Lady: Is this my train? Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company. Lady: Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I...
propus: 27 Feb 2007
In a class on abnormal psychology, the
instructor was about to introduce the
subject of manic depression.
The
instructor asked, "How would you
diagnose a patient who walks back and
forth, screaming at the top of his lungs
one minute, then sits in a chair weeping
uncontrollably the next?"
A young
man in the rear raised his hand and
suggested earnestly, "A basketball
coach?"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 4 Decembrie 2006
Two engineering students were walking
across campus when one said:
- Where
did you get such a great bike?
The
second engineer replied:
- Well, I
was walking along yesterday minding my
own business when a beautiful woman rode
up on this bike. She threw the bike to
the ground, took off all her clothes and
said, "Take what you want."
The
second engineer nodded approvingly:
- Good choice; the
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005
Hung Chow calls work and says:
-
Hey, boss I no come work today, I really
sick. I got headache, stomach ache and
my legs hurt, I no come work.
The
boss says:
- You know Hung Chow, I
really need you today. When I feel like
that I go to my wife and tell her to
sing for me. That makes everything
better and I go work. You try that.
Two hours later Hung Chow calls
again:
- Boss, I do what you say
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 16 Martie 2005
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing
problems for a number of years. He went
to the doctor and the doctor was able to
have him fitted for a set of hearing
aids that allowed the gentleman to hear
100%.
The elderly gentleman
went back in a month to the doctor and
the doctor said:
- Your hearing is
perfect. Your family must be really
pleased that you can hear again.
To which the gentleman
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 19 Noiembrie 2013
A Spanish teacher was explaining to her
class that in Spanish, unlike English,
nouns are designated as either masculine
or feminine.
"House" for instance,
is feminine: "la casa."
"Pencil,"
however, is masculine: "el lapiz."
A
student asked, "What gender is
'computer'?"
Instead of giving the
answer, the teacher split the class into
two groups, male and female, and asked
them to decide for
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 5 Iunie 2007
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of
your emergency?
Caller: My wife is
pregnant and her contractions are only
two minutes apart!
Dispatcher: Is
this her first child?
Caller: This
is her husband!
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 12 Aprilie 2007
There is an old story about a mother who
walks in on her six-year-old son and
finds him sobbing. "What's the matter?"
she asks.
"I've just figured out how
to tie my shoes."
"Well, honey,
that's wonderful." Being a wise mother,
she recognizes his victory in the
Eriksonian struggle of autonomy versus
doubt: "You're growing up, but why are
you crying?"
"Because," he says,
"now I'll have to do it
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 20 Aprilie 2007
Queen Elizabeth II, George W Bush &
Traian Basescu died & went straight to
hell.
Queen Elizabeth II said
"I miss Britain, I want to call Britain
and see how everybody is doing there.
She called and talked for about 5
minutes, then her Majesty asked "Well,
Devil how much do I owe you? The devil
replied "Five million dollars" She wrote
him a cheque and went to sit back on her
chair.
George
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 27 Octombrie 2006
A young husband comes home one night,
and his wife throws her arms around his
neck: "Darling, I have great news:
I'm a month overdue. I think
we're going to have a baby! The
doctor gave me a test today, but until
we find out for sure, we can't tell
anybody."
The next day, a guy
from the electric company rings the
door-bell, because the young couple
hasn't paid their last bill:
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004
Two cows are conversing in a field. The
first one says to the other, "Have you
heard about this 'mad cow disease' that
is going around?"
The second cow
responds, "Yeah, but I'm not worried
about it; I'm an airplane!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 23 Iulie 2008
FINAL EXAM
The blonde reports
for her university final examination
that consists of yes/no type questions.
She takes her seat in the examination
hall, stares at the question paper for
five minutes and then, in a fit of
inspiration, takes out her purse,
removes a coin and starts tossing the
coin, marking the answer sheet: Yes, for
Heads, and! No, for Tails. Within half
an hour she is all
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004