A hamster and a rat were sitting on the side of a swimming pool. They were enjoying the sun. Suddenly the rat turned to the...
propus: 8 Sep 2004
A hamster and a rat were sitting on the
side of a swimming pool. They were
enjoying the sun. Suddenly the rat
turned to the hamster and asked him:
Barbara Walters of 20/20 did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked about 5 paces behind their [...]
How come people
consider me a noisance, and you a pet?
How come people pay money to have
you, while they are trying to kill me?
How come you are considered a cute
little animal, while I am considered
creepy and disgusting?
How come you
live in a warm home, and I have to stay
in the sewer?
So the hamster
answered: "It is branding, dude."
banc precedent On a flight to Chicago, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied. The flight attendant noticed his predicament. Sir, she said, You may [...]
This is an actual job application that a
75 year old senior citizen submitted to
Walmart in Arkansas. They hired him
because he was so funny.
- - - - - -
- - - - -
NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy
SEX: Not lately, but I am
looking for the right woman (or at least
one who will cooperate)
POSITION: Company's President or Vice
President. But seriously, whatever's
available. If I was in ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 21 Noiembrie 2006
- Pythagorean theorem: 24 words.
The Lord's Prayer: 66 words.
Archimedes' Principle: 67 words.
The 10 Commandments: 179 words.
The Gettysburg address: 286 words.
The Declaration of Independence: 1,300
- - - The US Government
regulations on the sale of cabbage:
26,911 words!!! - - - ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 10 Aprilie 2007
Three engineering students were gathered
together discussing the possible
designers of the human body.
said, "It was a mechanical engineer."
Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an
electrical engineer. The nervous system
has many thousands of electrical
The last one said,
"Actually it must have been a civil
engineer. Who else would run a toxic
waste ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005
One Sunday morning, everyone in a
bright, beautiful, tiny town got up
early and went to the local church.
Before the services started, the
townspeople were sitting in their pews
and talking about their lives, their
appeared at the front of the church.
Everyone started screaming and running
for the front entrance, trampling each
other in a frantic effort to get ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 5 Aprilie 2007
Man: Can I
ask you something?
Man: What is for you a million of
God: A second.
a million of dollars?
God: A penny.
Man: God, Can you give me a penny?
God: Wait a second! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 27 Octombrie 2005
A clergyman, walking down a country
lane, saw a young farmer struggling to
load hay back onto a cart after it had
- You look tired, my
son, said the cleric. Why don't you rest
a moment, and I'll give you a hand.
- No thanks, said the young man. My
father wouldn't approve.
- Don't be
silly, the minister said. Everyone is
entitled to a break. Come and have a
drink of water.
Again ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 3 Mai 2007
Amazingly simple home remedies:
Avoid cutting yourself when slicing
vegetables by getting someone else to
hold the vegetables while you chop.
2. Avoid arguments with the females
about lifting the toilet seat by using
3. For high blood pressure
sufferers: Simply cut yourself and bleed
for a few minutes, thus reducing the
pressure on your veins. Remember to use
4. A mouse ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 9 Noiembrie 2008
1. I feel like I'm
diagonally parked in a parallel
2. On the other hand,
it's better to have fingers than toes.
3. A day without sunshine is
like. .. night!
4. How many of
you believe in psycho-kenisis? Raise my
5. Everyone has a
photographic memory, but some don't have
6. When everything is
coming your way. .. you're in the wrong
lane. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 17 August 2006
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing
problems for a number of years. He went
to the doctor and the doctor was able to
have him fitted for a set of hearing
aids that allowed the gentleman to hear
The elderly gentleman
went back in a month to the doctor and
the doctor said:
- Your hearing is
perfect. Your family must be really
pleased that you can hear again.
To which the gentleman ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 19 Noiembrie 2013
My girlfriend called me as she was
driving to an appointment. She arrived,
and I could tell from her voice that she
was getting frustrated. Finally she
- I know I had my cell phone
with me. And
now I can't find it!
- Aren't you talking
There was a solid period of
stunned silence as the reality of the
situation sank in - followed by:
You are NOT going to tell ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 1 Februarie 2008
A wife asked her husband: "What do you
like most in me, my pretty face or my
He looked at her from
head to toes and replied after a pause:
"I like your sense of humor!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 10 Ianuarie 2005
A new young bride calls her mother in
doesn't appreciate what I do for
- Now, now,. ..her mother
comforted, I am sure it was all just a
- No, mother, you
don't understand. I bought a frozen
turkey roll and he yelled and screamed
at me about the price!
- Well, the
nerve of that lousy cheapskate! says her
mom. Those turkey rolls are only ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 12 Aprilie 2005
I am not sure exactly how this works,
but this is amazingly accurate.
picture below has two identical dolphins
in it. It was used in a case study on
stress levels at the Mayo Clinic and
later at Fletcher Medical Center in
Look at both dolphins
jumping out of the water. The dolphins
are identical. A closely monitored,
scientific study revealed that, in spite
of the fact that ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 25 Martie 2008
See if you can do this. Read each line
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass
This is busy cat
This is for
This is forty cat
Now go back and
read the THIRD word
in each line
from the top.
Betcha you can't
resist passing it on. LOL! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 21 Noiembrie 2011