A hamster and a rat were sitting on the side of a swimming pool. They were enjoying the sun. Suddenly the rat turned to the...
Banc din categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
propus: 8 Sep 2004
A hamster and a rat were sitting on the side of a swimming pool. They were enjoying the sun. Suddenly the rat turned to the hamster and asked him:
banc precedent On a flight to Chicago, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied. The flight attendant noticed his predicament. Sir, she said, You may [...]
banc urmator
- Comenteaza
- 8.8 din 12 note
Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan asked "Why"?
A: The animals told him. Your tail is in front". ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Februarie 2007
Error messages:
1. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
2. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
3. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
4. This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?
5. Windows message: "Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)"
6. To "shut down" your system, type "WIN"
7. BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 10 Noiembrie 2004
An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas.
Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.
Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"
Margaret looked him over.. "Nope."
Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 27 Ianuarie 2009
I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. "Why?" my daughter asked. "Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been, it'sdirty and probably has germs" I replied. At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 22 Martie 2007
My grandmother is a computer geek. She also has trouble remembering quickly sometimes. One day she couldn't think of what she wanted to tell us.
Mom explained, "Your grandma is trying to retrieve the information, but it is taking awhile. Evidently she hasn't defragmented her hard drive lately." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 8 Octombrie 2007
A couple is lying in bed. The man says: "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman says: "I'll miss you." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 9 Iunie 2005
Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man in a three-piece suit.
"This young lawyer agreed to marry my daughter," said one.
"No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other.
And so they haggled before the king until he called for silence.
"Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I shall hew the young attorney in half. Each of you shall receive a ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 17 Octombrie 2006
Bono is at a U2 concert in Dublin when he asks the audience for some quiet.
Then, in the silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands.
He says into the microphone, in a deep solemn voice...
"Just for a moment, think outside yourself... Outside this arena... Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."
A loud Irish voice from near the front pierces the moment...
"Well, ya ****** ****, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 27 Octombrie 2006
With a couple celebrating their 50th anniversary at the church's marriage marathon, the minister asked Brother Ralph to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he managed to live with the same woman all these years.
The husband replied to the audience, "Well, I treated her with respect, spent money on her, but mostly I took her traveling on special occasions."
The minister ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Februarie 2007
Success is just like being pregnant.
Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you tried! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 24 Iulie 2009
A couple was going out for the evening. They'd gotten ready, all dolled up, dog put out, etc. The taxi arrives, and as the couple start out, the dog shoots back in the house. They don't want the dog shut in the house,so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the dog out.
The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004
A guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one spend eternity in.
In the first room, people are standing in shit up to their necks. The guy says "no, let me see the next room."
In the second room, people are standing with shit up to their noses. Guy says no again.
Finally, Satan opens the door to the third room. People are standing ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006
A clergyman, walking down a country lane, saw a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off.
- You look tired, my son, said the cleric. Why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand.
- No thanks, said the young man. My father wouldn't approve.
- Don't be silly, the minister said. Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water.
Again ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 3 Mai 2007
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN
DRUNK: 1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Tran substantiate
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. No thanks, I'm married.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 22 Mai 2008
Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 7 Martie 2005