With a couple celebrating their 50th anniversary at the church's marriage marathon, the minister asked Brother Ralph to take a...

Banc din categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)

propus de: Ralph pe data: 5 Feb 2007

With a couple celebrating their 50th anniversary at the church's marriage marathon, the minister asked Brother Ralph to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he managed to live with the same woman all these years.

The husband replied to the audience, "Well, I treated her with respect, spent money on her, but mostly I took her traveling on special occasions."

The minister inquired trips to where? "For our 25th anniversary, I took her to Beijing, China."

The minister then said, "What a terrific example you are to all husbands, Ralph. Please tell the audience what you're going to do for your wife on your 50th anniversary?"

Brother Ralph: "I'm going back to get her."

The phone rang. It was a salesman from a mortgage refinance company. Do you have a second mortgage on your home? No, I replied. Would you like to consolidate all your debts? [...]
banc precedent
Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology? A: When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology. When the baby looks like the neighbour, then it is sociology.
banc urmator

Two guys walk into a bar, separately, and have a seat at the bar.

One guy notices the other has a black eye, just like him.

“Hey buddy, how’d you get your shiner?”

“Well, I was at the train station, and the ticket girl was veeery hot. And instead of two tickets to Pittsburg, I slipped and said ‘two PICKets to TITTsburg’ and she hit me square in the ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 24 August 2008


Concerned about fitness in my middle 40s, I enrolled in an aerobics class. To my dismay I walked into a room filled with much younger women and decided to combat my nervousness with humor.
"I'm here to do my postnatal exercises."
The instructor gave me an appraising look. "How old is your baby?"
"Twenty-six," I replied. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 13 Februarie 2008


You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus:
1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect man (or) woman you have been dreaming about.
Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car. ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 16 Mai 2005


TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 26 Noiembrie 2008


Problem: Expand expression (a+b)n <br>
<br>See for yourself what solution our
student has found. <br>... Also our
teacher's comment, written with red.Problem: Expand expression (a+b)n

See for yourself what solution our student has found.
... Also our teacher's comment, written with red. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 17 August 2006


Phrases For Your "Out-Of-The-Office" E-Mail Auto-Reply:

- I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

- I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.

- You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004


3 Little Pigs - The Untold Story

This is classic - a true story, proving how fascinating is the mind of a six year old. They think so logically.

A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home. She read, "...and so the pig went up to the man with the ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004


Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their 9 children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the 9 kids are able to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 5 Octombrie 2006


I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Harold, the computer guy, to come over. Harold clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call.
As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"
He replied, "It was an 'ID ten T' error."
I didn't want to appear stupid, but I nonetheless inquired, "An ID ten T Error? What's that, ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 4 Iunie 2007


What do you get if you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
Someone who stays awake at night wondering if there really is a dog. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 17 August 2007


If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, itwill always be yours. If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with. But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn't appear to realize that you had set it free... You either married it or gave birth to it ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 9 August 2007


An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said:
- If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess.
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said:
- If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005


Have you heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51"?

Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room.

The pilot's story was that he took off from Las Vegas, got lost, ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 10 Decembrie 2007


- What is the longest word in the English language?
- It is the word "smiles", because there is a mile between the first letter and the last! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 20 Octombrie 2013


I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. "Why?" my daughter asked. "Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been, it'sdirty and probably has germs" I replied. At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 22 Martie 2007