Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook venison steak. But all of Bubba's neighbors were...
propus: 8 Mar 2007
Each Friday night after work, Bubba
would fire up his outdoor grill and cook
venison steak. But all of Bubba's
neighbors were Catholic, and since it
was Lent, they were forbidden from
eating red meat on Friday.
The
delicious aroma from the grilled venison
steaks was causing such a problem for
the Catholic faithful that they finally
talked to their priest.
The priest
came to visit Bubba and suggested that
he become a Catholic.
After several
classes and much study, Bubba attended
Mass.
The priest sprinkled holy
water over him and said, "You were born
a Baptist and raised as a Baptist, but
now you are Catholic."
Bubba's
neighbors were greatly relieved, until
Friday night arrived and the wonderful
aroma of grilled venison filled the
neighborhood. The priest was called
immediately by the neighbors.
As the
priest rushed into Bubba's yard,
clutching a rosary and prepared to scold
him, he stopped and watched in
amazement.
There stood Bubba,
clutching a small bottle of holy water,
which he carefully sprinkled over the
grilling meat while chanting, "You wuz
born a deer, you wuz raised a deer, but
now you are a catfish."
A pickpocket was appearing in court for a series of petty crimes. Mr. Brewster, the judge said, you are hereby found guilty and fined the sum of $150. After consulting with his client, Mr. [...]
banc precedent A man visited a psychiatrist to talk about his dreams. Every night, the man said, I dream that these three hideous monsters are sitting on the edge of my bed, ready to attack me. Hmmm, [...]
banc urmator
George Bush is visiting the Queen of
England. He asks her, "Your Majesty, how
do you run such an efficient government?
Are there any tips you can give me?"
"Well," says the Queen, "the
most important thing is to surround
yourself with intelligent people.
"Bush frowns. "But how do I know the
people around me are really
intelligent?"
The Queen takes a
sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy. You just
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 14 Iulie 2006
Gravitation is not responsible for
people falling in love.
I never
think of the future. It comes soon
enough.
The only thing that
interferes with my learning is my
education.
Education is what remains
after one has forgotten everything he
learned in school.
Two things are
infinite: the universe and human
stupidity; and I'm not sure about
the universe.
Wire telegraph is a
kind of a very,
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 12 Aprilie 2005
A linguistics professor was lecturing
his class one day.
- In English, he
said, a double negative forms a
positive. In some languages, though,
such as Romanian, a double negative is
still a negative. However, there is no
language wherein a double positive can
form a negative.
A loud voice from
the back of the room piped up:
-
Yeah, right.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 Iunie 2011
Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the
river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his
clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan
asked "Why"?
A: The animals told
him. Your tail is in front".
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Februarie 2007

There are 2 people always next to you:
The Manager, smiling pleasantly to
hide evil intentions!
The Team
Leader, busy figuring out what work to
dump on you next...
And, there's
YOU, who struggles with it all!
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 22 Iunie 2008
Year 1981 =========
1. Prince
Charles got married
2. Liverpool
crowned Champions of Europe
3. Pope
Died.
Year 2005 =========
1. Prince Charles got married
(again)
2. Liverpool crowned
Champions of Europe (again)
3. Pope
Died.
*** In Future,
if
Charles wants to re-marry
or
Liverpool needs another crown. .... POOR
POPE....!!
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 23 August 2005
All eyes were on the radiant bride as
her father escorted her down the aisle.
They reached the altar and the waiting
groom; the bride kissed her father and
placed something in his hand. The guests
in the front pews, and the minister,
responded with ripples of laughter. As
her father gave her away in marriage,
the bride had given him back his credit
card.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 28 Noiembrie 2006
This coming week is National Mental
Health Care week.
You can do
your part by remembering to contact at
least one unstable person to show you
care.
Well, my job is done!
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 18 Ianuarie 2007
Satan greets Bill Gates:
- Welcome
Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for
you. This will be your home for all
eternity. You've been selfish,
greedy and a big liar all your life.
Now, since you've got me in a good
mood, I'll be generous and give you
a choice of three places in which
you'll be locked up forever.
Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of
fire in which millions of poor
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005
A man follows a woman out of a movie
theatre. She has a dog on a leash. He
stops her and says, "I'm sorry to
bother you, but I couldn't help but
notice that your dog was really into the
movie. He cried at the right spots, he
moved nervously in his seat at the
boring parts, but most of all, he
laughed like crazy at the funny parts.
Did you find that unusual?"
"Yes,"
she replied, "I found
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of
your emergency?
Caller: My wife is
pregnant and her contractions are only
two minutes apart!
Dispatcher: Is
this her first child?
Caller: This
is her husband!
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 12 Aprilie 2007
A wife asked her husband: "What do you
like most in me, my pretty face or my
sexy body?"
He looked at her from
head to toes and replied after a pause:
"I like your sense of humor!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 10 Ianuarie 2005