Lady: Is this my train? Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company. Lady: Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I...
propus: 27 Feb 2007
After buying her kids a pet hamster,
after they PROMISED they would take care
of it, Mom, as usual, ended up with the
responsibility.
One evening, exasperated, she asked
them, "How many times do you think that
hamster would have died if I hadn't
looked after it?"
After a moment, her youngest son replied
quizzically, "Once?"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 22 August 2007
Once upon a time there were two
brothers.
One brother was very mischievous, always
getting into trouble.
The other brother, however, was very
good. He was always kind to animals,
helped elderly neighbors, and led an
exemplary life.
As time went on, the brothers stayed in
touch but were never close.
The evil brother became a heavy drinker
and a womanizer.
The other brother was a devoted
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 6 Aprilie 2006
After school one day, a young
first-grade boy was sitting at the
kitchen table, eating his afternoon
snack, when he blurted out, "Mom, the
teacher was asking me today if I have
any brothers or sisters who will be
coming to school."
The boy's mother replied, "That's nice
of her to take such an interest, dear.
What did she say when you told her you
are an only child?"
She just said, "Thank
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 10 Martie 2008
A Czech goes to the optician who shows
him a card with the letters 'C Z W X
N Q S T A C Z'.
"Can you read this?" the optician asks.
"Read it?" the Czech replies, "I even
know the guy."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 31 August 2004
Heaven is where the police are British,
the chefs Italian, the mechanics German,
the lovers French and it is all
organized by the Swiss.
Hell is where police are German, the
chefs British, the mechanics French, the
lovers Swiss and it is all organized by
the Italians.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 29 Noiembrie 2005
Have you heard of the Air Force's
ultra-high-security, super-secret base
in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51"?
Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force
folks out at Area 51 were very surprised
to see a Cessna landing at their
"secret" base. They immediately
impounded the aircraft and hauled the
pilot into an interrogation room.
The pilot's story was that he took off
from Las Vegas, got lost, and
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 10 Decembrie 2007
TEACHER: George Washington not only
chopped down his father's cherry tree,
but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you
know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe
in his hand.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 1 Mai 2009
Lady: Is this my train?
Station Master: No, it belongs to the
Railway Company.
Lady: Don't try to be funny. I mean to
ask if I can take this train to New
Delhi.
Station Master: No Madam, I'm afraid
it's too heavy.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 27 Februarie 2007
A cat died and went to Heaven. God met
her at the gates and said:
- You have been a good cat all these
years. Anything you want is yours for
the asking.
The cat thought for a minute and then
said:
- All my life I lived on a farm and
slept on hard wooden floors. I would
like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on.
God said:
- Say no more.
Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy
pillow.
A few days later,
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 30 Martie 2005
On the first day of school, the teacher
asked a student:
- What are your parents' names?
The student replied:
- My father's name is Laughing and my
mother's name is Smiling.
The teacher said:
- Are you kidding?
The student said:
- No, Kidding is my brother. I am
Joking.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 19 Martie 2015
Robert went to his lawyer and said:
- I would like to make a will, but I
don't know exactly how to go about it.
The lawyer smiled at Robert and replied:
- Not a problem, leave it all to me.
Robert looked somewhat upset and said:
- Well, I knew you were going to take a
big portion, but I would like to leave a
little to my family too!
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 Iunie 2011
Sally phoned her husband, Bill, at work
for a chat.
"I'm sorry dear," said Bill, "but I'm up
to my neck in work today. I don't have
time to chat."
Sally replied, "But I've got some good
news and some bad news for you, dear."
"OK, darling," said Bill, "but as I've
got no time right now, just give me the
good news."
"OK," agreed Sally. "Well, the air bag
works!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 7 August 2008
A mother and a daughter are shopping in
the mall, when the mother eyes an
expensive fur coat.
"This year," she says, "I think that I
will buy my present instead of making
you and Dad shop for me." The daughter
nods in agreement. "And I think this fur
coat would be perfect too."
The daughter protests, "But Mom, some
helpless, poor creature has to suffer so
that you can have this."
"Don't worry,
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 7 Februarie 2008