Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency? Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes...
propus: 12 Apr 2007
An engineer was crossing a road one-day
when a frog called out to him and said:
- If you kiss me, I'll turn into a
beautiful princess.
He bent over, picked up the frog and put
it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said:
- If you kiss me and turn me back into a
beautiful princess, I will stay with you
for one week.
The engineer took the frog out of his
pocket, smiled at it and returned
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005
Each Friday night after work, Bubba
would fire up his outdoor grill and cook
venison steak. But all of Bubba's
neighbors were Catholic, and since it
was Lent, they were forbidden from
eating red meat on Friday.
The delicious aroma from the grilled
venison steaks was causing such a
problem for the Catholic faithful that
they finally talked to their priest.
The priest came to visit Bubba and
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 8 Martie 2007
A father was trying to teach his young
son the evils of alcohol.
He put one worm in a glass of water and
another worm in a glass of
whiskey. The worm in the water lived,
while the one in the whiskey
curled up and died.
"All right, son," asked the father,
"what does that show you?"
"Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink
alcohol, you will not have
worms."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 August 2008
Some lines:
1. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in
a parallel universe.
2. On the other hand, it's better to
have fingers than toes.
3. A day without sunshine is like. ..
night!
4. How many of you believe in
psycho-kenisis? Raise my hand.
5. Everyone has a photographic memory,
but some don't have any film.
6. When everything is coming your way.
.. you're in the wrong lane.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 17 August 2006
Manning the computer help desk for the
local school district was my first job.
And though I was just an intern, I took
the job very seriously. But not every
caller took me seriously.
- Can I talk to a real person? a caller
asked.
- I am real, I said.
- Oh, I'm sorry, the caller said. That
was rude of me. What I meant to say was,
could I talk to someone who actually
knows something?
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 14 Martie 2008
A property manager of an apartment
complex was showing a unit to
prospective tenants and asking the usual
questions.
"Professionally employed?" he asked.
"We're a military family," the wife
answered.
"Children?"
"Oh, yes, ages nine and twelve," she
answered proudly.
"Animals?"
"Oh, no," she said earnestly. "They're
very well behaved."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 23 Aprilie 2008
A young husband comes home one night,
and his wife throws her arms around his
neck: "Darling, I have great news:
I'm a month overdue. I think
we're going to have a baby! The
doctor gave me a test today, but until
we find out for sure, we can't tell
anybody."
The next day, a guy from the electric
company rings the door-bell, because the
young couple hasn't paid their last
bill:
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 31 August 2004
A Czech goes to the optician who shows
him a card with the letters 'C Z W X
N Q S T A C Z'.
"Can you read this?" the optician asks.
"Read it?" the Czech replies, "I even
know the guy."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 31 August 2004
A real estate agent had just closed his
first deal, only to discover that the
piece of land he had sold was completely
under water.
"That customer's going to come back here
pretty mad," he said to his boss.
"Should I give him his money back?"
"Money back?" roared the boss. "What
kind of salesman are you? Get out there
and sell him a houseboat!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Noiembrie 2006
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets
pulled over by a Cop. He thinks he is
smarter than the Cop so he decides to
have some fun at the Cop's expense.
Cop says:
- License and registration, please.
Lawyer says:
- What for?
Cop says:
- You didn't come to a complete stop at
the stop sign.
Lawyer says:
- I slowed down, and no one was coming.
Cop says:
- Exactly! License and registration,
please.
Lawyer
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 22 Noiembrie 2005
A new missionary recruit went to
Venezuela for the first time. He was
struggling with the language and didn't
understand a whole lot of what was going
on. Intending to visit one of the local
churches, he got lost, but he eventually
got back on track and found the place.
Having arrived late, the church was
already packed. The only pew left was
the one on the front row.
So as not to make a fool of
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 21 Februarie 2007