. Sir, she said, You may [...]
banc urmator
There is this good old barber in one
city in the US.
- One day a florist
goes to him for a haircut. After the
cut, he goes to pay the barber and the
barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot
accept money from you. I am doing
community service." The Florist is happy
and leaves the shop. The next morning
when the barber goes to open his shop,
there is a thank you card and a dozen
roses waiting at his
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 9 Februarie 2006
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful
daughters but always talked about having
a son. They decided to try one last time
for the son they always wanted.
The
wife got pregnant and delivered a
healthy baby boy. The joyful father
rushed to the nursery to see his new
son. He was horrified at the ugliest
child he had ever seen.
He told his
wife:
'There's no way I can be the
father of this baby.
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 3 Iunie 2008
The Pope is visiting Washington, D.C.,
and President Bush takes him out for an
afternoon on the Potomac, cruising on
the Presidential yacht, the Sequoia.
They're admiring the sights when, all of
a sudden, the Pope's hat (zucchetto)
blows off his head and out into the
water.
Secret Service guys start to
launch a boat, but President Bush waves
them off, saying, "Wait, wait. I'll take
care of this.
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 28 Iulie 2006
Two women came before wise King Solomon,
dragging between them a young man in a
three-piece suit.
"This young lawyer
agreed to marry my daughter," said one.
"No! He agreed to marry MY
daughter," said the other.
And so
they haggled before the king until he
called for silence.
"Bring me my
biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I
shall hew the young attorney in half.
Each of you shall receive a
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 17 Octombrie 2006
All eyes were on the radiant bride as
her father escorted her down the aisle.
They reached the altar and the waiting
groom; the bride kissed her father and
placed something in his hand. The guests
in the front pews, and the minister,
responded with ripples of laughter. As
her father gave her away in marriage,
the bride had given him back his credit
card.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 28 Noiembrie 2006
A man drinks a shot of whisky every
night before bed. After years of this,
his wife wants him to quit; she gets two
shot glasses, filling one with water and
the other with whisky.
After getting
him to the table that has the glasses,
she brings his bait box. She says, "I
want you to see this." She puts a worm
in the water, and it swims around.
She puts a worm in the whisky, and
the worm dies
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 8 Decembrie 2006
Heaven is where the police are British,
the chefs Italian, the mechanics German,
the lovers French and it is all
organized by the Swiss.
Hell is
where police are German, the chefs
British, the mechanics French, the
lovers Swiss and it is all organized by
the Italians.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 29 Noiembrie 2005
A couple was going out for the evening.
They'd gotten ready, all dolled up,
dog put out, etc. The taxi arrives, and
as the couple start out, the dog shoots
back in the house. They don't want
the dog shut in the house,so the wife
goes out to the taxi while the husband
goes upstairs to chase the dog out.
The wife, not wanting it known that
the house will be empty explains to the
taxi
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004
First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet
School were receiving theirfirst anatomy
class, with a real dead cow. They all
gathered around the surgery table with
the body covered with a white sheet. The
professor started the class by telling
them:
- In vet medicine it is
necessary to have two important
qualities as a doctor: the first is that
you not be disgusted by anything
involving the animal
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 2 Mai 2007
Robert went to his lawyer and said:
- I would like to make a will, but I
don't know exactly how to go about it.
The lawyer smiled at Robert and
replied:
- Not a problem, leave it
all to me.
Robert looked somewhat
upset and said:
- Well, I knew you
were going to take a big portion, but I
would like to leave a little to my
family too!
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 Iunie 2011
The Liverpool manager flies to Baghdad
to watch a young iraqi play football and
is suitably impressed and arranges him
to come over to Anfield.
Two
weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down to
Man Utd with only 20 minutes left. The
manager gives the young Iraqi striker
the nod and on he goes.
The lad
is a sensation, scores 5 in 20 minutes
and wins the game for Liverpool.
The fans are delighted,
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 13 Februarie 2006
A Chinese couple got married. When a
baby girl was born, her eyes were big
and blue, hair was curly and blonde,
skin was brown. Finally, the father
named the baby SUM TING RONG."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 11 Septembrie 2006