Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook venison steak. But all of Bubba's neighbors were...
propus: 8 Mar 2007
Each Friday night after work, Bubba
would fire up his outdoor grill and cook
venison steak. But all of Bubba's
neighbors were Catholic, and since it
was Lent, they were forbidden from
eating red meat on Friday. A pickpocket was appearing in court for a series of petty crimes. Mr. Brewster, the judge said, you are hereby found guilty and fined the sum of $150. After consulting with his client, Mr. [...]
delicious aroma from the grilled venison
steaks was causing such a problem for
the Catholic faithful that they finally
talked to their priest.
came to visit Bubba and suggested that
he become a Catholic.
classes and much study, Bubba attended
The priest sprinkled holy
water over him and said, "You were born
a Baptist and raised as a Baptist, but
now you are Catholic."
neighbors were greatly relieved, until
Friday night arrived and the wonderful
aroma of grilled venison filled the
neighborhood. The priest was called
immediately by the neighbors.
priest rushed into Bubba's yard,
clutching a rosary and prepared to scold
him, he stopped and watched in
There stood Bubba,
clutching a small bottle of holy water,
which he carefully sprinkled over the
grilling meat while chanting, "You wuz
born a deer, you wuz raised a deer, but
now you are a catfish."
banc precedent A man visited a psychiatrist to talk about his dreams. Every night, the man said, I dream that these three hideous monsters are sitting on the edge of my bed, ready to attack me. Hmmm, [...]
There are 2 people always next to you:
The Manager, smiling pleasantly to
hide evil intentions!
Leader, busy figuring out what work to
dump on you next...
YOU, who struggles with it all! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 22 Iunie 2008
A young man married a beautiful woman
who had previously divorced ten
husbands. She told her new husband,
"Please be gentle with me, as for me
it's the first time."
the puzzled groom. "How can that be if
you've been married ten times?"
"Well, husband #1 was a Sales
Representative; he kept telling me how
great it was going to be."
#2 was in Software Services; he was
never ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 2 August 2006
I'm sorry that you haven't
gotten much email from me lately.
It's because I'm tired. For a
couple years I've been blaming it on
iron poor blood, lack of vitamins,
dieting and a dozen other maladies. But
now I found out the real reason. I'm
tired because I'm overworked.
The population of this country is
237 million. 104 million are retired.
That leaves 133 million to ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004
A husband and his wife had a bitter
quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding
The husband yells,
"When you die, I'm getting you a
headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My
Wife - Cold As Ever'."
she replies, "When you die, I'm
getting you a headstone that reads:
'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At
Last.'" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 9 Iunie 2005
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing
problems for a number of years. He went
to the doctor and the doctor was able to
have him fitted for a set of hearing
aids that allowed the gentleman to hear
The elderly gentleman
went back in a month to the doctor and
the doctor said:
- Your hearing is
perfect. Your family must be really
pleased that you can hear again.
To which the gentleman ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 19 Noiembrie 2013
This is an actual job application that a
75 year old senior citizen submitted to
Walmart in Arkansas. They hired him
because he was so funny.
- - - - - -
- - - - -
NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy
SEX: Not lately, but I am
looking for the right woman (or at least
one who will cooperate)
POSITION: Company's President or Vice
President. But seriously, whatever's
available. If I was in ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 21 Noiembrie 2006
I was out walking with my 4 year old
daughter. She picked up something off
the ground and started to put it in her
mouth. I took the item away from her and
I asked her not to do that. "Why?" my
daughter asked. "Because it's been on
the ground, you don't know where it's
been, it'sdirty and probably has germs"
I replied. At this point, my daughter
looked at me with total admiration and ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 22 Martie 2007
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down
a country road for several miles, not
saying a word.
An earlier discussion
had led to an argument and neither of
them wanted to concede their position..
As they passed a barnyard of mules,
goats, and pigs, the husband asked
sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.' ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 30 Mai 2010
A husband read an article to
his wife about how many words women use
a day: 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
wife replied, 'The reason has to be
because we have to repeat everything to
The husband then turned to
his wife and asked, 'What?' ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 30 Mai 2010
Basic philosophy in BIG 4:
- Ernst &
Young = Dead & Young
PriceWaterhouseCoopers = Prices are
everything, no water, no house, cope
with us, cause we don’t care!!!
KPMG = Kill People More Gently
Deloitte & Touche = Delighted to kill
our employees. Touchė!!! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 27 Aprilie 2007
I am not sure exactly how this works,
but this is amazingly accurate.
picture below has two identical dolphins
in it. It was used in a case study on
stress levels at the Mayo Clinic and
later at Fletcher Medical Center in
Look at both dolphins
jumping out of the water. The dolphins
are identical. A closely monitored,
scientific study revealed that, in spite
of the fact that ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 25 Martie 2008
I was having trouble with my computer.
So I called Harold, the computer guy, to
come over. Harold clicked a couple of
buttons and solved the problem. He gave
me a bill for a minimum service call.
As he was walking away, I called
after him, "So, what was wrong?"
replied, "It was an 'ID ten T' error."
I didn't want to appear stupid, but
I nonetheless inquired, "An ID ten T
Error? What's that, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 4 Iunie 2007
After school one day, a young
first-grade boy was sitting at the
kitchen table, eating his afternoon
snack, when he blurted out, "Mom, the
teacher was asking me today if I have
any brothers or sisters who will be
coming to school."
The boy's mother
replied, "That's nice of her to take
such an interest, dear. What did she say
when you told her you are an only
She just said, "Thank ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 10 Martie 2008
Explicatii de dat atunci cand nu va merg
aplicatiile si programele.
19. "It's never
done that before."
18. "It worked
17. "How is that
16. "It must be a
15. "What did you
type in wrong to get it to crash?"
14. "There is something funky in
13. "I haven't touched
that module in weeks!"
12. ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 28 Noiembrie 2006
Many hymnals have a hymn called "Gladly
the Cross I'd Bear."
that one week when the church secretary
was typing the Sunday
asked the pastor which hymn would come
just before the
sermon. He replied
with the above-mentioned hymn.
The following Sunday the bulletin
Hymn No. 134: "Gladly,
the Cross-eyed Bear." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 16 Octombrie 2008